I Want to Get Married

[JoeZhang]

Is it just me who wouldn't hit on someone doing their job?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Is it just me who wouldn't hit on someone doing their job?

No, I wouldn't do it, either. There have been some checkout girls that I wouldn't have minded getting to know better, but come on, they're paid to smile and be nice to you. Shouldn't read too much into it, and it's not appropriate to try to ask them or do more than a little flirting while they're scanning your stuff.

 

[JarodRussell]

Why? They are human beings after all.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I just think it's rude. They are on the clock and could conceivably get in trouble by conducting "personal business" on company time. Plus, they aren't in a situation where they can easily walk away if you make them uncomfortable, and to me that makes it something of an unfair, one-sided situation.

 

[iguana_tonante]

In the military, we called those Tactical Birth Control Devices.

Context is everything. Look desperately geeky because you have to, or you don't know any better? Loser. Look stylishly geeky because you want to? Sexy.

While it doesn't look dirty or ragged, it's also definitively not attractive.

I don't know about that. When mr. teacake told me that he only wore t-shirts ever I found that very attractive.

Well, as with all generalizations, there is (wide) room for exception. Quirky clothes are good. But you have to be careful to to cross the line between eccentric and weird. A wise admonition to remember about fashion is "all rules can be broken, no rule should be ignored".

I decided once that if I was a man I would only dress in hawaiian shirts and jeans. I would have a fabulous collection of hawaiian shirts, both vintage and modern, and several old faithful pairs of levis.

Well, it worked for Magnum, P.I.

Also, your room looks like the place where you put the stuffed animals from your old Aunt's inheritance...

Ha bloody ha. That's my office. What, is THAT not decorated enough either?

Well, since you mentioned, a nice curtain and some framed prints (possibly art rétro or something like that) would do wonders to it.

 

[JarodRussell]

Yeah, half a minute of asking someone out for a coffee after closing time will certainly put someone in serious trouble. I don't know what huge artistic act you are performing that would make someone feel uncomfortable, though.

 

[Jenee]

In the military, we called those Tactical Birth Control Devices.

Context is everything. Look desperately geeky because you have to, or you don't know any better? Loser. Look stylishly geeky because you want to? Sexy.

I agree. My statement wasn't meant to be anything more than light-hearted humor.

I love geeks. I think they're sexy even when they aren't trying to be - or especially when they aren't trying to be.

 

[JoeZhang]

Yeah, half a minute of asking someone out for a coffee after closing time will certainly put someone in serious trouble. I don't know what huge artistic act you are performing that would make someone feel uncomfortable, though.

It's the power imbalance that would be the problem for me - you aren't starting on a level playing field. Female friends of mine who work as waitresses tell me its common for guys who get the knock-back to make complaints about poor service or leave a poor tip.

 

[JarodRussell]

Yeah, half a minute of asking someone out for a coffee after closing time will certainly put someone in serious trouble. I don't know what huge artistic act you are performing that would make someone feel uncomfortable, though.

It's the power imbalance that would be the problem for me - you aren't starting on a level playing field. Female friends of mine who work as waitresses tell me its common for guys who get the knock-back to make complaints about poor service or leave a poor tip.

So your problem with asking someone at work out for a coffee is that others who do that behave badly when they get shot down? Well, then just don't be the same ass.

 

[JoeZhang]

Yeah, half a minute of asking someone out for a coffee after closing time will certainly put someone in serious trouble. I don't know what huge artistic act you are performing that would make someone feel uncomfortable, though.

It's the power imbalance that would be the problem for me - you aren't starting on a level playing field. Female friends of mine who work as waitresses tell me its common for guys who get the knock-back to make complaints about poor service or leave a poor tip.

So your problem with asking someone at work out for a coffee is that others who do that behave badly?

No, I don't want to put someone who is dealing with me in a professional capacity in an uncomfortable spot.

 

[JarodRussell]

LOL, you already expect someone feeling uncomfortable in your presence, then it's really a good thing not to try it.

 

[JoeZhang]

LOL, you already expect someone feeling uncomfortable in your presence, then it's really a good thing not to try it.

WHOOSH!

 

[iguana_tonante]

Context is everything. Look desperately geeky because you have to, or you don't know any better? Loser. Look stylishly geeky because you want to? Sexy.

I agree. My statement wasn't meant to be anything more than light-hearted humor.

I know. But I thought the comment was clever (and appropriate), so I replied to that.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

LOL, you already expect someone feeling uncomfortable in your presence, then it's really a good thing not to try it.

I would expect anyone to feel uncomfortable if I tried to leverage their job function--serving me--to ply personal information from them. I imagine there are a lot of creeps who do that and will complain if they're turned down, and how is she going to know that I'm not like that? Best not to put someone in that position to begin with. It's just common courtesy to do your business quickly and kindly.

You've amply demonstrated you don't care one whit about being courteous and neither do you mind making others uncomfortable in your presence, so I'll just accept that you don't get it. Good day, sir.

 

[JarodRussell]

LOL, you already expect someone feeling uncomfortable in your presence, then it's really a good thing not to try it.

I would expect anyone to feel uncomfortable if I tried to leverage their job function--serving me--to ply personal information from them. I imagine there are a lot of creeps who do that and will complain if they're turned down, and how is she going to know that I'm not like that? Best not to put someone in that position to begin with. It's just common courtesy to do your business quickly and kindly.

You've amply demonstrated you don't care one whit about being courteous and neither do you mind making others uncomfortable in your presence, so I'll just accept that you don't get it. Good day, sir.

No, I just think that "Can I invite you for a coffee after work?" is not as troublesome as most of you make it out to be. It's a simple yes or no question, takes half a minute and a smile. Worked out for me, and, obviously, my better half, as well.


You can bring up all of these arguments, it's rude, it makes him/her uncomfortable, etc... for EVERY opportunity to talk to women/men (and as it happens, I know a couple of poor folks who do that). Never approach the jogging girl, she could be annoyed! Never approach that girl in the bar, you don't know what she's up to! Don't talk to the girl in the bus, she's surely stressed out from work! Don't flirt with the girl in the library, she's here for the books, and not for you! Don't ask the girl in the coffee shop, it might be her short lunch break, don't waste her time! Etc, etc, blablabla. In the end it's just another excuse not to approach the person you are interested in. Don't approach her at work, nono! So, how about asking her after work? Nonono, that's creepy and rude, too, if I wait so long, what will she think of me?!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Also, your room looks like the place where you put the stuffed animals from your old Aunt's inheritance...

Ha bloody ha. That's my office. What, is THAT not decorated enough either?

Well, since you mentioned, a nice curtain and some framed prints (possibly art rétro or something like that) would do wonders to it.

I don't want that sort of thing. My walls have no prints or pictures, no curtains, drapes or decorations of any kind. I'm seriously into minimalism.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Well, you asked.

 

[Jenee]

Context is everything. Look desperately geeky because you have to, or you don't know any better? Loser. Look stylishly geeky because you want to? Sexy.

I agree. My statement wasn't meant to be anything more than light-hearted humor.

I know. But I thought the comment was clever (and appropriate), so I replied to that.

Ok, so we're both just not getting each other's humor. Sorry, I'm still a bit gunshy posting outside TNZ.

LOL, you already expect someone feeling uncomfortable in your presence, then it's really a good thing not to try it.

I would expect anyone to feel uncomfortable if I tried to leverage their job function--serving me--to ply personal information from them. I imagine there are a lot of creeps who do that and will complain if they're turned down, and how is she going to know that I'm not like that? Best not to put someone in that position to begin with. It's just common courtesy to do your business quickly and kindly.

You've amply demonstrated you don't care one whit about being courteous and neither do you mind making others uncomfortable in your presence, so I'll just accept that you don't get it. Good day, sir.

While I was waitressing, I could tell a creep from a nice guy. Either way, I would be honest with that person - if I were not interested in dating that person. If the creep complained or left less of a tip, I assumed it was because he was a creep, not because I turned him down.

Creeps tho, doesn't matter if you meet them at work or somewhere else, they always find a way to fuck with you if you turn them down, best to just avoid them altogether.

 

[melancholymecha]

While it doesn't look dirty or ragged, it's also definitively not attractive. In fact, I'm afraid I would say it's rather sad, and sensationally bland. Like you made a run through a sporting goods store with the lights off and went out wearing what got caught on you. I can see dressing like that at home, or when having a jog in the park or work, but little else. Remember, if it doesn't have a collar, it's not suitable to wear at work or on a date.

its not that bad for casual wear... the hoodies thing is a plus but I love hoodies/seatshirts. Id prefer no goatee with the bald look but thats just me... if he likes how it looks good for him. Just like how I refuse to paint/manicure my nails. They are clean & short and thats it.

 

[Shazam!]

Look desperately geeky because you have to, or you don't know any better? Loser. Look stylishly geeky because you want to? Sexy.

The off-the-rack geek look is the most cringe-worthy thing there is.