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I lost my father, today

I'm so sorry, OdoWan. *** hugs ***

You're not crazy or cold or anything else along those lines. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, and yours was a particularly complicated situation. Do what works for you, and don't feel you have to conform to anyone's expectations.
 
My condolences, Odowan.

You are not crazy. not only does everyone grieve in different manners, oftentimes they grieve for different people in different ways. Don't worry about it.
 
When my grandmother died, I thought I was selfish because all I could think about was what I was going to do at work. I didn't know how to express my feelings. I was hoping I feel something...even now. But no! I get anxiety attack, but most of the time I was worrying about myself and I always wonder if that made me a very bad person. And I get even more depressed and anxious because of that. Now I realize not everyone goes about doing things the same...and because I don't like to talk about feelings; that's why I felt that way. After a while you just get use to holding it in... I'm actually quite shy in real life...not like on the net. And I can put a pretty deep dent in your face quite easily.
 
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My condolences on your loss Odowan. My father passed away about a year ago, so I experienced the same odd feelings not long ago. It sucks, there is no right or wrong, you just deal with it until it passes.

For me, it came while on a boat ride in Florida while staring at a sea turtle. I just suddenly realized I was ok with things 3 months after the fact. You'll get to that point one day, just hang in there until then.
 
Yeah, sorry for your loss, OWK. I lost my Mum in 2008. That was a long tough time.

Here's the thing. You fought a lot, but you still loved him, and chances are pretty high he loved you. You had a connection, and one day the... understanding you had will come to you. It's taken me this long to grasp some of the things my parents have done for me.

It'll be okay. You're a good person, you'll see it through.
 
So sorry for your loss. It's been just under two years since hubby died. Grief is unique to each as each is unique. Zen hugs, thoughts and prayers to you and yours at this sad time.
 
Here's the thing. You fought a lot, but you still loved him, and chances are pretty high he loved you. You had a connection, and one day the... understanding you had will come to you.

I have to admit that I've been wrestling with this part the last couple of weeks while my Dad has been in ICU battling pneumonia. Don't know if I will feel differently when he does pass, but I'm coming away from this with more of a grasp on that understanding.
 
It's odd. Today I feel completely different. The shock has worn off, I think. I understand. My father is gone. Maybe it's the fact that our relationship was rocky, but I don't feel like sitting around and brooding about it will help anything. He's gone. I've said goodbye. I think perhaps I said it the moment that I saw him lying there on the bed. It's something that I'll remember until the day I die, too. What's left now is to bring his body to its final resting place, and then begin life without him. The road won't be easy, but it's one I have to tackle, and am ready to tackle. I know he loved me. I know, even when we were at each others' throats that he was saying the things that he said because he loved me. He just didn't know how to express it. He was not an open-minded man, nor a particularly compassionate one. He was the way he was, and he couldn't help that. I know he loved me, and I forgive him.
 
I'm sorry for your loss, Odo.

It is good to see that you are feeling a sense of closure about it, and I hope your family will be able to cope with this tragic event as well.
 
I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

Have some idea of how you must feel and, believe me, it really does get easier with time. Just keep your friends close.
 
I am sorry to hear of your loss Odowan. This is a day that everybody has to face sooner or later. My own father died two years ago to the week (the night before Thanksgiving). Be prepared for a busy month.
 
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