My original query is: Is it worth all that to go to a convention which has as much infighting as TrekBBS (or online in general)? I would rather not go if that is the case.
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Based on my experience at Shore Leave, conventions are still as fun and friendly as ever. I don't remember any tension or unpleasantness--and that was just a few months after the new movie came out, when you would expect emotions to be at their rawest.
What Greg said. I don't see tension or fighting at cons. On the internet, absolutely, it's easy to be a jerk when one can do it behind an anonymous screen name, but at a con? I don't see anything remotely resembling it. If anything, during panels, any debates are generally well thought out, and it's about the subject, not a person.