HAHA! I have partly solved the mystery of women...

[Emher]

Lies! There are no figuring out women! I thought I had one sort of figured out, but I was wrong, sooo wrong.

We've all been down that path, friend.

First, wow this thread kinda exploded huh?

And yeah, I was kinda down when I wrote that. There's this girl (yuhu rly) that I've been getting close with, and it's not really her fault what's going on. I'm just amazed that I keep falling for girls that juuuuust when I think I've got it made, they utter the "You're such a good friend" line. This truly kills a guy when it's happening for like the tenth time. It's like there's a deity somehwere that's decided Emher can get no nookie, because that would make him happy.

 

[Plecostomus]

This truly kills a guy when it's happening for like the tenth time. It's like there's a deity somehwere that's decided Emher can get no nookie, because that would make him happy.

Sometimes it seems I have an excess of nookie. Next time that happens I'll have my God contact your God and see if we can't arrange something.

 

[JonathonWally]

I was all ready to bring some more topical humor to this thread and comment how I always have to pretend I don't really want to take a gf shopping because "I have to be a macho man type guy"

When, in reality, of course I want to go, I want to see if they got those new black leather loafers in and how those stripped pants will look on me. And how I like seeing her try on all those pretty dresses and stuff, but it's all hidden meaning when I say "you mean i have to get off the couch and miss the rest of the game? grumble grumble"

I think I put on a convincing facade!

 

[blablover5]

You can have whatever thread you want. The thread you suggested however will go one way. You will reduce the men you are talking about to objects and then complain when guys do it to you. No doubt there will be pictures too. Woman in a bikini ? Bad! Man in a towel ? Good!

You know I was all ready to point you in the direction of the tons of This woman is so hot followed by a zillion pictures in the Genre Babes thread but it just isn't worth it especially when I saw this:

In fact it seems that there are less and less women in misc everyday. Now why do you think that is?

Easy question to answer. It's because I haven't been posting as much anymore. I am God's gift to women.

Now where did I put my mirror.....

EC IS BACK! Where have you been hiding? I wonder whatever happened to The Murph and nobody. Those were some great times.

 

[Colonel Green]

Seems to me that many of the posts in this thread could be used to wash down a certain foodstuff...

 

[Plecostomus]

I am logging off and going home now. I expect this thread to be full of humor and mirth tomorrow when I return.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Sorry, I'll be too busy fighting with my girlfriend over whether to watch Spike or Lifetime.

 

[Hoser]

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I'm really glad you put a smiley after that or I'd be reporting my second moderator in the space of two days.

THAT had the capacity to hurt your feelings?? You must not be married.

And I thought I had the lock on "taking things way too seriously".

First, wow this thread kinda exploded huh?

It'd be easier to list the threads around here that DON'T explode.

 

[blablover5]

Sorry, I'll be too busy fighting with my girlfriend over whether to watch Spike or Lifetime.

I find Lifetime much more entertaining if one turns it into a drinking game.

Ooh, someone overcame some hardship take another shot!

 

[Unicron]

Heh, you'd be drunk in no time!

 

[Hermiod]

You know I was all ready to point you in the direction of the tons of This woman is so hot followed by a zillion pictures in the Genre Babes thread but it just isn't worth it especially when I saw this:

Fine, I would have just shown you the pictures in those threads these days of female celebrities in evening dresses and trouser suits taken at movie premieres. Then I would have shown you the one guy who keeps being derogatory towards the ones he doesn't like and how we all keep telling him off for it.

 

[T'Bonz]

I think it's funny to see how totally out of context a simple little joke about men not understanding women is taken. It's just a bit of fun, people!

What you're NOT getting is that for some women, it's NOT FUNNY. It may be a ha-ha joke to you, but all it makes me want to do is kick the guys doing it in the nuts.

Sexism is about as funny as a hemorrhoid.

 

[Hermiod]

I think it's funny to see how totally out of context a simple little joke about men not understanding women is taken. It's just a bit of fun, people!

What you're NOT getting is that for some women, it's NOT FUNNY. It may be a ha-ha joke to you, but all it makes me want to do is kick the guys doing it in the nuts.

Sexism is about as funny as a hemorrhoid.

Yeah, it is.

 

[T'Bonz]

here are more than a few of us, perhaps not on TrekBBS but in general, who feel that fatherhood is being reduced to a cup of sperm and a monthly cheque and that men's role in the development of all children is being purposefully diminished.

That's sad (truly!) but does that mean it's OK to be shitty to women? You feel like you're being dissed, so diss back?

Some jokes aren't funny. Truly. Women get tired of the "It must be PMS" bullshit and many of us don't fit any of the stereotypes. For instance, I swear like a sailor. Why? Girls don't fight with fists, they do with words. I learned early on that swearing backed people the hell off of me. Works like a charm. Not many will challenge me and I LIKE it that way.

As for remote control hogs? That is I, not my husband.

And GO STEELERS.

I flip the bird at stereotypes and generalizations. I bite my thumb at them.

Some women here are telling you that this shit makes them uncomfortable and it should stop.

By the way, this is from Bonz the poster, not Bonz the manager, so take it as that, not as some command from on high.

 

[Hermiod]

That's sad (truly!) but does that mean it's OK to be shitty to women? You feel like you're being dissed, so diss back?

Where have I defended anyone making jokes about women or made them myself ? Criticise me all you want, but criticise me for things I actually did please.

Some jokes aren't funny. Truly. Women get tired of the "It must be PMS" bullshit and many of us don't fit any of the stereotypes. For instance, I swear like a sailor. Why? Girls don't fight with fists, they do with words. I learned early on that swearing backed people the hell off of me. Works like a charm. Not many will challenge me and I LIKE it that way.

As for remote control hogs? That is I, not my husband.

And GO STEELERS.

I flip the bird at stereotypes and generalizations. I bite my thumb at them.

Some women here are telling you that this shit makes them uncomfortable and it should stop.

And I'm telling them the same thing. The anti-male jokes should stop too - you just made one yourself, in case you didn't notice.

but all it makes me want to do is kick the guys doing it in the nuts.

Kicking a man in the testicles is a specifically anti-male act. Don't tell me to stop "this shit" because I'm not the one doing it.

By the way, this is from Bonz the poster, not Bonz the manager, so take it as that, not as some command from on high.

Good to hear that.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

In keeping with obviously working TrekBBS policy of eliminating entire lines of discussion to prevent conflict, I think the board software should filter out all use of gender specific pronouns from future threads and replace them with non-problematic gender neutral terms such as these:

"S/heit" (She/He/It - pronounced "Sheeit")
"Hm/r" (Him/Her - pronounced "Hummer")
"Gay" (Guy/Gal)
"Ml/F" (Male/Female - pronounced "Milf")

These gender disagreements should clear right up and we can get back to a 100% conflict free Miscellaneous in no time.

 

[Rii]

I think it's funny to see how totally out of context a simple little joke about men not understanding women is taken. It's just a bit of fun, people!

What you're NOT getting is that for some women, it's NOT FUNNY. It may be a ha-ha joke to you, but all it makes me want to do is kick the guys doing it in the nuts.

The joke that forms the subject of this thread?

As a general rule I don't find humour that makes statements regarding (or relies upon stereotypes of) classes of people amusing, but the OP made me laugh. Not because the joke is about women, but because it's a ridiculous hypothesis that nonetheless fits the data points as observed, an indirect commentary on the surreal nature of the OP's experiences. It wouldn't work quite as well with men in place of women (as it draws upon the stereotype that men don't understand women whereas the equivalent stereotype is that women understand men all too well because there's not much to understand) but if it had been about men it would've been amusing too. It's the structure of the joke itself that makes it work, the subject isn't particularly important.

From BtVS 2x15, "Pangs":

Giles: Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and-and aggressive.
Buffy: In other words, your typical male.
Xander: On behalf of my gender, hey!
Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there the conclusions were.

As a male I could take offence at this, but I don't because it's a funny joke, it still makes me laugh just reading it off the page. It's the final two lines, working with the common phrase "jump/leap to conclusions" that make the joke funny. Change the subject, it's still funny.

Similarly:

This black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow!" says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.

This joke is also funny. Not because it's about blacks, but because it subverts the expectations of the audience. Change the subject, it's still funny. Indeed, there are dozens of variations on this joke, even some that aren't based on race or sex or class, and they're all about as funny as each other.

Here's one that cats might take offence to. Except, y'know, it's true.

 

[Hermiod]

As a male I could take offence at this, but I don't because it's a funny joke, it still makes me laugh just reading it off the page. It's the final two lines, working with the common phrase "jump/leap to conclusions" that make the joke funny. Change the subject, it's still funny.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer did, however, provide us with the single most quotable line of all time when a woman makes a generalisation about men.

Anya: "We could watch sports of some kind."
Xander: "Uh, I don't know."
Anya: "Men like sports. I'm sure of it."
Xander: "Yes, men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that's all you've learned?"

 

[Deckerd]

Well I am a highly aggressive manly-man... and even I know that my function is little more than a mobile DNA storage and high-pressure injection pump.

That's so hot!