A non-goateed bald dude wearing a hoodie just screams 'monk'.
And yes, that is from experience.
I Want to Get Married
- Thread starter BolianAuthor
- Start date
And yes, that is from experience.
^ With me, the baldness and the goatee go together. I wouldn't do one without the other. It's a set. 
Besides, I hate the way I look with hair and (also 'or') no beard.
Besides, I hate the way I look with hair and (also 'or') no beard.
This is an awesome idea! In fact, on a mental level, that may even be WAY better than asking for or giving a number, because one, it tells her you'd like to see her and be with her again, yet you are also conveying that you will do it in an open and familiar environment where she'd feel more at ease.
but you all look so mean (w/ bald +goatee) like youre a hitman.
Micheal Chiklis in No Ordinary Family looks cute & cuddly. Not so much in the Shield. 
Micheal Chiklis in No Ordinary Family looks cute & cuddly. Not so much in the Shield. 
Obviously, YMMV.
but you all look so mean (w/ bald +goatee) like youre a hitman.
awww, thanks.
Seriously, I don't set out to look mean or nasty, I'm just trying for a look I can be comfortable with.
I'd also say this the better way to go. This happened to me once some years ago while I was working. A very nice guy came over to talk to me in a friendly non-predatory way. We had a great little chat and found we had some things in common and did swap email addys at his suggestion. It's only in hindsight that I see that was perhaps his way of asking me out, and it was done so subtly I did not notice (I wasn't too bright then), I thought he just wanted to be friends. Still if he had asked for my number first time, I would not have given it, so as not to risk leading him on.
I guess it depends where you want to go from the start, Personally, I think an email swap does not suggest romantic interest. Still, it may allow you a chance to go further than you might have otherwise, and she may like you as a friend first, and then you will have to do the work to make it more than that; but if she's certain she's not interested in being more, it may just be setting yourself up for disappointment - depends what type of personality you have when it comes to how you'll cope with that. Asking for a number first time, may be a very reliable gauge of her romantic interest, in any case. Gosh, it does seem like a mine field when you over think it.
That's a little harsh!
*This coming from someone who spent the evening browsing the National Geographic store for nerd chic.
I think asking her if she wants to get coffee (or caramels) sometime, is the way to go. Coffee (or caramels) isn't as long as dinner, not asking for personal info, and not overly presumptuous (assuming the chat so far had been fun and interesting) but doesn't leave any room for misinterpretation. You're letting her know you're interested in pursuing any chance of a romantic relationship, but doesn't have the "ick" factor of outright asking for her number - or email (which I wouldn't give out either).
A question for those with more experience dating than me. Would you ask a girl if she's seeing someone first, or straight out ask her out?
As long as you can stomach the embarrassment if she turns out to be with someone, you might as well just ask her out first.
There are ways to find this out without asking outright.
1. "So do you have any plans this weekend?"
- Great chance for her to say, "Yes, my wonderful boyfriend and I are heading out of town together."
2. "That's a very nice bracelet/necklace/earrings you're wearing."
- Chance for her to say, "Thanks--my boyfriend got it for me." You can recover by smiling and saying, "Do you know where he got it? I want to get something nice for my sister/girlfriend/whoever and I think she'd like something like that."
Generally, it's a nice idea to move the conversation in the direction of maybe asking to do something together without not quite asking, "Should we go out tomorrow night" point blank.
1. "So do you have any plans this weekend?"
- Great chance for her to say, "Yes, my wonderful boyfriend and I are heading out of town together."
2. "That's a very nice bracelet/necklace/earrings you're wearing."
- Chance for her to say, "Thanks--my boyfriend got it for me." You can recover by smiling and saying, "Do you know where he got it? I want to get something nice for my sister/girlfriend/whoever and I think she'd like something like that."
Generally, it's a nice idea to move the conversation in the direction of maybe asking to do something together without not quite asking, "Should we go out tomorrow night" point blank.
Sam McCord
Lieutenant Commander
^
That's good advice, as well.
That's good advice, as well.
I know exactly what you mean, but, that answer shouldn't be embarrassing. If you'd like to be with a gal, you'd like her to be happy, and if she's accounted for, she's probably happy with that fact; ergo, while it may suck for you, you should still be happy for her.
Basically, be ready for that answer should you ever get it, and if you do, find the sincerity and conviction to smile and say that that's great, that her boyfriend's a lucky guy. She'll almost certainly return the smile, and while you may leave the encounter date-less, you'll know that you made a gal smile, and handled a potentially awkward situation better than the vast majority of dudes would have.
I know exactly what you mean, but, that answer shouldn't be embarrassing. If you'd like to be with a gal, you'd like her to be happy, and if she's accounted for, she's probably happy with that fact; ergo, while it may suck for you, you should still be happy for her.
Basically, be ready for that answer should you ever get it, and if you do, find the sincerity and conviction to smile and say that that's great, that her boyfriend's a lucky guy. She'll almost certainly return the smile, and while you may leave the encounter date-less, you'll know that you made a gal smile, and handled a potentially awkward situation better than the vast majority of dudes would have.
It wouldn't be embarrassing to me, I'm just considering the crowd here. Let's face it, a lot of people here have to work up a lot of courage just to ask a girl out, and for it to turn out she's already taken could conceivably be quite embarrassing. It's really not that big a deal, though. You just move on and look for someone else!
Just ask her out. She'll either say "Yes", or , "I'm seeing somebody".
At least that's partially how it used to work for me.
I see what you mean, but we're Trekkers; we should aim for excellence, and excellence begins in the mind. It's thus unhelpful at best to condescend to fellow members, even if one's intentions are good - IMHO. Asking a gal out indeed takes courage, and if one does so with dignity and compassion, that's an accomplishment to take pride in regardless of the outcome.
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