Have You Ever Cheated?

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

I am one of the most faithful men in the world. My girlfriend and I had a long distance relationship for nine years. There were times when we would only see each other once or twice a year. And yet in all that time I never cheated once, never even went to a strip club. And this despite the fact that I lived down the street from the most famous strip club in America and literally lived next to a house of prostitution. I guess I am just not the kind of guy who cheats.

But there is something that bothers me. I actually would like to cheat. My girlfriend is the only girl I have ever been with because of my life long social anxiety. There is a big part of me that feels I missed out on something and at times I really would like to know what it is like being with someone else. Problem is I really love being with my girlfriend and don't like not being with her. So in my plans this is it for the rest of my life. Unless she goes before me(highly unlikely) I either have to accept this or change my moral code.

I am curious if anyone here has ever consciously cheated on someone they were dating or married to. I know this is a sensitive question and I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I am curious what was the reason that led you to the decision and how you felt afterwards.

 

[Amaris]

No, I have never cheated on any of my past girlfriends.


J.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Nope. But I am in an open relationship so our definition of "cheating" is a bit more specific.

 

[OmahaStar]

No, I have never cheated on any of my past girlfriends.


J.

You've had girlfriends?

 

[Spot's Meow]

Nope, never cheated.

One thing I have learned from the problems that some married people around me have had is that you should not mess up something great because you think that there's something you're missing out there. It's one of those "the grass is always greener" things. One spouse would stray or the couple would seperate because they think that they missed out on something (usually they feel this way because they married early or had very few other significant others). I think that sometimes it is natural to wonder if you really have the best that you can have. But I've never known a case where the person went out there to find something better and actually did - they always come back with a big apology and hoping their partner will take them back. And it doesn't always happen. So be grateful for the awesome girl that you have!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

A long time ago I was in a long distance relationship with someone. Things weren't going so well and I was constantly chickening out on breaking up with her (I was such an asshole back then - I'm surprised she didn't break up with me first, I was a crappy boyfriend). Anyway, we didn't get to see each other that often because we lived so far apart. Then one day I hung out with one of my old girlfriends and I kissed her. That was it.

That being said: Dark_Journey, you may think you want to know what it's like being with someone else, but you don't really want it. You are acting out the old "grass is always greener..." line, even if you don't realize it. So don't go burning that bridge. You have the chance to stop yourself. Take it.

 

[SicOne]

Ever since our first date, it has just been Mrs. SicOne. Prior to her, however, I routinely juggled two (on occasion, three) women simultaneously, but they all knew of each other's existence (and a little healthy competition did make them more anxious to please).

That being said, you say you are in a monogamous relationship at this time, but would like to "cheat". Clearly, you are thinking in the long-term with this girl, and you want to make sure your wild oats are sowed prior to what lies ahead, whether official marriage, common-law marriage, or long-term cohabitating. That's completely understandable...if you know this is the only pussy you're going to drill for the rest of your days, you want to make sure there's nothing better out there, that you haven't missed anything. I can see you all nodding along with me. Well, the grass is always greener on the other side, they say, but that's a common fallacy and you need to think of the aftermath...

(1) What's good for the goose is good for the gander...she may be tempted to explore the grass on the other side herself, and maybe much more extensively than you, whether to punish you for your unfaithfulness or to get it all out of her system, but you need to be prepared for that.

(2) What if you get another girl pregnant? What if, in relation to #1 above, your girlfriend becomes pregnant and she has been trysting with another (or multiple anothers) man? What happens to your relationship then?

(3) What about sexually-transmitted diseases? A much reduced problem in a monogamous relationship, but a hideous complication if one or both partners strays, even once. And there's diseases out there that laugh at penicillin.

(4) And even if you, or her, strays once, how do you rebuild the trust? Right now, you're basking in a trustful relationship and don't much question her dedication to you. That will come to a crashing halt if you cheat. Even if she doesn't, you will look at things with a new eye. If she goes out with girlfriends right now, no big deal; if you cheat on her, you will wonder if she's really with Susie and the girls or out getting pronged by another guy. And if you don't then feel guilt about what you've subjected your relationship with her to, then you need to re-evaluate your desire and suitability for a long-term relationship with anyone.

Trust me, there's not a married guy on the planet who hasn't thought as you do. Sometimes they are lucky (like me) and get all of that wildness and want out of their system before they get hitched to the woman of their dreams, but most of the time they fantasize about someone else when they're throwing dick into their women (I'm guilty of that at times, mostly when I've recently watched some 70s porn or an Angelina Jolie movie), but most of the time that's as far as it goes, whether it is because they truly love their mate or they don't want to irreparably fuck up their lives as they know them varies. Think about how you'd feel if you found out she was screwing around with someone else, and how you'd deal with it, then think of all that she could (and probably would) do to you if she found out you did.

Because she'd find out sooner or later. Women always do. Do whatever makes you happy, but think more long-term about your happiness, rather than short-term.

Hope this helps.

 

[JonathonWally]

But there is something that bothers me. I actually would like to cheat. My girlfriend is the only girl I have ever been with because of my life long social anxiety. There is a big part of me that feels I missed out on something and at times I really would like to know what it is like being with someone else. Problem is I really love being with my girlfriend and don't like not being with her.

Do you want to cheat or do you just want to have sex with another chick?

Huge difference in psychological motivation and gratification.

If it's just the sex you want, depending on your gf, talk to her about it. Invite more people into the bedroom perhaps.

 

[Amaris]

No, I have never cheated on any of my past girlfriends.


J.

You've had girlfriends?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I?


J.

 

[Goji]

Nope. Then again I've never had an opportunity. I'd like to think that I would not, but can't say for sure. I'm guessing it's not going to come up though.

 

[Venardhi]

No. I've ended a few relationships because I was interested in someone else, but I never pursued anyone seriously while involved with someone else.

I still got hit by an angry car-wielding friend of an ex for that behavior though. Honesty does have a price.

 

[WillsBabe]

I have never cheated on my husband and I never would. I love him and respect him far too much.

 

[Sparky]

Been married for 10 years now. Nope have never cheated on my wife or any previous girlfriends.

 

[RoJoHen]

No, I have never cheated on any of my past girlfriends.


J.

You've had girlfriends?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I?


J.

He's just upset because he wants your balls.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

I am one of the most faithful men in the world. My girlfriend and I had a long distance relationship for nine years. There were times when we would only see each other once or twice a year. And yet in all that time I never cheated once, never even went to a strip club. And this despite the fact that I lived down the street from the most famous strip club in America and literally lived next to a house of prostitution. I guess I am just not the kind of guy who cheats.

But there is something that bothers me. I actually would like to cheat. My girlfriend is the only girl I have ever been with because of my life long social anxiety. There is a big part of me that feels I missed out on something and at times I really would like to know what it is like being with someone else.

What about your strip club blowjob?

 

[Hermiod]

Cheated ? On who ?

 

[Yoda]

I am one of the most faithful men in the world. My girlfriend and I had a long distance relationship for nine years. There were times when we would only see each other once or twice a year. And yet in all that time I never cheated once, never even went to a strip club. And this despite the fact that I lived down the street from the most famous strip club in America and literally lived next to a house of prostitution. I guess I am just not the kind of guy who cheats.

But there is something that bothers me. I actually would like to cheat. My girlfriend is the only girl I have ever been with because of my life long social anxiety. There is a big part of me that feels I missed out on something and at times I really would like to know what it is like being with someone else.

What about your strip club blowjob?

<spock>Logically his girlfriend must be the blowjob stripper.</spock>

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

She makes him pay for it?

That'd explain the temptation to cheat.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Lack of experience is probably the number one reason that people end up messing around; it's an understandable feeling, certainly, but a promise is a promise.

I've never done anything like that. Of course, most of my relationships have been quite short, but it goes against my nature in any case.

 

[jamestyler]

Yes. I was quite bad for it when I was younger. I didn't stop until meeting the ex-Mrs T.

It was more out of boredom and lack of self worth more than anything else. Sometimes I'd get into casual relationships and they'd feel more than I would, so I wouldn't class as cheating with the rules/boundaries, they thought differently. Sometimes I was just being a cock.

If what you have now is more important than a quick fumble, it's not worth it. You'll probably feel shit afterwards and if you try and hide it and she finds out... you're fucked.