How can an Introvert show Personality?

[Jadzia]

So I was wondering, if you're an introvert and you're meeting a recruiter or interviewer for the first time, how do you build a connection with that person, allow the personality to come through, and "stand out?"

As an introvert, you're made to feel that it's you who has to "stand out", which is biased. Just as reasonable is for the extravert to be told to "really listen" if they want to connect with introverts.

Building a connection with another is a two way thing. It requires something from both people.

It's easy for an extravert to say that you're not showing your personality when you really are. Extraverts can often struggle to see it, as if they're only perceptive of spotlights and sirens.

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

I'm also a strong introvert who needs all the help I can get in social situations, job interviews etc.

I'd recommend a book called "The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World". I liked this book because it was one of the first sources I've encountered that treats introversion as an asset instead of a liability. It made me feel much more confident to see my introverted personality as morally neutral instead of inherently defective, and of course, the increased confidence translates into social situations where I have to act extroverted.


http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Adv...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1302040500&sr=1-1

Oh, and the person who told you you had no personality because you're introverted? She doesn't get it, and that was incredibly rude of her.

 

[CaptainStoner]

I'm also a strong introvert who needs all the help I can get in social situations, job interviews etc.

I'd recommend a book called "The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World". I liked this book because it was one of the first sources I've encountered that treats introversion as an asset instead of a liability. It made me feel much more confident to see my introverted personality as morally neutral instead of inherently defective, and of course, the increased confidence translates into social situations where I have to act extroverted.


http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Adv...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1302040500&sr=1-1

Oh, and the person who told you you had no personality because you're introverted? She doesn't get it, and that was incredibly rude of her.

There is a real bias in the working world against "I" type people. A large majority of managers are "E" (extrovert) people.
So yeah I agree with reading up on the strengths of this type of personality, and hopefully interview for jobs that are known to be compatible.
It's a stretch for an "I" to be more "E" but far from impossible. It just doesn't come naturally.

 

[RJDiogenes]

What I do is chew gum and play with a yo-yo. Nothing says personality more than that.

Of course, when I'm alone, I become introverted again.

How do you know?

 

[Amaris]

What I do is chew gum and play with a yo-yo. Nothing says personality more than that.

Of course, when I'm alone, I become introverted again.

How do you know?

When I'm alone it's because I want to be away from people. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to look at anyone, I don't want anyone to interrupt my privacy.

 

[ALF]

Make art.

 

[Captain_Nick]

Like this lady last night, I've never seen her before and based on her observations, she told me I had no personality. I can't go calling her names in response.

Yeah you can. You should in fact, you've let this woman know that she can disrespect you as she pleases and you don't do a thing about it.

Now you could get all defensive, angry and call her pig fucking pond scum .. and that might be fun .. but it won't get you the job and it will send the signal that a little teasing causes you to overreact like a crazy person.

Tease back. Tell her that you're only as interesting as the person you're conversing with, or something. Do it with a wicked grin instead of a scowl (it took me years to figure this bit out) and she will realise that you can give back as good as you get and that you don't take crap from anyone. If you are lucky you may end up attracting her sexually. Then it will be a very easy thing to get the job you want.

 

[mimic]

One thing that I think needs to be cleared up a bit is the definition of introversion, because some people seem to be equating it with being shy. Introversion and shyness are two independent things. Introverts tire of socialization - we're the ones who are good at a party for maybe 2-3 hours and then just want to go home. Shy people are nervous when meeting people.

I'm not sure you can ever really change from being introverted to extroverted. Those of you who did probably went from being shy extroverts to just extroverts.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

I don't think that you should try to change yourself too much. However, what I would suggest is doing some of the small things with your body language that suggest quiet confidence: calm and pleasant facial expression, sitting up straight (but not stiff), confident eye contact, and not allowing nervousness to show. And of course make sure that you know that you know your stuff. Don't let the other person talk you out of that.

I don't think you have to become a loud person or social animal, just look confident and approachable. You don't have to do all of the "approaching" yourself. Think about the traits that make you feel good about talking to someone.

BUT...there is a point where you have to consider--if you're doing an interview, YOU are, in a way, also interviewing your boss. If the boss is intolerant, then the job is not going to be a good fit and it is going to make you miserable. If they want a little clone of themselves and can't respect different kinds of people, that's not good.

 

[PKTrekGirl]

Being an introvert has nothing whatever to do with 'showing personality'. Defining yourself as an introvert simply means that you gain your strength from your alone time, as opposed to when you are with people. It does not mean that you are necessarily quiet and reserved when you ARE with people.

I consider myself to be an introvert -I gather strength from being alone...and being in a crowd is a drain on me. However, when I *am* in a crowd, I am as outgoing as they come. I talk to everyone, and I think most people would say I'm actually gregarious and personable. Also, in the public accounting industry, which I was in for many years, you have to be outgoing and willing to meet and get to know lots of new people, and for me, that was very easy.

But then I like to go home to a nice quiet house and chillax again. That is where my batteries get recharged.

'Showing personality', in the sense that that job coach was talking about, is simply showing some enthusiasm - an upbeat positive attitude. That is sometimes hard to do in job search. But it doesn't have anything to do with being an introvert or an extrovert.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

Like this lady last night, I've never seen her before and based on her observations, she told me I had no personality. I can't go calling her names in response.

Yeah you can. You should in fact, you've let this woman know that she can disrespect you as she pleases and you don't do a thing about it.

Now you could get all defensive, angry and call her pig fucking pond scum .. and that might be fun .. but it won't get you the job and it will send the signal that a little teasing causes you to overreact like a crazy person.

Tease back. Tell her that you're only as interesting as the person you're conversing with, or something. Do it with a u may end up attracting her sexually. Then it will be a very easy thing to get the job you want.

I agree with Nick. Given the context, she might well have been testing how you respond to the sort of goading you get in a customer-facing environment. The thing to do is to learn various scripts along these lines, and practise how to extemporise. There are shelfloads of books on this subject, and on how to succeed in interview situations.

Oh, yes, I forgot to point out that which others subsequently have. Introvert and extrovert don't have quite the meanings that people think. Introversion does not equate with shyness. For example, look up Jung's analytic psychology, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the five-factor model, and so on. Sooner or later, an employer, current or prospective, might test you to see where your "personality" lies on these scales.

 

[Captain_Nick]

And you need to be ready to bust the test wide open when they do. I have solved the Myers Briggs personality test, and I can give myself whatever RCI descriptors I wish. Of course, without knowing what the employers are looking for, the exercise is kind of pointless.

Can you recommend any good books for getting better at extemporising? My wittiest comebacks only ever occur to me days after the conversation took place...

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

For practise in extemporising, it would probably be better to attend drama classes or join a debating society. It's a mental muscle that needs to be exercised to get stronger.

 

[DBR]

There's this "thing" some people have: They're charming, talkative, charismatic, they instantly make friends with anyone they meet, able to smile naturally without force. You know the kind of person.

I notice this "thing" in people, and I've tried emulating it--or parts of it--with about 6.4% success. So I can't help you.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

You need to have the wiring; some of us just don't.

 

[RJDiogenes]

What I do is chew gum and play with a yo-yo. Nothing says personality more than that.

Of course, when I'm alone, I become introverted again.

How do you know?

When I'm alone it's because I want to be away from people. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to look at anyone, I don't want anyone to interrupt my privacy.

I know. It was a little joke.

 

[Amaris]

What I do is chew gum and play with a yo-yo. Nothing says personality more than that.


How do you know?

When I'm alone it's because I want to be away from people. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to look at anyone, I don't want anyone to interrupt my privacy.

I know. It was a little joke.

Very little, Ensign. [/Spock]

 

[Venardhi]

Sometimes I think I'm bi-overted. But it may just be that I'm introverted with a histrionic streak.

And with that, I am at the limit of my ability to contribute to the conversation. I've taken the easy road and accepted that as the oil in the water, I have to work twice as hard to make people think I belong in those occasions where I have to belong.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I've never had to take a personality test to get a job, though I've had some friends who did.

What, exactly, is the point of such a test? Anyone who's not an idiot will lie on any question where there's an obvious "right" answer. And beyond that, one's personality type as reported by a test is fucking worthless. Really interacting with a person is the only way to get a good feel for them.

 

[Holdfast]

^ they're not really designed to be used in job interviews; their use in that context (though moderately common) is pretty random. They are useful for improving how an existing team works, though. Personality testing is very informative indeed, once you interpret the results on their own merit. To say they're worthless is pretty inaccurate; they actually tell you a lot about people, though not in a way that's particularly helpful to a job interview.

One thing that I think needs to be cleared up a bit is the definition of introversion, because some people seem to be equating it with being shy. Introversion and shyness are two independent things.

Thank you for posting this already; it's what I was itching to post while reading the thread.

However, the conclusion I would draw is a bit different.

Being an introvert in itself is not a valid reason for not being an engaging and vibrant person to be around. Almost any introvert, with practice and training (sometimes a lot of it!), can do it. They can even enjoy it, or learn to. They'll just be exhausted by it after a relatively short space of time, compared to an extrovert.

In fact, because introverts often apply practice/training to people skills, they can end up being better at it than extroverts. Untrained extroverts can be unfocused and random in their interactions; whereas a practised introvert may well be more effective, because they've honed the art of balancing listening and talking.

Introverts may well also be shy, but there are also shy extroverts, as you say. Overcoming shyness an important first step to improving people skills in either case. The next step then varies; the introvert needs to learn to tune into interpersonal interactions in a somewhat different way to the extrovert.

Introverts will notice the interactions and interpret them as being a function of themself, and they need to learn to parse out what is them, and what is other. Extroverts will automatically tend to assume the interactions themselves have a life of their own, and "forget" that individuals, often with conflicting agenda, are driving those interactions forward.