How do the SNW crew die?

Ortegas dies peacefully in her sleep.

While everyone else on the bridge dies screaming when the ship crashes because of the dead pilot.

 

If you can hear this ship listing, you're dying.

 

... horribly.

 

They all get reassigned.

 

A strange alien entity merges with Sam Kirk's pornstache while he's asleep, causing it to slink off of his face like an inch-worm and strangle him in his sleep. The mustache then crawls out into the night to kill and maim.

Ortegas is strangled, while M'Bega is suffocated. Una utilizes her superior abilities to figut off the mustache, but it gets her on the neck with the Vulcan Death Grip. Captain Pike tries to intervene, and is left disfigured and crippled.

Security Lady tries stepping on it with her boot, only for the feindish facial hair to harden into poisonous spikes. She dies in an instant.

Cadet Uhura attempts to decipher the alien stache's language and communicate with it, but gets fed up and exclaims "no wonder you're extinct!" The mustache bristles threateningly with a loud hiss, and sprays lethal venom onto Uhura.

The murauding mustache makes its way to the Engine Room, where it hides under the nose of the Aenar engineer (recently resurrected, but not for long). Hemmer, realizing that the mustache is fixed to his face, jumps into the warp core, sacrificing himself to save the remainder of the ship.

 

Sam Kirk dies, and was never mentioned again
Not even a bit of belated grief from brother Jim

 

People don't mourn in the future.

 

That's a good example of the creative limitations imposed by the basic conceits of episodic pseudo-anthology 1960s American television. The format generally discouraged long-term character arcs such as grief over the loss of a loved one because of the belief that the most prestigious storytelling format is an anthology, and that thus characters should have static personalities and not be changed by the events they live through.

The limitations imposed by this format is, to be honest, why I think modern shows like Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, and Star Trek: Picard are artistically superior to Star Trek: The Original Series.

 

I think DS9 did it best. SNW is doing a good job as well.

 

Explosive Diarrhea.

 

They die like a true family, on the same day and the same style of accident but in different locations.

 

Hull breach. But their bodies are never found. Hmm...

 

I didn't know Taco Bell would still be around in the future...

 

It's the only one to survive the franchise wars.

 

Also isn't "Explosive Diarrhea" the name of La'an's punk band?

 

Yeah, she actually survives for a few more years than the rest but due to the blowout destroying her lower body she performs from the beepy Pike wheelchair.