It's pretty sad that the funniest thing about this season so far for me was your shiny shoe comment.
and 
at the same time.
I think I'm in love with my best friend!
- Thread starter MadBaggins
- Start date
It's pretty sad that the funniest thing about this season so far for me was your shiny shoe comment.
and at the same time.So, Thames and I went out yesterday. Not on a date, of course (you know if we were to ever want to get together I think we could just totally skip the dating period since we know each other so well and go right to the sex. Not that we ever will), we just walked around town together to see what was happening. This used to be my town, I knew it so well, but I've been having some problems since I got back from our trip (as you all know) so I felt like an alien at first. But I started to get back into the groove of things.
We went to the coffee shop and had hot choclate. There were girls there. Nice, student type girls, mostly with glasses on. They were quite attractive. A year ago I would have strolled right over to them confidently, sat down and talked. I used to be so good with girls. It came easy to me, just being able to talk to girls like they're just any other human being and showing my interest in them in subtle ways. I'm not boasting but I've honestly lost count of the number of girls I've had sexual contact with (I'm including mild stuff like kissing and blowjobs here...if it's just sex then it's...four girls, I think.)
I could see Thames looking over too and he gave me that old look he used to give me when he was my wingman as if to say "yes, we're going to go over and talk to those girls." I was pleased, he was completely ignoring the fact that he's supposed to be dating Tubbs. I had been stopping myself from saying anything negatvie about her to him since our meeting in the park, but secretly I thought that all the things I'd said in the past had collected inside his mind and lived there and festered and rolled together into a big ball until it had finally rollen over the love he THOUGHT he had for her and made him come to his senses.
We went over and...it was a disaster. I suddenly felt panic in my throat and stomach and right down to my toes. I felt like I was in my room again when I didn't want to go out. I said NOTHING to the girls. Thames did all the talking and, while Thames is a good looking guy, he does NOT have a lot of topics of conversation. I sat there clutching myself in panic under the table as he began talking about Ultimate Fighting and Batman with the girls. You don't talk about those things with girls!
I could see one of them looking over at me from behind her glasses, a look which said "help me, talk about something normal!" In the old days I would have. I would have been able to fake it, at least, just for a little while, to impress the girl. Maybe days or hours later I wouldn't be able to keep it up anymore and we'd drift apart, but at least initially I'd fake it. But as this girl stared at me for minute after minute (and she was the prettiest at the table, she looked a bit like Boomer from BSG only she wasn't asian) I just coulnd't get any words out. Finally the girls made some excuse and left. Boomer gave one last look back over her shoulder which I'm sure was meant for me. I managed to shrug an apology with my shoulders.
Thames asked what had happened so I lied and said I didn't think they were hot. He said "what, are you gay or something?" and then there was a long awkward silence as he remembered my admission of sex thoughts about him. I asked why he was talking to other girls anyway and if Food Fan would be angry. He said she's cool with him flirting with other girls and he's cool with her flirting with other guys. Grr! What a set up! Me made me angry! Grr. I wanted to say "she's more likely to be flirting with CAKES!" but I'd told him about Cakes from this board so it might have confused him (I meant the food.)
We went to the coffee shop and had hot choclate. There were girls there. Nice, student type girls, mostly with glasses on. They were quite attractive. A year ago I would have strolled right over to them confidently, sat down and talked. I used to be so good with girls. It came easy to me, just being able to talk to girls like they're just any other human being and showing my interest in them in subtle ways. I'm not boasting but I've honestly lost count of the number of girls I've had sexual contact with (I'm including mild stuff like kissing and blowjobs here...if it's just sex then it's...four girls, I think.)
I could see Thames looking over too and he gave me that old look he used to give me when he was my wingman as if to say "yes, we're going to go over and talk to those girls." I was pleased, he was completely ignoring the fact that he's supposed to be dating Tubbs. I had been stopping myself from saying anything negatvie about her to him since our meeting in the park, but secretly I thought that all the things I'd said in the past had collected inside his mind and lived there and festered and rolled together into a big ball until it had finally rollen over the love he THOUGHT he had for her and made him come to his senses.
We went over and...it was a disaster. I suddenly felt panic in my throat and stomach and right down to my toes. I felt like I was in my room again when I didn't want to go out. I said NOTHING to the girls. Thames did all the talking and, while Thames is a good looking guy, he does NOT have a lot of topics of conversation. I sat there clutching myself in panic under the table as he began talking about Ultimate Fighting and Batman with the girls. You don't talk about those things with girls!
I could see one of them looking over at me from behind her glasses, a look which said "help me, talk about something normal!" In the old days I would have. I would have been able to fake it, at least, just for a little while, to impress the girl. Maybe days or hours later I wouldn't be able to keep it up anymore and we'd drift apart, but at least initially I'd fake it. But as this girl stared at me for minute after minute (and she was the prettiest at the table, she looked a bit like Boomer from BSG only she wasn't asian) I just coulnd't get any words out. Finally the girls made some excuse and left. Boomer gave one last look back over her shoulder which I'm sure was meant for me. I managed to shrug an apology with my shoulders.
Thames asked what had happened so I lied and said I didn't think they were hot. He said "what, are you gay or something?" and then there was a long awkward silence as he remembered my admission of sex thoughts about him. I asked why he was talking to other girls anyway and if Food Fan would be angry. He said she's cool with him flirting with other girls and he's cool with her flirting with other guys. Grr! What a set up! Me made me angry! Grr. I wanted to say "she's more likely to be flirting with CAKES!" but I'd told him about Cakes from this board so it might have confused him (I meant the food.)
Fail.
Finally, we get to the good stuff.
Goddammit!
God, this whole season is just one prolonged tease.
I wouldn't trust you to run a town in SimCity.
And I'm sure the local authorities knew you quite well, too, Mr. Public Nudity Stalker Creep.
Oh, that's an understatement.
Are we foreshadowing something here?
If only that was a sexual reference.
Is it already winter in BagginsWorld?
In other words, completely uninterested in you.
Only if you found out you were related to them.
Especially the mildly retarded cousin kind.
Yes, I'm sure flashing your penis works wonders as an introduction.
I think it's a stretch to call kissing "sexual contact," bro. But, whatever makes you feel like more of a stud.
Yes, it's so nice to hear he has just as much moral integrity as you do.
Or he's just tired of you stalking him. Could be that one. Maybe he thinks you'll stop if he's no longer dating the "FOOD MACHINE".
Ah, a familiar sensation for you, then.
I'm sure you could just feel the felonies racking up.
Well, that's absurd! He likes to talk about wrestling, and... and... cruising for pussy! And also... um... well...
Isn't Batman how you got into Batgirl's pants?
We're doomed! DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
I'm sorry, I'm distracted by phrases like "fake it" and "keep it up".
How the Christ does that work?
Yeah, that's probably for the best, in your case. The less you say, the smarter you seem.
Excellent. We need to get these distractions out of the way so the Thames storyline can continue.
That is NOT the way to prove your ultraheteroness, my friend.
WE HAVE A WINNER! DING DING DING!
God, is he thick or what?
Wait, what? Is this a two-parter? It just fucking ended, and I didn't even see a "TO BE CONTINUED..." followed by ominous fanfare.
I agree with sidious. FAIL! FAIL FAIL FAIL!
It seems to me that MB is pushing the audience participation idea forward this season what with the number of cakes references. It's not helping the ratings, though.
So what's your excuse for skipping right to the sex with people you don't know, and who don't have penises?
MB, I'm really starting to think that you have some canine ancestry. When you;re away from a place or person for more than a day, you seem to get confused and defensive. This could also explain your need to stick your penis into everything that moves.
You should be receiving a communique from the mother ship any day now.
And look how far that got you in life...
[joe wilson] YOU LIE! [/joe wilson]
Like sticking your penis in them.
And what, two guys?
I'm surprised that Thames can utter a full sentence without adding "let's get some pussy, yo" into it at inappropriate times.
Honestly, I think I liked the character better when her name was THAT FOOD MACHINE
I take it this was a bad idea.
How many times did he need to look at his shoes to carry on this conversation?
Don't masturbate in public. It's icky.
Wait...isn't that how you got the first 2 girls to fuck you?
She obviously doesn't know that you have a very loose grasp of 'normal'.
Wait for it...
Are you sure that he wasn't just distracted by a spoon, or something. There's no way that Thames is capable of such deep thought.
HUUULLLKKK SMASHHH!!!!
An okay episode, overall. Not useless exposition, like the last one, but no where up sot the standard of seasons one and three.
Do we have a subtle admission? Squiggy is always point not non-US English so maybe you are an alien...not the green skinned type but the illegal type, though I guess creatures from outer space would also be illegal aliens if they didn't have some sort of visa.
Of course they were as only people who study would need glasses. I'd like to visit MB's town, not to see him but it does seem that all the girls are always hot.
Only four? I thought you were getting pussy on a tap when you were in the van? Was someone telling porkies about their sexual conquests?
Sorry there is one unattractive girl in town. Still the hotness to notness ratio is very good.
Probably due to some sort of empathic projection from the girls.
Yes, there are many things that one cannot discuss in the presence of the fairer sex. Cooking and knitting only, please chaps.
She was probably concerned with why you were sitting quietly death gripping the table. I know some women say they like the "strong silent type" but there is a thin line between that and mute table-groper.
Also forgot to mention above that this town also seems to be populated by twins of female movie stars. If you see a Keira Knightley there tell me. Seriously, tell me.
Probably the old "checking to make sure the creepy guys aren't stalking us out of the cafe" look.
Why does that make you angry? It can't be because you don't believe in open relationships given all of yours you have recounted here you've treated them as open by constantly cheating on your partner with more often than not your cousin.
With wit like that...I don't know what to say actually.
Only to find out later that they're related or will he do it because he finds out they're related?
Awww. Our little MB is growing up!
Oh.
Yep. Dating isn't about the dating it's about the sex.
Dude, it's not like you lived in some second-world country for 18 months. You were in freakin' Decatur and gone for all of 6 weeks. Get over it.
Way to not look gay.
Another surprising cliche.
Unfortuantly you're not related to them.
There's astounding evidence to the contrary.
It's been two. Two. Maybe three. If we discount the one's who were under-aged or you were related to we somehow end up in negative numbers.
Again with the fat jokes.
Oh, Mad Baggins, don't ever change! Stay closed minded and unsupportive of your friend's choices in life!
Business as usual then.
Unlike you who has neither looks nor things to talk about.
Ew.
How soon we forget about Batgirl.
LDG, this one goes out to you!
Of course she was.
This plot thread is going no where, isn't it! This makes Trekker ANGRY!!!
Awkward!
"Food Fan." Ok, that's kind of funny.
Speaking of confused.
Oh! you pretty things,
don't you know you're driving your Mama's and Papa's insane,
let me say it again,
got to make way for the Homo Superior...
don't you know you're driving your Mama's and Papa's insane,
let me say it again,
got to make way for the Homo Superior...
Welcome to the 'Spock's Brain' episode of this season.
(thought someone would have made that joke by now!)
That was the 'Spock's Brain' episode of this season. We should never speak of it again.
Not at all gay.
Madonna? Is that you?
Maybe he can line up Crockett for you.
(thought someone would have made that joke by now!)
Way to creepily think about placing destructive thoughts in your friend's head. Creepy.
Boy, she REALLY doesn't know you!
What? What?!
Better than shrugging with your feet, my mother always said.
"Grr"? Really? "Grr"?
That was the 'Spock's Brain' episode of this season. We should never speak of it again.
I love it when people say they lose count of something only to immediately state that number and have it to be unimpressive.
"I've honestly lost count of how many times I've met Neil Armstrong. Once."
Tim is the shittiest wingman in all of human history. Look at what you've fucked. Your cousin, a coke-head mother of two, a minor...and I can only assume the 4th is a farm animal of some sort.
THERE'S a shock. A retard and a basket case having hot chocolate during the summer and it didn't go well.
Ironically, you didn't feel this in your head...which is your most fucked up area.
You should've stone cold stunned him (season 1) or talked about Batman (season 2). Hell. You should've just lied to them and said you were a professional wrestler (2 weeks ago)...oh wise and knowledgeable sage of women.
Yes. Because when some douchebag walks up and starts talking to girls like they're 11 year old boys, the girl turns to the douchebag's friend for a way out. Totally believable.
If you can't hold a girl's intrest for more than a couple of hours...you have failed and you've faked nothing. Well done.
I guess that means "She had black hair". You suck at describing people. You remind me of this one guy who looked like MLK, but he wasn't black.
Yeah. I'm sure you impressed her. The only thing that you could've done to impress her more would be to shit yourself and then yell at a dog since she's into the whole "mental friend of retarded douchbags".
As compared to shrugging with other parts. Thanks for the clarification.
This shows how stupid this character is. When was your admission? Friday? Who the hell would forget that his best friend not only came out of the closet, but also said that he wants to fuck him?
Good thing you're telling him about Cakes. I can't wait for next season.
I nominate trekker4747 to play the part of Cakes.
Other way around, slick.
My point stands!Other way around, slick.
Similar threads
