How do you feel about Valentines Day?

[Thestral]

Yes on paper doing something nice seems like a worthy high ground to take but you know it doesn't always help. This topic in particular, even more than Xmas imo, can be very deeply painful.

Yeah, agreed. I really don't get people who get bitter and angry (especially angry) about it though; other people are having a good time, why begrudge them? That just makes you an asshole on top of being sad and lonely, and who wants to go for that hat trick? The worst I ever felt about it was a kind of sad loneliness.

Unless it's this, because this is awesome:

I NEED IT.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

 

[auntiehill]

I've always liked it, even though I was unhappily single until my 30s. My Mom would always give me little gifts on Valentine's Day, which really made the day nice. I would bring candy for all my work-mates, or even chocolate covered strawberries. I send cards to my nieces and nephew. Any excuse to celebrate, really.

Now that I'm married, it's also an excuse to have a romantic night out with hubby--a date, if you will. After 10 years of marriage (anniversary in March), it's gets a little dull, so any excuse to spruce up and go out is fun. We usually go the day before or after Valentine's Day, to avoid the big crowds and we give each other little gifts. Life is too short not to celebrate whatever you want to celebrate, so why not?

 

[Gotham Central]

Yes on paper doing something nice seems like a worthy high ground to take but you know it doesn't always help. This topic in particular, even more than Xmas imo, can be very deeply painful.

Yeah, agreed. I really don't get people who get bitter and angry (especially angry) about it though; other people are having a good time, why begrudge them? That just makes you an asshole on top of being sad and lonely, and who wants to go for that hat trick? The worst I ever felt about it was a kind of sad loneliness.

Unless it's this, because this is awesome:

I NEED IT.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

I totally get the anger and bitterness. Been there done that. Again, its the sense of exclusion. That usually leads to bitterness and anger in many situations.

That said, there is no reason to ruin it for others. I always tried to get out of the way and leave people to their happiness.

Now there ARE those people that really like to rub the whole thing in your face. That sort of thing just pisses me off.

 

[thestrangequark]

^And that is exactly what I was talking about. I've never encountered the people who rub it in your face, but clearly that is the one extreme, and what annoys me is the other extreme. Ultimately both groups are doing the same thing: the one is inflicting their own self pleasure one you while the other is inflicting their self pity.

 

[Thestral]

Don't work in a restaurant on Valentine's Day.

 

[thestrangequark]

^I think I'd rather like it. It'd be adorable!

Maybe that's what I don't get...the idea of someone else's happiness making you miserable.

 

[Amaris]

^I think I'd rather like it. It'd be adorable!

Maybe that's what I don't get...the idea of someone else's happiness making you miserable.

Not that I'm this way so much anymore, but if my own past experiences are any indication of normal behavior, it's likely the pain that comes from emptiness or envy. When we are hurting, when we are lonely, and we see so many others who are happy and seem fulfilled, it can be almost painful, and we resent that pain, as well as the people who seem to aggravate that pain. We become envious, and sometimes we lash out at others; not because we don't want them to be happy, but because we want to be happy, too.

Just my two bits on that.

 

[Thestral]

^ There is some of that, true. Especially what teacake was saying about how it's a continual reminder of what you don't have without even begrudging what they have. More importantly though I just like to nostalgically bitch...

^I think I'd rather like it. It'd be adorable!

Maybe that's what I don't get...the idea of someone else's happiness making you miserable.

A constant stream of two-person tables going for the couples' special with few big tops... and management driving you batty by constantly reminding how extra-special the day is and of course the usual menu confusion.

Better than Mother's Day though. At least I never saw a fistfight break out on Valentine's.

 

[thestrangequark]

^Yeah, why not? I like seeing people in love. And yeah, it's bittersweet because I've never been in love, but I'd rather let their happiness inspire me than focus on my own bitterness.

J, I don't really know what to say to that...I guess, I just think it's wrong to take things out on other people, so I don't do it, and I don't think very much of such behavior. I get that people hurt, I get that people can feel lonely and excluded -- I've felt those things on many occasions. But it's still no excuse to be an asshole, and that's where I draw the line.

 

[Thestral]

People in love are good and shouldn't be interfered from enjoying their love.

I'd mostly moved from thinking about Valentine's to the horribly cynical, fucked up, wonderful camaraderie of food service, sorry about that.

 

[thestrangequark]

^Oh, my heavens, horrible cynicism is certainly acceptable in the case of food service! Why, I'm nauseated and quivering just thinking about it.

 

[Amaris]

^ There is some of that, true. Especially what teacake was saying about how it's a continual reminder of what you don't have without even begrudging what they have. More importantly though I just like to nostalgically bitch...

Exactly, and it's not like people are doing it on purpose. When a happy couple says they're so happy together, it's because they are happy, and they want others to be happy, too. They can't possibly know that for someone who is desperately alone that it's like a jagged dagger through the heart.

^Yeah, why not? I like seeing people in love. And yeah, it's bittersweet because I've never been in love, but I'd rather let their happiness inspire me than focus on my own bitterness.

J, I don't really know what to say to that...I guess, I just think it's wrong to take things out on other people, so I don't do it, and I don't think very much of such behavior. I get that people hurt, I get that people can feel lonely and excluded -- I've felt those things on many occasions. But it's still no excuse to be an asshole, and that's where I draw the line.

Oh, I agree completely on the "asshole" bit. I'm just talking about why someone would feel that way on Valentine's Day. Actually trying to dampen someone's day on purpose, though? There's no excuse for that.

Even at my worst and darkest point, I'd shore up a smile and congratulate a couple who were happy. I do my damnedest not to steal someone else's joy.

 

[Thestral]

^Oh, my heavens, horrible cynicism is certainly acceptable in the case of food service! Why, I'm nauseated and quivering just thinking about it.

A thread for another time though.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

 

[Taylirious]

I hope you all find LOVE!

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ There you go.

Valentine's Day is great. What better thing to celebrate than love?

 

[JarodRussell]

Like father's day and mother's day, relationship day is just a marketing ploy to sell gifts at higher prices. And christmas. And easter.

We have random Valentine's days.

For people who are single and not happy with being so, I would think Valentine's Day is the perfect day to throw some kind of singles party!

Surprise oneself with lube and tissues?

Funnily enough, the local escort service announced reduced Valentine prices on flyers in our mail.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Now there ARE those people that really like to rub the whole thing in your face. That sort of thing just pisses me off.

Those people probably do a lot of other obnoxious things. The problem is them, and not Valentines Day itself.

 

[cooleddie74]

I'm not married and haven't had a steady, long term relationship in a while but I genuinely enjoy Valentine's Day and it's a family tradition going back to my childhood. It's like other holidays: what you decide to make of it.

For me right now, it's about candy I like. That's all the reason I need to like it. Gimme some SweetTarts and gummy hearts and I'm plenty satisfied.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

It's a day I still acknowledge and welcome, and in the past I've had the compulsion to do something special for that special someone. Of course there were at least two VD-related gestures in my younger years that didn't quite work out - quite frankly, the first of them was an unmitigated disaster. Still, I lived and learned.

I've appreciated the time of year on most years that I can remember. There was, however, one notable recent exception where it was absolutely the last thing on my mind.