I wouldn't wish him on any prison I'm familiar with.
I think I need a transfer...
- Thread starter Trekker4747
- Start date
I wouldn't wish him on any prison I'm familiar with.
Considering that these woe-are-me threads have gone from eye-rollingly annoying to now misogynistic I'd say it's time for a blog. Or a journal. Maybe one that no one will ever see so that you don't need to backtrack after staying stupid things.
ed629
Rear Admiral
Says who? Were you told this, or is this what you tell yourself?
Tell this to your boss when you're asked the reason for why you want a transfer. Not only will you not be transferred, the reason will be seen as unprofessional and, if the problem persists, you could be released from your position.
At which point, in today's economy and job market, you'll have legitimate cause to begin a "woe-is me" thread.
Actually if I want a transfer all I pretty much have to do is tell my boss I'm putting in for another store and then do it.
Funny, I was thinking the same thing.
Moving into a tagent because I'm curious about the process now. It's been eight years since I worked in a store.
What if your position is already filled or there are no equivalent positions at your level? Do they move you up or down or do they have you wait until the next round of musical chairs?
Sure, you might be physiologically incapable of turning into mr. universe. But you are complaining about your looks and the suggestions are not to embark on a program to become that. Everyone can up their looks just enough to feel a little better about themselves. Some regular exercise, not focussed on body building but just improving health, a nice hair cut, throw out bad clothes and replace with something more fashionable. None of this is hard except the exercise but even that you start off small. Find something you can do daily and do it.
Really plenty of women don't care if you're scrawny or a bit pudgy but everyone bleeps out the person who exudes a loser vibe. The vibe has nothing to do with not being "cut".
You've got to do the building up yourself. If you didn't get it genetically or from your upbringing it's all up to you. Find something you love and throw yourself into it, find a place in a subculture or a fandom. You will be building up yourself by making a place in the world for yourself.
If what you are doing RIGHT NOW is not working you HAVE to try something else. Just doing stuff for yourself, to improve your life in some way will help you. I think you may be too focused on the endgame, thinking "how is a haircut going to get me a woman". Since X doesn't immediately lead to a woman you reject it. Think of yourself as a long term project. Give yourself a year of changes to your life and see what happens.
So forget about her, or just compartmentalize her into movie star zone. You can be attracted to movie stars and never think they will return it. If she's as confident as she sounds she would probably would have given you a clear sign by now if she was interested.
And if you can't be assed making changes to your life then stop complaining.
HA HA HA HA...you REALLY think so? Women are much more judged on their looks than men ever are. Oh, if I had money for all the horrible things I've heard from men in my time and for my rejections back when I was single. (Doesn't mean I hate men, au contraire, most are great. You just run into a few bad ones every now and then.)
And yes, most women CAN get male attention - but frankly, it's in the "want to fuck me?" category. It's just as hard for some women to find a decent man as for a man to find a decent woman. And it gets really old being pursued so some man can get laid, without the man caring about the actual woman and not just her vagina.
As to your issues:
- Changing jobs will do nothing. Because you can't run away from yourself and the problems will continue until you fix yourself.
- Women won't be attracted to you as you are emotionally because you don't like yourself. It may not make sense, but you have to like yourself before anyone else will.
If you have no confidence in yourself, neither will someone else.
Quite bitching and moaning and get off your ass and DO something about it. You know your own flaws, work on them, one at a time. Get involved in stuff that makes you happy/gives you pleasure and just FORGET about women. If you are happy and confident in yourself, that should come in time. And if for some reason it still doesn't, you'll be occupied and not brooding over it.
These remarks are so profoundly ignorant and ridiculous they don't deserve any other response.
Having said that, you might like to read what Bonz and others have said on the subject of women "just having to show up" - though whether you'll take in what they've said is questionable. You do have a tendency to ignore views that don't gel with yours in these matters.
I hadn't realised we'd been returned to the 50s. Why don't people tell me these things?
The reason "girls aren't coming [your] way" is, as others have pointed out on numerous occasions, you and your attitude. Relentless negativity and self-indulgent whining isn't attractive in anyone, man or woman. If you project those attitudes as strongly in "real" life as you do around here, it's no wonder women don't "come your way".
Indeed. Good to see you acknowledged that (and backtracked on some of your other ridiculous comments as well).
You start so many threads along these lines, Trekker. People tell you the same things. You ignore them. You wait a while and start another thread whining about how your life sucks and women don't want anything to do with you, and you again ignore all the constructive advice you're given.
Nothing's going to change until you do. It really is that simple, and that difficult. No doubt you'll respond with another chorus of "it's easier to say than to do", which is perfectly true (and I reckon just about everyone here will recognise that). But it's still a fact and no amount of complaining will change it. Try putting some of the effort into changing that you put into complaining. That alone will make you feel better about yourself.
No, I pretty much have to keep my eye out for an opening, put in for it, interview and then get it. So it's not so much a "transfer" as it is "applying for another job" it'd be a lateral move. On that topic, my boss is an insufferable micro-managing ass. At least once a week I here complaints about lightbulbs being out in my department. One four florescent-tube fixture of the like 30 that are in my department so it's hardly noticeable and doesn't effect the lighting at all. But once a week I hear him say "Man! How can you see back there?! Why don't you replace those lightbulbs?"
And every week I tell him the fixture is broken and simply doesn't work. (I think the ballast is out in it.)
That's probably one of the "least" annoying things with him, the bigger ones is cutting back on the hours I can schedule which right now is barely what I need to effectively run the shop, meaning I'm spending more time out in the shop or on the floor doing work I should have employees doing and less time in the office keeping up with the book-work which I'm about three weeks behind on doing.
You seem to be assuming that those of us offering you advice have been brimming over with confidence our entire lives and find it easy to make the kinds of changes we're suggesting. Consider the possibility that at least some of us are speaking from experience -- that we started out as insecure and depressed as you but found our way out of it through hard work.
So this woman is friendlier and more talkative some days than others. Okay. Sounds human to me. I believe you just commented that your own mood had changed drastically from one day to the next. I suspect the reason you're confused is that you think all her variations have something to do with you personally. They probably don't.
Makes sense. But then we get into the interview and that takes me back to my original point.
I've worked at various places over the past 15 years and was interviewed at many more. I don't know how it would be in your store but one of the questions I'm almost always asked is some variation of "Why are you interested in working here?"
It's a standard interview question. Even if you're not asked, you should have an answer.
Something like this, for instance, wouldn't work because it would be interpreted as speaking negatively about your boss because they'll think one day you'll speak negatively about them during a future interview.
So you have to have some sort of official reason for why you want to transfer that sounds positive. If you're asked.
I do have to agree with one thing...as much as we think we've moved away from it most women still want men to make the first move, and often judge men harshly if they don't do so. Most women who feel they are desirable feel they shouldn't have to do anything to get attention, this is something I've genuinely seen a lot of.
RAMA
RAMA
I wasn't going to point it out but, uh, a lot of what Trekker said earlier in the thread is disturbingly similar to what convicted rapists have to say about women.
Perhaps part of the reason why men or some men don't approach these ladies, is they think that they are already in a relationship with someone.
This is true, and something seen more often now thanks to "male" magazines such as Esquire or Playboy whose articles are written in ways not dissimilar to how convicted sex offenders speak. This isn't my opinion, mind you, it's actually been researched. As Trekker seems to be getting his info from anything but personal experience it is not overly surprising that he posts what he does.
Yup.
