I think I'm in love with my best friend!

[DonIago]

(hopes to catch her on the rebound)

 

[Pindar]

I say to the naysayers this will be the best season yet.

 

[Jono]

I'm still waiting for the token black character to appear. Here's hoping it's Blink.

 

[Kommander]

^ The Thamester is black.

I mentioned this last season but no one believed me. This time, I dug up the relevant post from Season One: http://www.trekbbs.com/showpost.php?p=1071478&postcount=56

It clearly states in the forth paragraph that MadBaggins thought Alicia was uneasy around The Thamesinator because he was black, but it turns out it was just Asperger's.

 

[Rocketman]

So I emailed long distance girl last night, finally. She was a really nice girl. It was the best thing to do to move on from the Thamester (a stupid name he made people call him five years ago, then forgot about.) The only problem is that when I met her I had told her I was a professional wrestler.

It was only a little white lie. I DID train to be a wrestler a while ago, as Squiggy and Trekker will remember (and possibly Scott.) I was quit good at it too. I had to quit for various reasons. But I could go back anytime! So really it wasn't all that bad.

I believe TrekBBS member jamestyler is a professional wrestler, or used to be. Perhaps he can help you out in keeping up appearances.

 

[Squiggy]

Step 1. Headbutt something.

Step 2 (providing your don't break your leg to rupture your bladder doing step 1): Play the guitar.

Feeling up your talentless, mannish daughter and having a convicted felon for a son later: optional.

 

[Major Chord]

^ The Thamester is black.

I mentioned this last season but no one believed me. This time, I dug up the relevant post from Season One: http://www.trekbbs.com/showpost.php?p=1071478&postcount=56

It clearly states in the forth paragraph that MadBaggins thought Alicia was uneasy around The Thamesinator because he was black, but it turns out it was just Asperger's.

I honestly figured him for the English Butler type...

 

[Scout101]

If he gets stuck, could always revive Matthew, the homeless character. The "fake homeless girl Kate" plotline got dropped due to sinking ratings, but that angle could be tried again if he gets stuck, too. I mean, we all know she was faking being homeless anyway, think of the hijinks he could get up to as he follows her to discover the truth!

 

[Kirby]

She replied with more pics of herself.

Meet her, and give her a stonecold stunner.

I don't think I'll speak to Thames again for a long time.

Give him a stonecold stunner

Mom's just glad to have me home.

Give mom a stonecold stunner.

 

[MadBaggins]

I believe TrekBBS member jamestyler is a professional wrestler, or used to be. Perhaps he can help you out in keeping up appearances.

Thanks for the advice! It's great that there's a wrestler here. LDG (Long Distance Girl) hasn't contacted me today. She goes to college and has lots of friends, so that's probably why. I'm not worried about her finding this site, Mad Baggins is probably a common name. Also I have kept the details very vague and the situations I am describing are quite common and could happen to almost anyone.

I won't be showing off to her and pretending I'm a big name wrestling star on tv. That would be stupid. I won't even tell her I win all my matches, because she's quite smart and knows it's all pre-determined anyway!

Well, Alicia called today. I was surprised. We have a complicated relationship and I didn't think she liked me anymore. But she was really nice. We talked about the mistakes we've made in the past, but only in general terms and not specifics (the specifics being all the sex we had) because I think we are both ashamed and regret that in some ways. Mom told me when I got back that Alicia and her new girlfriend are practically addicted to making movies and carry a video camera around with them now. This didn't surprise me, Alicia has always been very creative. She is a high functioning autismtic with some OCD and those types are good at creative stuff. I've read some of the stories she's written in the past and they were very good.

Anyway, she's been writing a movie with her girlfriend for months and they want to finally make it. She said she's shown the script to professionals and gotten really good feedback. She asked if I wanted to be in it and of course I said yes right away! It sounds like a lot of fun, acting, and I have spare time at the moment. Plus it would give me time away from Thames...but then a few minutes later she said "oh yeah, could you ask Thames to be in it too?" The characters will be two loser stoner best friends and she thought me and Thames would be perfect for the part!

Well, I think I'll be good at acting (I've practiced in front of the mirror) but I don't know why she's so convinced that me and Thames would be "perfect" for the roles! I tried telling her Thames wasn't needed, but she said she was actually thinking of the two of us when she wrote it! This isn't fair, I get stoned sometimes, yes, but I am NOT a stoner and in fact stoners really annoy me with the way they talk. Thames isn't one either, I think she's stereotyping him a bit because he's black.

Anyway, she kept insisting that me and Thames have to play the characters and asked me to call him and ask. I am conflicted. I was REALLY excited when she talked about her movie. It almost felt like destiny. I've been looking for something to do and acting could be it. Really, it could be, the more I think about it the more excited I am about the possibilities. But...Thames. I'd have to work with Thames. I have been doing really well not thinking about him for the last few days, but if I was near him again...the confusion would all come back.

I don't know what to do. Also that Twitter bird over on the right is REALLY annoying.

 

[archeryguy1701]

I'm not worried about her finding this site,

Did you not catch that part of this discussion where this very thread shows up within 1-5 pages on Google?

Mad Baggins is probably a common name.

You're the first I've met. And all the other Google links are refering to another fake character that has been around much longer.

Also I have kept the details very vague and the situations I am describing are quite common

Vague? If we have been having vague info, I hate to read the post where you start giving actual details. And common? Really?

... and could happen to almost anyone.

Everyone, please raise your hand if a combination of these events have happened to you? Anyone? Anyone at all? MB, put your hand down, I'm looking for other volunteers.

I won't be showing off to her and pretending I'm a big name wrestling star on tv. That would be stupid.

Compared to some other things you've done? Not really. you've done dumber

I won't even tell her I win all my matches, because she's quite smart and knows it's all pre-determined anyway!

Wait... I thought you were arguing with us the last time we made a point of wrestling being fake.

Well, Alicia called today. I was surprised. We have a complicated relationship and I didn't think she liked me anymore. But she was really nice. We talked about the mistakes we've made in the past, but only in general terms and not specifics (the specifics being all the sex we had) because I think we are both ashamed and regret that in some ways. Mom told me when I got back that Alicia and her new girlfriend are practically addicted to making movies and carry a video camera around with them now. This didn't surprise me, Alicia has always been very creative.

Foreshadowing!!!

She is a high functioning autismtic with some OCD and those types are good at creative stuff.

I swear she has a new problem every week. This Autism/ OCD stuff is definately new.

I've read some of the stories she's written in the past and they were very good.

We know. Like the story that you read without her permission and thought was about killing you.

She asked if I wanted to be in it and of course I said yes right away!

Chance for more cousin sex!

I have been doing really well not thinking about him for the last few days

I thought you decided to stop thinking about him like... well, yesterday.

I don't know what to do. Also that Twitter bird over on the right is REALLY annoying.

 

[MetalPants]

I shall now refer to the bird as MiniBaggins.

 

[CaptainStoner]

I'm not worried about her finding this site, Mad Baggins is probably a common name. Also I have kept the details very vague and the situations I am describing are quite common and could happen to almost anyone.

Dude. It comes up on the FIRST PAGE of searching on "Mad Baggins".

She asked if I wanted to be in it and of course I said yes right away!

Gay porn.

Well, I think I'll be good at acting (I've practiced in front of the mirror) but I don't know why she's so convinced that me and Thames would be "perfect" for the roles!

Gay porn.

I tried telling her Thames wasn't needed, but she said she was actually thinking of the two of us when she wrote it!

See above. Some chicks dig it.

This isn't fair, I get stoned sometimes, yes, but I am NOT a stoner and in fact stoners really annoy me with the way they talk.

Whatevah.

Anyway, she kept insisting that me and Thames have to play the characters and asked me to call him and ask. I am conflicted. I was REALLY excited when she talked about her movie. It almost felt like destiny. I've been looking for something to do and acting could be it. Really, it could be, the more I think about it the more excited I am about the possibilities. But...Thames. I'd have to work with Thames. I have been doing really well not thinking about him for the last few days, but if I was near him again...the confusion would all come back.

Remember Luke and the cave... into it you must go.

 

[TheGodBen]

LDG (Long Distance Girl) hasn't contacted me today.

But you're such a catch!

She goes to college and has lots of friends, so that's probably why.

It's August. College normally starts in September. She's not at college.

I'm not worried about her finding this site, Mad Baggins is probably a common name. Also I have kept the details very vague and the situations I am describing are quite common and could happen to almost anyone.

Yeah, I must have fucked and then attempted to murder at least three of my cousins by now, but I do have a large catholic family.

I won't be showing off to her and pretending I'm a big name wrestling star on tv. That would be stupid.

You've chosen not to do the stupid thing? This isn't in-character at all!

I won't even tell her I win all my matches, because she's quite smart and knows it's all pre-determined anyway!

Yeah, that is smart. I was at least seven before I learned that.

Well, Alicia called today. I was surprised. We have a complicated relationship and I didn't think she liked me anymore. But she was really nice. We talked about the mistakes we've made in the past, but only in general terms and not specifics (the specifics being all the sex we had)

You fucked your cousin, you've been repeatedly pointing that out for two years, we get it already.

because I think we are both ashamed and regret that in some ways.

No you don't, you're proud that you fucked your cousin and that's why you keep on talking about it.

Mom told me when I got back that Alicia and her new girlfriend are practically addicted to making movies and carry a video camera around with them now.

Hello! I hope her videos are of a similar nature to her first one.

This didn't surprise me, Alicia has always been very creative. She is a high functioning autismtic with some OCD and those types are good at creative stuff. I've read some of the stories she's written in the past and they were very good.

Her stories were based around killing you with a bowling ball... so yes, they were fantastic! I highly recommend them.

Anyway, she's been writing a movie with her girlfriend for months and they want to finally make it. She said she's shown the script to professionals and gotten really good feedback.

So she sold it to Hollywood for millions of dollars and they've hired some great actors to star in it?

She asked if I wanted to be in it and of course I said yes right away!

Oh.

It sounds like a lot of fun, acting, and I have spare time at the moment. Plus it would give me time away from Thames...but then a few minutes later she said "oh yeah, could you ask Thames to be in it too?"

Wow! What an unexpectedly hilarious plot-twist that has never been used in any form of media ever before!

The characters will be two loser stoner best friends and she thought me and Thames would be perfect for the part!

That's surprisingly logical for her.

Well, I think I'll be good at acting

You wont be acting.

but I don't know why she's so convinced that me and Thames would be "perfect" for the roles!

Because you wont be acting.

I tried telling her Thames wasn't needed, but she said she was actually thinking of the two of us when she wrote it!

Because she didn't want any acting.

Anyway, she kept insisting that me and Thames have to play the characters and asked me to call him and ask. I am conflicted. I was REALLY excited when she talked about her movie. It almost felt like destiny.

What doesn't feel like destiny to you? Fucking your cousin; it was your destiny. Falling in love with Batgirl's ass; it was your destiny. Trying to steal money from your aunt; it was your destiny. Fucking your cousin again; it was your destiny.

I've been looking for something to do and acting could be it.

You wont be acting.

Really, it could be, the more I think about it the more excited I am about the possibilities. But...Thames. I'd have to work with Thames. I have been doing really well not thinking about him for the last few days,

Day.

but if I was near him again...the confusion would all come back.

I'll clear it up for you; you're gay, you love him, you want his penis inside you.

I don't know what to do. Also that Twitter bird over on the right is REALLY annoying.

On the contrary, the twitter bird is a wonderful addition to the site and everybody is happy that the expanded right-hand bar now wastes one-third of the screen once you scroll past the third post.

 

[SinglePurpose]

She is a high functioning autismtic with some OCD and those types are good at creative stuff.

I swear she has a new problem every week. This Autism/ OCD stuff is definately new.

The OCD sounds new but the autism has definitely been there since the very beginning. Aspergers is high functioning autism.

Also, Madbaggins I think you should realize that while it's true that searching for "Mad Baggins" doesn't immediately bring you up and it might be possible for her not to notice searching for "Mad Baggins Wrestler" lists this as the very first result. Plus you've completely described your emails to this girl and told us how you two met so there's really no way she couldn't identify you if she has even half a brain. So yeah, you'd better be registering a dual to keep this story plausible. This could keep the story fresh by introducing a new narrator with a different take on events. Maybe eventually you could even introduce a spinoff where LDG breaks up with you and gets her own college incest show.

 

[Squiggy]

Thanks for the advice! It's great that there's a wrestler here. LDG (Long Distance Girl) hasn't contacted me today.

I reject you reality and subsitute my own. LDG will forever be known as Morgan. The suits think this tests better than acronyms. They have a point as women 18-24 eat it up.

She goes to college and has lots of friends, so that's probably why.

Yes. THAT. Is. Why.

I'm not worried about her finding this site,

Unless she types "Mad Baggins wrestler" into Google:

But who would think about doing that?

Mad Baggins is probably a common name.

On the shire...perhaps. But in reality, no. You're #1!

Also I have kept the details very vague and the situations I am describing are quite common and could happen to almost anyone.

Except you're on record talking about wrestling and telling us all what you told her.

I won't be showing off to her and pretending I'm a big name wrestling star on tv.

Your wisest move yet.

That would be stupid.

Meh. Hasn't stopped the plot before.

I won't even tell her I win all my matches,

What with all the epic failure that has followed your professional wrestling career, this is another wise move.

because she's quite smart and knows it's all pre-determined anyway!

Let's all just hope she's not smart enough to use Google.

Well, Alicia called today. I was surprised.

We're not.

We have a complicated relationship

What with all the sex.

and I didn't think she liked me anymore.

Last time you talked...weren't you all fucking?

But she was really nice. We talked about the mistakes we've made in the past, but only in general terms and not specifics (the specifics being all the sex we had) because I think we are both ashamed and regret that in some ways.

"Some" ways?

Mom told me when I got back that Alicia and her new girlfriend are practically addicted to making movies and carry a video camera around with them now.

American Beauty

This didn't surprise me,

Nor us. Yet here we are.

Alicia has always been very creative.

She is a high functioning autismtic with some OCD and those types are good at creative stuff.

"Those types". Stereotypes are fun aren't they? Good thing you won't be complaining about stereotypes in a few minutes or that would make you look like quite the fool.

I've read some of the stories she's written in the past and they were very good.

Like the snuggletoos or whatever? I thought when you read that you feared for your life.

Anyway, she's been writing a movie with her girlfriend for months and they want to finally make it. She said she's shown the script to professionals and gotten really good feedback.

From...the...professional script writers?

She asked if I wanted to be in it and of course I said yes right away!

Sha! Who wouldn't?!

It sounds like a lot of fun, acting, and I have spare time at the moment.

Because it doesn't take any talent at all to act...just some spare time. Anyone can do this. I would say "break a leg" but you've already done that...what with all that wrestling skill.

Plus it would give me time away from Thames...but then a few minutes later she said "oh yeah, could you ask Thames to be in it too?" The characters will be two loser stoner best friends and she thought me and Thames would be perfect for the part!

Well, I think I'll be good at acting (I've practiced in front of the mirror) but I don't know why she's so convinced that me and Thames would be "perfect" for the roles! I tried telling her Thames wasn't needed, but she said she was actually thinking of the two of us when she wrote it! This isn't fair, I get stoned sometimes, yes, but I am NOT a stoner and in fact stoners really annoy me with the way they talk. Thames isn't one either, I think she's stereotyping him a bit because he's black.

Anyway, she kept insisting that me and Thames have to play the characters and asked me to call him and ask. I am conflicted. I was REALLY excited when she talked about her movie. It almost felt like destiny. I've been looking for something to do and acting could be it. Really, it could be, the more I think about it the more excited I am about the possibilities. But...Thames. I'd have to work with Thames. I have been doing really well not thinking about him for the last few days, but if I was near him again...the confusion would all come back.

I don't know what to do. Also that Twitter bird over on the right is REALLY annoying.

Yes. You've been doing great with not thinking about Thames, but it hasn't been for several days since you talked about him about 24 hours ago. But who's doing the math, eh?

 

[Australis]

Let me say it before anyone else (and in a style reminiscent of this FUCKING ANNOYING COLUMN ON THE RIGHT:

This.

Will.

Not.

End.

Well.

 

[Trekker4747]

I'm not worried about her finding this site, Mad Baggins is probably a common name. Also I have kept the details very vague and the situations I am describing are quite common and could happen to almost anyone.

Yeah. I mean typing "Mad Baggins" into Google and clicking on one of the first few links is so damn hard. And the situations that happen to you cannot happen to almost anyone. Infact, they can happen to no one.

I won't be showing off to her and pretending I'm a big name wrestling star on tv. That would be stupid.

Yes that would be stupid.

Well, Alicia called today. I was surprised. We have a complicated relationship and I didn't think she liked me anymore. But she was really nice. We talked about the mistakes we've made in the past, but only in general terms and not specifics (the specifics being all the sex we had) because I think we are both ashamed and regret that in some ways.

Plot point! Plot point! Plot point!

Mom told me when I got back that Alicia and her new girlfriend are practically addicted to making movies and carry a video camera around with them now.

If you don't send us a link to this amature lipstick-lesbian porn I'm going to be very upset.

This didn't surprise me, Alicia has always been very creative. She is a high functioning autismtic with some OCD and those types are good at creative stuff. I've read some of the stories she's written in the past and they were very good.

It's the fourth season we don't need refresher courses on main characters.

Anyway, she's been writing a movie with her girlfriend for months and they want to finally make it. She said she's shown the script to professionals and gotten really good feedback.

An autistic, teenaged, amature writer who has never been published managed to get face time with, and feedback from, professionals in the industry. The only industry that would do that is the porn industry.

She asked if I wanted to be in it and of course I said yes right away! It sounds like a lot of fun, acting, and I have spare time at the moment.

Your whole life is made-up of free time.

Plus it would give me time away from Thames...but then a few minutes later she said "oh yeah, could you ask Thames to be in it too?" The characters will be two loser stoner best friends and she thought me and Thames would be perfect for the part!

You two WOULD be prfect for the part. Also a movie about two stoner best friends? How original!

Well, I think I'll be good at acting

You think you'll be good at everything.

...but I don't know why she's so convinced that me and Thames would be "perfect" for the roles! I tried telling her Thames wasn't needed, but she said she was actually thinking of the two of us when she wrote it!

Porn. She's making porn.

This isn't fair, I get stoned sometimes, yes, but I am NOT a stoner...

Your first point contradicts the second.

and in fact stoners really annoy me with the way they talk. Thames isn't one either, I think she's stereotyping him a bit because he's black.

Yes. Black is a huge stereotype for stoners. In bizzaro world.

Anyway, she kept insisting that me and Thames have to play the characters and asked me to call him and ask. I am conflicted. I was REALLY excited when she talked about her movie.

Porn.

It almost felt like destiny. I've been looking for something to do and acting could be it.

Not much need for acting in porn.

Really, it could be, the more I think about it the more excited I am about the possibilities.

Being "excited" is helpful when doing porn.

But...Thames. I'd have to work with Thames. I have been doing really well not thinking about him for the last few days, but if I was near him again...the confusion would all come back.

Also the porn will make things more difficult.

I don't know what to do. Also that Twitter bird over on the right is REALLY annoying.

First sane, reasonable, and true thing you have ever said.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

First, I thought it was gonna be "Brokeback Baggins."

Now, it looks like we're gonna get "Reefer MadBaggins."

Or maybe we'll get some of both.

I don't know. But if the season finale isn't a cliffhanger with Alicia, her girlfriend, MadBaggins, and Thames all having sex on camera, I won't be back next year.

 

[SinglePurpose]

I don't know. But if the season finale isn't a cliffhanger with Alicia, her girlfriend, MadBaggins, and Thames all having sex on camera, I won't be back next year.

Didn't we have the orgy ending last season? I want something new. Maybe MadBaggins could profess his love for Thames and right before they're about to do it Alicia comes out in a jealous rage and kills Thames with a bowling ball.