TITLE: Hazing Hazzard
AUTHOR: MiekJaffa
SYNOPIS: Opening scene from the Babylon 5 episode “Babylon Squared” translated to Star Trek: Ransome and Shaxs prank Mariner.
DISCLAIMER. Star Trek is owned by Paramount. And while this isn’t a crossover. Babylon 5 is owned by Warner Brothers.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have long come up with “dialogue challenges,” and one of them was to take the opening scene of “Babylon Square,” originally written by J. Michael Staczynski, to Star Trek. But I didn’t think of something that MIGHT work until I just got into Star Trek: Lower Decks and bounced my way through all 4 seasons. You should be able to find the original Babylon 5 scene on YouTube by searching for “Babylon 5 breakfast prank” or “pranking Ivanova.”
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“Lieutenant Mariner!” Ransom called from the booth in the *Cerritos’s* bar where he was having breakfast with Shaxs. “Join us.” Shaxs and Ransom’s trays were laden with food they had just got from the replicator.
Lieutenant Junior Grade Beckett Mariner looked left and right, shrugged, and squeezed into one of the booth. Shaxs was in the middle, and Ransom was opposite her. “Thanks,” she said.
Ransom said, “Nothing personal, Mariner, but you look like hell.”
“That’s what I get for pulling the graveyard shift again,” Mariner said. She yawned. “The *Yorktown* is running behind schedule and can’t launch a solar probe to the Argolis system in time to reach their next destination. So we launch the probe, and they’ll take control during a quick flyby and collect all the data and, yes, this is me, the credit.”
Shaxs asked, “How long until the handoff?”
“Three hours,” Mariner said. “Everything’s ok, so far, so I left the bridge while I got something to eat. I know, have to stay on duty, but if I eat from the bridge replicator, my stomach gets all twitchy. Just ask my mom…well after breakfast.” (Ransom responded with a ‘Yeah, ok’ shrug.) “They’ll call me if anything goes south. But then I have Con duty during the morning watch.” She yawned. “And that’s on top of the fact that I hate mornings.”
Shaxs said, “We noticed. Personally, I find it the best part of the day.”
“Me, too,” Ransom said.
Mariner smirked. “And people think I’m clinically insane.” She rested her head in one hand.
Shaxs said, “The time I really appreciated mornings was when I was trained by monks in a Bajoran monastery. We rose at sunrise every day and meditated for an hour before breakfast.” His deep, gravely voice got progressively softer and more hypnotic: “We would sit…quietly…at peace…breathing in…breathing out…breathing in…”
Mariner sighed as her eyelids floated shut.
“…breathing out…breathing in…breathing out…breathing in…breathing…out.” He kept a close eye on Mariner to make sure she was asleep. Then he nodded to Ransom.
Ransom reached down to the booth next to him and pulled up empty plates. They traded the full plates for empty ones, hiding the full ones on the seat and putting the full ones on their trays. Then they raised their plates a millimeter and dropped them.
Mariner snapped awake. “What the--!?”
Ransome said, “Ah that hit the spot! I see you cleaned your plate too, Shaxs.”
“Yes,” Shaxs said. “We have to get going. It’s almost 7:30.”
“S-s-seven thirty!?” Mariner stammered. “I slept through breakfast? That’s not fair!”
Ransom said, “Is there a problem, Lieutenant J. G. Mariner?”
“No—sorry—Jeez—I gotta run!” She hustled out of the booth as she tabbed her com badge. “Mariner to Freeman! I’m sorry I’m late, but I’m on my way.”
When she had gone, Shaxs and Ransom removed the empty plates and put the full ones on their trays. Then Shaxs squeezed out of the booth, smiling. He said, “May the Prophets protect you, commander. You’re going to need it.” He headed for another booth, still amused.
Ransom counted down as he ate: “Five…four…three…two…one.”
Mariner’s voice echoed across the bar: “Augh! Ransom! I swear one day I will bathe in your blood!”
“Damn,” Ransom muttered, “it’s still hot when she says that.”
THE END
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This was actually harder than you would think. I went through several combinations of characters before settling on this one, and even then, I’m not entirely happy with it. If you think you can do better, be my guest! I would love to read it.
AUTHOR: MiekJaffa
SYNOPIS: Opening scene from the Babylon 5 episode “Babylon Squared” translated to Star Trek: Ransome and Shaxs prank Mariner.
DISCLAIMER. Star Trek is owned by Paramount. And while this isn’t a crossover. Babylon 5 is owned by Warner Brothers.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have long come up with “dialogue challenges,” and one of them was to take the opening scene of “Babylon Square,” originally written by J. Michael Staczynski, to Star Trek. But I didn’t think of something that MIGHT work until I just got into Star Trek: Lower Decks and bounced my way through all 4 seasons. You should be able to find the original Babylon 5 scene on YouTube by searching for “Babylon 5 breakfast prank” or “pranking Ivanova.”
8
8
8
8
8
“Lieutenant Mariner!” Ransom called from the booth in the *Cerritos’s* bar where he was having breakfast with Shaxs. “Join us.” Shaxs and Ransom’s trays were laden with food they had just got from the replicator.
Lieutenant Junior Grade Beckett Mariner looked left and right, shrugged, and squeezed into one of the booth. Shaxs was in the middle, and Ransom was opposite her. “Thanks,” she said.
Ransom said, “Nothing personal, Mariner, but you look like hell.”
“That’s what I get for pulling the graveyard shift again,” Mariner said. She yawned. “The *Yorktown* is running behind schedule and can’t launch a solar probe to the Argolis system in time to reach their next destination. So we launch the probe, and they’ll take control during a quick flyby and collect all the data and, yes, this is me, the credit.”
Shaxs asked, “How long until the handoff?”
“Three hours,” Mariner said. “Everything’s ok, so far, so I left the bridge while I got something to eat. I know, have to stay on duty, but if I eat from the bridge replicator, my stomach gets all twitchy. Just ask my mom…well after breakfast.” (Ransom responded with a ‘Yeah, ok’ shrug.) “They’ll call me if anything goes south. But then I have Con duty during the morning watch.” She yawned. “And that’s on top of the fact that I hate mornings.”
Shaxs said, “We noticed. Personally, I find it the best part of the day.”
“Me, too,” Ransom said.
Mariner smirked. “And people think I’m clinically insane.” She rested her head in one hand.
Shaxs said, “The time I really appreciated mornings was when I was trained by monks in a Bajoran monastery. We rose at sunrise every day and meditated for an hour before breakfast.” His deep, gravely voice got progressively softer and more hypnotic: “We would sit…quietly…at peace…breathing in…breathing out…breathing in…”
Mariner sighed as her eyelids floated shut.
“…breathing out…breathing in…breathing out…breathing in…breathing…out.” He kept a close eye on Mariner to make sure she was asleep. Then he nodded to Ransom.
Ransom reached down to the booth next to him and pulled up empty plates. They traded the full plates for empty ones, hiding the full ones on the seat and putting the full ones on their trays. Then they raised their plates a millimeter and dropped them.
Mariner snapped awake. “What the--!?”
Ransome said, “Ah that hit the spot! I see you cleaned your plate too, Shaxs.”
“Yes,” Shaxs said. “We have to get going. It’s almost 7:30.”
“S-s-seven thirty!?” Mariner stammered. “I slept through breakfast? That’s not fair!”
Ransom said, “Is there a problem, Lieutenant J. G. Mariner?”
“No—sorry—Jeez—I gotta run!” She hustled out of the booth as she tabbed her com badge. “Mariner to Freeman! I’m sorry I’m late, but I’m on my way.”
When she had gone, Shaxs and Ransom removed the empty plates and put the full ones on their trays. Then Shaxs squeezed out of the booth, smiling. He said, “May the Prophets protect you, commander. You’re going to need it.” He headed for another booth, still amused.
Ransom counted down as he ate: “Five…four…three…two…one.”
Mariner’s voice echoed across the bar: “Augh! Ransom! I swear one day I will bathe in your blood!”
“Damn,” Ransom muttered, “it’s still hot when she says that.”
THE END
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This was actually harder than you would think. I went through several combinations of characters before settling on this one, and even then, I’m not entirely happy with it. If you think you can do better, be my guest! I would love to read it.
