I lost my father, today

[OdoWanKenobi]

He apparently passed away peacefully some time last night. My mother found him this morning when she came home from work. He'd been having kidney issues, and heart issues and had surgery a couple of weeks ago. But he was home, and he was recovering, and then....

Everything is just a mess in my head right now. My father and I never had a relationship that would be described as close. We fought, we argued, we were about as dissimilar as two people could be. He was still my father though. I still loved him, even if most of the time I felt like I hated him.

I'm not able to articulate well right now. I'm not feeling sad so much for myself, as I said, our relationship was far from perfect. My family is broken, though. The best I guess I can do is be here, and be with my family. It's just so much to take in, and still barely feels real.

 

[An Officer]

Condolences. I hope your family get through.

 

[doubleohfive]

Odowan, my sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family. A man's relationship with his father (and similarly, a man's relationship with his son) can, sometimes, be a very complicated thing. Don't beat yourself up for feeling conflicting feelings right now; we're all here for you.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

My condolences to you and your family.

 

[Kira's Mom]

I'm so sorry, Odowan.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

My condolences, Odo.

 

[Amaris]

My condolences to you and your family, OdoWanKenobi, and may he rest in peace.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

You have my condolences.

 

[RyanKCR]

My prayers and condolences. I can empathize with you. I just lost my mother a few weeks ago.

 

[OdoWanKenobi]

Thanks everyone.

I don't know. I don't feel like crying. I don't want to sit around and wallow. I want to go out. I want to do things. I had some plans with friend on Saturday, and I still feel like I want to keep them if I can. No, that I NEED to keep them. I need to maintain some semblance of normalcy in my life, and be with someone that cares about me, but isn't in mourning, too. Am I crazy? Am I cold? I can't help but feel the way I feel.

 

[Misfit Toy]

There's no "right" way to feel. Everyone grieves in their own way. Don't worry about that.

 

[Balrog]

All those feelings are legit, Odo. Keep your plans with your friends if you feel it will help and give yourself all the time you need to get through this time. My condolences.

 

[Maurice]

Odowan: I lost both my parents (my dad in 2000 and my mom in 2007), so I know what that's like.

Everyone reacts differently to things like this. Some people fall apart and cry, others just are kinda numb to it. There's no RIGHT way to grieve, and don't let people tell you otherwise. I heard my mom died as I was coming out of a movie with friends, and even though those friends didn't want to leave me alone, I bid them good night and went to another friend's place, where we just sat and drank scotch. I was sorta numb, and all I needed right then was a friend to be there, even if we didn't talk about it. Just keep yourself in comfortable surroundings and keep good friends around who will prop you up if you need it, but who'll leave you be if you don't.

Maurice

 

[Robert D. Robot]

Everyone does not walk the trail through loss the same. If you are like me, you will go through moments when you need to be alone and then will also have times when you really need to be around friends to give you support and reassurance. Don't feel bad about the way your feelings change from one moment to another as you move forward. You will get through the difficult feelings and sadness. Be kind to yourself. My thoughts are with you, Odowan.

 

[JRS]

I am very sorry for your loss
My deepest condolences to you and to your family.

 

[captcalhoun]

sorry for your loss.

 

[Holdfast]

My condolences. As one who many, many moons ago definitely appreciated the acknowledgement of loss that a thread like this offers on the loss of a parent, I hope you find the strength you need.

 

[RJDiogenes]

My condolences to you and your family, Odo. I know what it's like to lose a loved one. Several, in fact. Someday you will be able to look back on your memories and smile.

Don't second guess what you think you "should" or "shouldn't" be feeling or doing. Just let yourself heal naturally.

 

[Vulcan Princess]

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[auntiehill]

My deepest sympathy, Odo. There is no right or wrong way to feel at a time like this. Do whatever you feel you need to do, and know that we are always here if you need a safe place to vent.