I Need Some Dating Advice

[Balrog]

Shran, nobody is good enough for anybody. That's the truth.

Go on a date with the intentions of just having a good time. If she does too, then that's a bonus. I think you are putting too much thought and worry about making her sure you're the one for her. Dude, there's a better chance than not she's not the one for you. Put all that shit out of your mind and just have fun being yourself. If she digs you and you dig her, there'll be a second date. If not, no harm. She wasn't the one for you. Move on.

In the meantime, be cool. And don't let yourself over think yourself out of a fun time.

 

[JarodRussell]

And disturbingly enough... why the hell do you say it didn't go well? You got her number. That's a successful achievement right there. Not every date ends with getting her number.

Now use that chance and call her!

 

[smiki]

So, did you call her? Text her, call her. Do it!

Do IT!

 

[Lumi]

I've always thought bowling was a good choice for a first date, especially if you don't know the person too well... just because it's an easy way to loosen up. Dim lighting, too.

If he/she hates bowling, I don't know.

 

[JarodRussell]

Any activity that has you not sitting around staring at each other is good. Even taking a walk.

Or go to a bar, and if it starts to get awkward, take a walk to the next bar. Works.

 

[Kirby]

I've literally sat in front the phone every day for about the last week and a half trying my damnedest to work up the courage to call her. I simply can't do it, try as I might.

Man, I've been there, but you have to power through that.
Since it's been so long since she gave you her number, you now have the perfect opportunity to play it casual. You've keep meaning to call her, but you've been busy at work (or come up with something more interesting). This gives you an open door to propose something casual like coffee or a drink.
You're money baby, now work those digits!

 

[doubleohfive]

I feel like this same thing happened to Trekker a few years ago. If I'm not mistaken, he too had an opportunity to ask a girl out and never did. By the time he finally spoke to her again, she'd met someone else.

Lesson of the story: Don't wait too long.

 

[Trekker4747]

It's happened to me a couple of times, and it's my own fault. But, at the same time, I just don't have the nerve, courage or confidence to do it. There's a co-worker now I just pine after but I cannot bring myself to ask her out. Other men much better looking and viable date material than I have tried and been show down, pretty much meaning I'd have to be seen as an Adonis to pull it off.

Anyway, it sucks and I'm trying to come to terms with the idea I will never know love, passion, or sex again.

 

[JarodRussell]

Other men much better looking and viable date material than I have tried and been show down, pretty much meaning I'd have to be seen as an Adonis to pull it off.

Oh my... ask her out, damnit.

 

[Scout101]

Never get the urge to GUARANTEE a loss, when you can at least roll the dice and take your 10% shot first. Now you've lost AND you get to beat yourself up for not having the balls to even try. Win?

 

[doubleohfive]

It's happened to me a couple of times, and it's my own fault. But, at the same time, I just don't have the nerve, courage or confidence to do it. There's a co-worker now I just pine after but I cannot bring myself to ask her out. Other men much better looking and viable date material than I have tried and been show down, pretty much meaning I'd have to be seen as an Adonis to pull it off.

Anyway, it sucks and I'm trying to come to terms with the idea I will never know love, passion, or sex again.

Nonsense. I'm not going to indulge that last line of thinking either dude.

Throw on that bitchin' scarf, imagine you're Jude Law and ASK. HER. OUT.

Even if she says no, it isn't the end of the world.

Like my dad always says, "They can't say 'YES' if you don't ask!"

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Just work up barely enough courage to ask her out, and blurt it out. Once you can't back out, you'll find it a lot easier to go forward.

 

[Yoda]

Even if you make a complete ass out of yourself when you call her, at least next time the situation comes up you won't do quite as poorly. That's how practice works.

 

[Trekker4747]

Just work up barely enough courage to ask her out, and blurt it out. Once you can't back out, you'll find it a lot easier to go forward.

That's just it I don't have the courage.

 

[Balrog]

^Ask yourself this: What's the worst that's going to happen if she says No? The world's is going to keep spinning. Nobody died. But you took a shot, and that's not a bad thing at all.

What's the best that could happen if she says yes? You could have a great time with good company.

 

[Trekker4747]

I've been through all of this before, nor do I wish to make this thread about me and my continual problems. I've been told all of these things before and doesn't change the fact that I simply do not have the courage or ability to do it. I just don't. I want to, I deeply and powerfully want to, but I just can't. The biggest factor being I'm not confident that I'll get a positive experience from it. Other have tried asking her out and she's turned many down, men better looking, more confident and sure of themselves than me. I've no reason to believe I'd succeed.

I simply just don't have the ability to ask women out, I was born without that part of my brain that connects the thought to do so with the action of doing it. Instead something short-circuits and prevents it from happening. I've terminal cock-blockness.

 

[JarodRussell]

Geez. You realize that you're an expert of talking yourself into this crap? Ask her out, or I will kill a hostage every hour.

 

[Sho]

This is something you have to, and fortunately can, train; it gets a lot easier to talk to women with time, including handling rejection. And it does become a numbers game - if you put yourself out there enough, you are bound to succeed some time. I realize that sounds unromantic and appalling while you are preoccupied with the one, but true love is built between two people, it's not one pining after another, so don't claim false nobility for that constellation.

Basically:

• That you "just don't have it" is crap. That you haven't learned it yet or are out of shape at it may be the case, but is fixable. Starting to fix it can be as easy as making common social therapy exercises as saying hello to five random strangers in the street. It really gets easier very quickly.

• The "other available men are more viable" thing is actually arrogant in a way. Respect her enough to grant her the opportunity to make up her own mind about you, don't decide for her.

 

[Yoda]

If this chick has already shot down a bunch of 'better' dudes Trekker, then that should make rejection easier to take. You could even get your male bonding on by complaining to some of these other guys and calling her stuck-up, etc... So really win or lose, should be good for ya socially!

 

[Trekker4747]

This is something you have to, and fortunately can, train; it gets a lot easier to talk to women with time, including handling rejection. And it does become a numbers game - if you put yourself out there enough, you are bound to succeed some time. I realize that sounds unromantic and appalling while you are preoccupied with the one, but true love is built between two people, it's not one pining after another, so don't claim false nobility for that constellation.

Basically:

• That you "just don't have it" is crap. That you haven't learned it yet or are out of shape at it may be the case, but is fixable. Starting to fix it can be as easy as making common social therapy exercises as saying hello to five random strangers in the street. It really gets easier very quickly.

• The "other available men are more viable" thing is actually arrogant in a way. Respect her enough to grant her the opportunity to make up her own mind about you, don't decide for her.

Well, whatever. I know my situation, and I've given up.