I Need Some Dating Advice
- Thread starter Admiral Shran
- Start date
J
Jetfire
Guest
Don't try to be a great man...just be a man. 
that's rhetorical nonsense. who said that?Don't try to be a great man...just be a man.
J
Jetfire
Guest
YOU DID! 
J
Jetfire
Guest
Okay I should have said...
You did. Ten years from now. I love that movie!
As for Shran If you want something bad enough...put all you got into making it happen.
You did. Ten years from now. I love that movie!
As for Shran If you want something bad enough...put all you got into making it happen.
If you already accepted it, why are you still whining about it?
I haven't done it. At this point I'm probably just going to move on and attempt to get another woman's number.
Interestingly, a lot of her co-workers (all of whom I've flirted with in the past) now suddenly seem interested in me. They're always finding reasons to talk to me, constantly calling me by name and giving off non-verbal signs of interest (like fidgeting and hair-twirling).
Possibilities.
Interestingly, a lot of her co-workers (all of whom I've flirted with in the past) now suddenly seem interested in me. They're always finding reasons to talk to me, constantly calling me by name and giving off non-verbal signs of interest (like fidgeting and hair-twirling).
Possibilities.
Accepting something and liking it are different things.
I haven't done it. At this point I'm probably just going to move on and attempt to get another woman's number.
Interestingly, a lot of her co-workers (all of whom I've flirted with in the past) now suddenly seem interested in me. They're always finding reasons to talk to me, constantly calling me by name and giving off non-verbal signs of interest (like fidgeting and hair-twirling).
Possibilities.
Please don't do that. If she showed interest, you owe it to her. I imagine that I'd feel pretty awful about myself if I gave a guy my number and he never called me but then started dating one of my co-workers.
If I was into dating guys, of course.
What I'm saying is that you've been thinking about this from your own perspective, how much it means to you. Think about it from her perspective. You can make her feel better by calling her and asking her out. Be the nice guy who cares about other people here, and give her a call. Today.
I know you've had trouble with family members not being supportive, but please find someone, anyone, who can sit down with you while you dial (or dial for you). Today.
I haven't done it. At this point I'm probably just going to move on and attempt to get another woman's number.
Interestingly, a lot of her co-workers (all of whom I've flirted with in the past) now suddenly seem interested in me. They're always finding reasons to talk to me, constantly calling me by name and giving off non-verbal signs of interest (like fidgeting and hair-twirling).
Possibilities.
Well this is great, but if you can't pull the trigger with one, then you'll have that issue with all of them and word will get around.
Just screw up your courage and do something about it before none of them are interest in you. It's a frightening minute while you're dialing the phone, but that is the worst part by far.
For some reason the Steve Winwood song "While You See a Chance" is going through my head... Take your chance dude.
If you can't call her, then text her.
I haven't done it. At this point I'm probably just going to move on and attempt to get another woman's number.
Interestingly, a lot of her co-workers (all of whom I've flirted with in the past) now suddenly seem interested in me. They're always finding reasons to talk to me, constantly calling me by name and giving off non-verbal signs of interest (like fidgeting and hair-twirling).
Possibilities.
DON'T!
Ask out that first girl!
All you are doing here is chickening out, and telling yourself that you'll get it right next time. Of course, next time comes and you'll just chicken out again. The only reason you feel okay about it is because you are thinking about the possibility of what might happen, not the reality.
GO AND ASK HER OUT. Just as friends if you want, so you don't have to be worried about rejection. But you need to grab every opportunity that you can!
The problem with this attitude is that you're pre-supposing that she's into the kind of guys that are better looking and more confident.
Some people are into muscle-bound men with forests of chest hair. Some people are into the type of man who looks like he would snap in two and blow away in the slightest breeze. Some people are into tall men, others into short men. Some like facial hair, some won't touch a guy with facial hair with a ten-foot pole. Some like guys who are the same age as they are, others like them younger, some like them older.
My point is: not everyone is interested in the same sort of man. Maybe she's turned these "better looking" guys down because they're not her type. You could be what she's looking for. But if you don't take a chance, you'll never know.
As for you, Admiral Shran, the only acceptable reason (IMO, of course) for not phoning someone who's given you their phone number is if you weren't interested to begin with and they didn't pick up on that, and you accepted the number from them just to be polite. That's clearly not the case here. If she wasn't interested in you, she wouldn't have given you her number in the first place. So phone her, already.
I don't understand this whole notion of having to build up courage to ask a woman out.
I mean, if she's a good friend and you've got a lot invested, sure, I can understand not wanting to screw that up. On the other hand, if she's truly a good friend, she won't turn into a raging hellbeast just because you asked her out.
And if it's a woman you have little or no relationship with anyway, well, what do you have to lose?
"Hey, you wanna meet up for coffee sometime?" It's not a lot of words, and if you can just walk up to her and get them out, you'll get some kind of answer.
If I can do it, anyone can do it. You can also meet people online if you're not so good at breaking the ice in person. Then you can try to get over that initial awkwardness before you've actually met face-to-face (but don't wait too long to do that, either.)
I'd venture to say experiencing such crippling fear about asking people out is not healthy and is probably impacting other areas of your life. I know Trekker's going to therapy and all, but anyone who is in the same boat should probably be doing something similar, too. You miss out on too much in life by being afraid of rejection.
I mean, if she's a good friend and you've got a lot invested, sure, I can understand not wanting to screw that up. On the other hand, if she's truly a good friend, she won't turn into a raging hellbeast just because you asked her out.
And if it's a woman you have little or no relationship with anyway, well, what do you have to lose?
"Hey, you wanna meet up for coffee sometime?" It's not a lot of words, and if you can just walk up to her and get them out, you'll get some kind of answer.
If I can do it, anyone can do it. You can also meet people online if you're not so good at breaking the ice in person. Then you can try to get over that initial awkwardness before you've actually met face-to-face (but don't wait too long to do that, either.)
I'd venture to say experiencing such crippling fear about asking people out is not healthy and is probably impacting other areas of your life. I know Trekker's going to therapy and all, but anyone who is in the same boat should probably be doing something similar, too. You miss out on too much in life by being afraid of rejection.
^I think it just gets built up in the mind, I used to have the same problem, still do to some extent. And it's totally illogical but it is hard to overcome at first. The more you do it the easier it gets. The first time I actually forced myself to ask someone out she said no because she had a bf (which I didn't know at the time), and when she said no it wasn't a big deal. Which surprised me.
And once you do it once you kinda get the hang of it. I think most people do actually want to go on dates and find someone, and they're actually open to it. After a long barren spell I had a load of dates in the last 6 months, most of them didn't work out but they were still fun and it was nice to meet new people. And it helped me work on my social skills.
And I agree with the posters above, gotta think of it from her perspective.
And once you do it once you kinda get the hang of it. I think most people do actually want to go on dates and find someone, and they're actually open to it. After a long barren spell I had a load of dates in the last 6 months, most of them didn't work out but they were still fun and it was nice to meet new people. And it helped me work on my social skills.
And I agree with the posters above, gotta think of it from her perspective.
Thing is, for me, just doing it IS a big deal. Saying to just do it is like telling someone to write with their other hand, "Other people write with that hand, why can't you?" I just don't have the power or confidence to do that after being conditioned that I'm not worthy over a long time. As for "the worst she can is 'no'." Exactly that's the whole of the other half of it.
