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how to feel old in 75 simple statements

Bloodwhiner

Commodore
Commodore
Today's have school freshman --


For these students, Martha Graham, Pan American Airways, Michael Landon, Dr. Seuss, Miles Davis, The Dallas Times Herald, Gene Roddenberry, and Freddie Mercury have always been dead.
Dan Rostenkowski, Jack Kevorkian, and Mike Tyson have always been felons.
The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not the big guy picking vegetables.
They have never used a card catalog to find a book.
Margaret Thatcher has always been a former prime minister.
Salsa has always outsold ketchup.
Earvin "Magic" Johnson has always been HIV-positive.
Tattoos have always been very chic and highly visible.
They have been preparing for the arrival of HDTV all their lives.
Rap music has always been main stream.
Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream has always been a flavor choice.
Someone has always been building something taller than the Willis (née Sears) Tower in Chicago.
The KGB has never officially existed.
Text has always been hyper.
They never saw the “Scud Stud” (but there have always been electromagnetic stud finders.)
Babies have always had a Social Security Number.
They have never had to “shake down” an oral thermometer.
Bungee jumping has always been socially acceptable.
They have never understood the meaning of R.S.V.P.
American students have always lived anxiously with high-stakes educational testing.
Except for the present incumbent, the President has never inhaled.
State abbreviations in addresses have never had periods.
The European Union has always existed.
McDonald's has always been serving Happy Meals in China.
Condoms have always been advertised on television.
Cable television systems have always offered telephone service and vice versa.
Christopher Columbus has always been getting a bad rap.
The American health care system has always been in critical condition.
Bobby Cox has always managed the Atlanta Braves.
Desperate smokers have always been able to turn to Nicoderm skin patches.
There has always been a Cartoon Network.
The nation’s key economic indicator has always been the Gross Domestic Product (GDP).
Their folks could always reach for a Zoloft.
They have always been able to read books on an electronic screen.
Women have always outnumbered men in college.
We have always watched wars, coups, and police arrests unfold on television in real time.
Amateur radio operators have never needed to know Morse code.
Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Latvia, Georgia, Lithuania, and Estonia have always been independent nations.
It's always been official: President Zachary Taylor did not die of arsenic poisoning.
Madonna’s perspective on Sex has always been well documented.
Phil Jackson has always been coaching championship basketball.
Ozzy Osbourne has always been coming back.
Kevin Costner has always been Dancing with Wolves, especially on cable.
There have always been flat screen televisions.
They have always eaten Berry Berry Kix.
Disney’s Fantasia has always been available on video, and It’s a Wonderful Life has always been on Moscow television.
Smokers have never been promoted as an economic force that deserves respect.
Elite American colleges have never been able to fix the price of tuition.
Nobody has been able to make a deposit in the Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI).
Everyone has always known what the evening news was before the Evening News came on.
Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.
They have never been Saved by the Bell
Someone has always been asking: “Was Iraq worth a war?”
Most communities have always had a mega-church.
Natalie Cole has always been singing with her father.
The status of gays in the military has always been a topic of political debate.
Elizabeth Taylor has always reeked of White Diamonds.
There has always been a Planet Hollywood.
For one reason or another, California’s future has always been in doubt.
Agent Starling has always feared the Silence of the Lambs.
“Womyn” and “waitperson” have always been in the dictionary.
Members of Congress have always had to keep their checkbooks balanced since the closing of the House Bank.
There has always been a computer in the Oval Office.
CDs have never been sold in cardboard packaging.
Avon has always been “calling” in a catalog.
NATO has always been looking for a role.
Two Koreas have always been members of the UN.
Official racial classifications in South Africa have always been outlawed.
The NBC Today Show has always been seen on weekends.
Vice presidents of the United States have always had real power.
Conflict in Northern Ireland has always been slowly winding down.
Migration of once independent media like radio, TV, videos and compact discs to the computer has never amazed them.
Nobody has ever responded to “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
Congress could never give itself a mid-term raise.
There has always been blue Jell-O.


http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2013.php
 
Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.
This one doesn't make any sense at all.

That said, some of those make me feel old. Some of them make me feel young. And others make me feel just right. And there are others that I never knew used to not be true.
 
i felt old the other day when I realised Bon Scott has been dead for 29 years. At times it seems like it was only yesterday I saw an AC/DC concert in my city with Bon as the lead singer. I don't think many members of this board ever saw Bon Scott perform live?
 
I feel old whenever I watch a NFL or NBA, MLB baseball game and your see coaches who use to be players, you recall watching them play. What's worst is when yuo can recall when said coach was a rookie, just starting out in the game.

Jason
 
i felt old the other day when I realised Bon Scott has been dead for 29 years. At times it seems like it was only yesterday I saw an AC/DC concert in my city with Bon as the lead singer. I don't think many members of this board ever saw Bon Scott perform live?
I have. But you and I are contemporaries.

But it's way cool, isn't it? Great performer.
 
i felt old the other day when I realised Bon Scott has been dead for 29 years. At times it seems like it was only yesterday I saw an AC/DC concert in my city with Bon as the lead singer. I don't think many members of this board ever saw Bon Scott perform live?
I have. But you and I are contemporaries.

But it's way cool, isn't it? Great performer.

I saw them perform the day after my 18th birthday.

It was at Hobart's City Hall. There was no seating so I tried to get as close to the stage as I could. However so did everyone else. I ended up about 5 people back from the front. The crowd behind me was pushing forward and the bouncers at the front was pushing back. I was caught in the middle. I was being crushed. I had platform shoes on and managed to trip and fall to the floor. People were trampling me. Some people tried to help me up but couldn't. I was screaming, A bouncer realised what was happening and grabbed me by the feet and dragged me out and carried me to the steps of the stage. The same thing had happened to another girl and she was sat next to me. After being checked and found to only have minor injuries we were allowed to stay on top of the steps for the remainder of the concert. Bon Scott came over and asked if we were OK.

We were given some free posters by the organisers.

It wasn't until the next day I found out how badly bruised I was.
 
i felt old the other day when I realised Bon Scott has been dead for 29 years. At times it seems like it was only yesterday I saw an AC/DC concert in my city with Bon as the lead singer. I don't think many members of this board ever saw Bon Scott perform live?

Lucky bastardess! (no insult intended)

I was too young to go and see an AC/DC concert, but my cousin went and he left me the ticket:

numrisation0002-2.jpg


2 1/2 months before his death.
 
When I heard that Bon Scott had died I broke I cried. He was the only celebrity I ever did this for.
 
I thought you might be along, Mutenroshi. :)

That ticket confuses me - if I read this correctly, the concert was to be in December 1979, but was authorised October 1977. A concert booked over a year ahead??
 
Not all of these make sense, I have to say...

Someone has always been building something taller than the Willis (née Sears) Tower in Chicago.

Which wasn't even the world's tallest structure when it was built. In fact, someone was building something taller just two years after its completion!

They have never understood the meaning of R.S.V.P.

Really? I thought this was still fairly commonly known. Maybe it's just because I come from a country were 1/3 of the population speaks French, but...

Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.

WTF, as mentioned by others. Hell, it weirded me out the other day when I heard "Californiacation" on a classic rock station the other day, but I think that's as far as they go.

CDs have never been sold in cardboard packaging.

So... I guess I'll have to take back all the CDs I've purchased with cardboard packages in the last few years? Seriously, cardboard is pretty common for new releases these days, I don't get this one at all.


That said, I'm 22 and this makes me feel old in places.
 
They have never used a card catalog to find a book.
My wife teaches Economics to high school seniors, and she gave them a research project to do, along with a couple of days in the library to do said research. On one of the days, the school's internet connection happened to go out, so of course she suggested they use the encyclopedias and other reference books to find they information they needed. They way they looked at her, you'd think she had grown another head! :guffaw: My wife and the school librarian had to teach these kids from scratch as to how to use the library. :rolleyes:
 
When I heard that Bon Scott had died I broke I cried. He was the only celebrity I ever did this for.

I did that on November 24, 1991, when Freddie Mercury died.

I thought you might be along, Mutenroshi. :)
:D
That ticket confuses me - if I read this correctly, the concert was to be in December 1979, but was authorised October 1977. A concert booked over a year ahead??

I understand your confusion Australis, but here the authorization was given to KCP to set up concerts, any concerts. From 1977 on.
 
Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.
This one doesn't make any sense at all.

Britney Spears has no place on a rock station, classic or otherwise.

And I've never heard her on one. Only top 40 stations. Classic Rock stations are pretty conservative with what they air, tending to recycle the same songs over and over again. U2 finally seems to have been included, provided it's pre-Achtung Baby.

Now if they had said The Beatles have always been heard on classic rock stations, that might make people who are used to hearing Elvis on said stations feel old.

Personally, the list doesn't make me feel old or young, just indifferent. Some of those events I remember the "before" others I don't. But not feeling old (although I did yesterday when I said anyone over the age of 21 is old, including myself).
 
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