How 'Tuvix' should have ended

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Voyager' started by Captain Jerk, May 7, 2022.

  1. Ogrebear

    Ogrebear Lieutenant Red Shirt

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  2. Farscape One

    Farscape One Vice Admiral Admiral

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    And he's right.
     
  3. at Quark's

    at Quark's Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Of course Tim Russ agrees.

    I mean, he'd have been out of his job had Janeway decided otherwise, wouldn't he ? ;)
     
  4. Oddish

    Oddish Admiral Admiral

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  5. Darth Thanos

    Darth Thanos Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    Seven of Nine: Perhaps we could reprogram some Borg nanoprobes...
    Janeway: Seven, you were not in the series when this happened! And also, really? Borg nanoprobes? That's the answer you have for everything! GET! NEW! MATERIAL!

    BUT THIS IS HOW IT REALLY SHOULD HAVE ENDED

    Janeway: I'm ordering you to come with me. Security to the Bridge.
    Tuvix: Commander, are you going to stand by and do nothing while she commits murder? Mister Ayala? Yes, Lieutenant Paris. You. Doesn't anyone see that this is wrong?
    Janeway: ...he's right. I'm so focused on bringing Tuvok and Neelix back, that I haven't given Tuvix's argument the proper weight. He is an individual, and he does deserve to live. But so do Tuvok and Neelix. We need to have the three of them.
    Chakotay: I can not see any solution to this dilemma.
    Janeway: But I can. Q!! Show yourself, Q!!
    Q: Oh, Kathie, you called me! You don't need to shout, you know. Hello, Paris, Hello, Chakotay, hello... ugh! What has happened here? Did you make a mess with your Vulcan and your Talaxian pet?
    Janeway: That's... one way to say it. We need them, but we need Tuvix as well.
    Q: But remember, I'm not a genie in a lamp, if you want this little favor... you know what I would want in exchange.
    Janeway: Very well. I'm the Captain, and I have to look after the well-being of my crew.
    Q: It's a deal, then. DEUS EX MACHINA!!

    (snaps his fingers)

    Superman: What the heck has just happened?
    Batman: It seems that we have been removed from the Super Cafe and brought into Quark's, the cafe of the Deep Space 9 station. What's up, Morn.
    Superman: Yes, I know, but why?
    Janeway: Because the writer of this nonsense likes Deep Space Nine too, and Q is a show-off, so...
    Quark: Q. You know, I don't mind you bringing weirdos from other universes to my bar, as long as you pay. And there are new Starfleet regulations, breaking the space and time continuum to have a drink cost 500 bars of latinum.
    Q: [sight] Here you have, little troll.
    Odo: I'm afraid there are no such regulations. I will have to confiscate this latinum, or Q can will it out of existence again. Either is fine for me.
    [Red alert. All senior officers to battle stations. Red alert. All senior officers to battle stations.]
    Superman: Should we do something?
    (teleporting in) Dukat: Surprise, surprise. None of you expected me to be back so soon with an army of 5,000 Jem'Hadar. But I am, and now... (Superman defeats the whole army in the blink of an eye)
    Weyoun: You are as disappointing as usual, Dukat. Perhaps the Founders should seek an alliance with the Pakleds instead...
    Superman: Can we go back to the Tuvix plot, please? I mean, what did Janeway do in exchange for that?

    ---------------------
    Janeway: Q, this was enough. Take me home, now.
    Q: But Kathie, I brought us to Earth in the XX century, we had a walk in the park, cinema, restaurant... I deserve a little kiss...
    Janeway: You deserve nothing! You froze the people in the park and would have forgotten to unfreeze them if I hadn't told you, you took us to see "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones", you ordered grilled dogs, you didn't tip the waiter... I promised you a date, but I never promised a kiss. Home. Now.
     
    Ogrebear and Oddish like this.
  6. DonIago

    DonIago Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^That escalated quickly...
     
  7. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    In the lap of squalor I assure you.
    It's really only a question of consent.

    1. Do Neelix and Tuvok want to be Tuvix?
    2. Are they they %100 aware of everything that is happening and cool with Tuvix's choices?
    3. Are they they %100 aware of everything that is happening and uncool with Tuvix's choices?
    4. Are they they %100 unaware of everything that is happening and cool with Tuvix taking the wheel while they nap?
    5. Are they they %100 unaware of everything that is happening and uncool with Tuvix taking the wheel while they nap?

    If they were cool with being Tuvix, then after the Doctor rescued Tuvok and Neelix, it would not have been difficult to arrange for a time share, but only so long as the same "Tuvix" kept being brought back, and it wasn't a completely new dude starting over from first principles every time, but then original baby steps Tuvix was on the ball enough to know up from down, so if they accidentally make a new Tuvix rather than bring back the old Tuvix, he should be immediately aware that either he lies through his teeth, or he dies, and if he allows Neelix and Tuvok out, that they will narc on him.

    And obviously...

    Tuvok went space Crazy at the end.

    Blending with any one willing to undergo the process, probably would have put his sanity into a period of stasis, saved his life, and Kathryn would have totally volunteered.
     
  8. Oddish

    Oddish Admiral Admiral

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    We need more HISHE's for episodes. Especially the ones with incredibly simple resolutions that avoid very complicated problems.