Field of Dishonor.In the first book I didn't really get to even finding Honor interesting until close to the end and didn't "like" her until several books later. (The one with the pistol duel, I forget the title.)
(Sorry, don't have anything to say about the bulk of your post. I see where you're coming from, and I can't really disagree with your opinion. Figured I'd at least be helpful and flesh that one bit out!)
SPOILERS:
The book where, besides being the first to hold citizenship in two planets, the first to be an admiral in two navies, a nobelwoman risen from a commoner, the first foreign landholder on Grayson, the first human to achieve telepathy with a treecat, so feared by her enemies they gave her a nickname, personal friend of the queen, (um.. what else? I know I'm only half way thru the Mary Sueness), she's also a perfect hip-shot with a thousand-year-old .45 auto.
OY!