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Amaris
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I remember frying up potatoes and catching them on fire. By the time I got the fire under control, they were all little charcoal briquettes. Tasted that way, too.
Good, GOD, VILE SUBSTANCES!
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^
Caramel? What the hell did you do to it?
Much like the liquid smoke / vanilla extract confusion, let's just say that when making a roux, it's somewhat essential to ensure that you've added flour, not sugar.
My mother did exactly the same thing one time when she was making chicken paprika. After that incident, she kept the paprika and the cayenne pepper in separate cabinets.. . . this reminds me of a time my mom was making the breading for schnitzel, and used cayenne powder instead of paprika. That made the recipe a little zippier than normal...
Not if you bread a cheap cube steak and pan-fry it. Hell, that's about all cube steak is good for.
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Caramel? What the hell did you do to it?
Much like the liquid smoke / vanilla extract confusion, let's just say that when making a roux, it's somewhat essential to ensure that you've added flour, not sugar.
Did something similar myself, but not with sugar. I added salt. Took me forever to realize why the hell it wasn't thickening.
In my defense, in our restaurant, the sugar, salt, and flour was stored in under counter, pull out bins.
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Amaris
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My mother did exactly the same thing one time when she was making chicken paprika. After that incident, she kept the paprika and the cayenne pepper in separate cabinets.. . . this reminds me of a time my mom was making the breading for schnitzel, and used cayenne powder instead of paprika. That made the recipe a little zippier than normal...Not if you bread a cheap cube steak and pan-fry it. Hell, that's about all cube steak is good for.
I remember having a swiss steak covered in tomatoes and onions. It was delicious, and it was the only time in my life I had eaten any meat that was not "well done".
My mother did exactly the same thing one time when she was making chicken paprika. After that incident, she kept the paprika and the cayenne pepper in separate cabinets.. . . this reminds me of a time my mom was making the breading for schnitzel, and used cayenne powder instead of paprika. That made the recipe a little zippier than normal...Not if you bread a cheap cube steak and pan-fry it. Hell, that's about all cube steak is good for.
Sorry, I'm kind of a steak snob. My dad is the assistant manager of a meat-packing plant, so I grew up eating Prime steak several times a week. I bought a "cheap steak" at the grocery store once, and I thought it was absolute garbage.
I tried to make pudding from scratch once. BIG MISTAKE. I ended up with scrambled eggs in the mix.
Well, there's your problem - to make pudding from scratch, one must first create the universe.
(Apologies to Carl Sagan.)
My only funny cooking story came about when I was about 10, and I was visiting my grandmother. She came up with the idea of making chocolate mousse. One thing after another went wrong. She poured the milk into the sugar bowl, then dumped half a pound of sugar all over the floor while trying to refill the bowl after washing and drying it. I don't remember all of the rest of the day, but I do remember that it was like soup in the fridge, and harder than stone if put into the freezer.
(My grandmother was actually a pretty sharp woman - I don't know what was going on that day that had her so distracted. Maybe she was just laughing too hard over the milk/sugar thing to concentrate.)
Sweet tea and deep frying? OP (Trekker), you must also be a Southerner. 
I'm very absent-minded, because I'm always daydreaming about something. If I'm not devoting full attention to a task, chances are I'm doing it on auto-pilot because I'm familiar with a routine way of doing it. If I do anything out of the ordinary during that routine, it'll throw everything off.
Just a few weeks ago, I was baking a cake for my father-in-law. Now usually, I grease my pans before I begin, but I didn't that day. I told myself I had to remember to spray them before pouring the batter in.
What do I do? I finish mixing and pour the batter right in. Sigh.
So I poured the batter back into the bowl, and washed and dried the pans. No big deal. Except I actually poured the batter in yet again without greasing them first. I was livid with myself by this point. I finally managed to return the batter to the bowl, wash and dry the pans, and grease them.
I felt like a complete idiot, but the cake came out great.
I'm very absent-minded, because I'm always daydreaming about something. If I'm not devoting full attention to a task, chances are I'm doing it on auto-pilot because I'm familiar with a routine way of doing it. If I do anything out of the ordinary during that routine, it'll throw everything off.
Just a few weeks ago, I was baking a cake for my father-in-law. Now usually, I grease my pans before I begin, but I didn't that day. I told myself I had to remember to spray them before pouring the batter in.
What do I do? I finish mixing and pour the batter right in. Sigh.
So I poured the batter back into the bowl, and washed and dried the pans. No big deal. Except I actually poured the batter in yet again without greasing them first. I was livid with myself by this point. I finally managed to return the batter to the bowl, wash and dry the pans, and grease them.
I felt like a complete idiot, but the cake came out great.
I made a big pot of chicken and vegetable stew when I was a young bachelor. We were having a party that night and I was making it for the next day's meal. I had bought canned chicken as a quick cheat and, while drinking and partying, opened the cans and dumped them in. The stuff simmered for a few hours and someone asked if the food was fair game. I'd made tons and said, "Sure."
Did you know that canned chicken and canned tunafish look almost exactly alike?
Did you know that canned chicken and canned tunafish look almost exactly alike?
Sweet tea and deep frying? OP (Trekker), you must also be a Southerner.
Midwesterner. But I do love me some fried foods, I'm something of legend in these parts (the board) for deep-frying a bacon cheeseburger.
Yes, I deep-fried a fucking cheeseburger!
I've just always liked sweet iced tea and fried foods are awesome (and not nearly as unhealthy as some would want you to believe.)
My dad has made mistakes in the past too when it comes to cooking, he's notorious for jumping head-long into things without think through completely. He was making banana bread once (they over buy bananas and when they go black they make bread out of them) and, well, he got jumbled up in doubling the recipe for two loaves instead of one and, well, they ended up being banana bread bricks. Fuckers were dense.
One Thanksgiving, as I was conversing with my Uncles after dinner, I grabbed the gravy boat, thinking it was the milk pitcher and added a nice blob of gravy to my tea.
Oh, where do I begin?
I turned scrambled eggs into charcoal pellets, what should have been carmelized onions into mourning ribbons (think, black, and fragile), half a steak into carbon, BBQ chicken breast into a shriveled lump of coal, and hard boiled eggs that came out grey and a little runny...
That was, however, when I was just beginning to cook.
I turned scrambled eggs into charcoal pellets, what should have been carmelized onions into mourning ribbons (think, black, and fragile), half a steak into carbon, BBQ chicken breast into a shriveled lump of coal, and hard boiled eggs that came out grey and a little runny...
That was, however, when I was just beginning to cook.
Around here we call that deep frying. Don't you guys have fried eggs, or do you submerge them in oil too?
^ Yeah, it's funny how revolting it can be when you drink a beverage thinking it's something else, even if it's something you would drink anyway.
I recently took of sip of water thinking it was Sprite and for a split second it was like I'd had a gulp of urine or something.
I recently took of sip of water thinking it was Sprite and for a split second it was like I'd had a gulp of urine or something.
I'm usually pretty careful when I cook, so nothing like this has happened to me that I can remember.
However, when I get up in the morning, describing myself as a "self-aware being" is only technically true and I frequently get bottles mixed up. If I confuse shampoo with body wash, it's not a big deal. If I confuse after shave gel with tooth paste, that's not as fun.
However, when I get up in the morning, describing myself as a "self-aware being" is only technically true and I frequently get bottles mixed up. If I confuse shampoo with body wash, it's not a big deal. If I confuse after shave gel with tooth paste, that's not as fun.
Indeed. Frying and Deep Frying are two different things.
Around here we call that deep frying. Don't you guys have fried eggs, or do you submerge them in oil too?
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Amaris
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Probably a common enough story, but I made brownie adamantium the other day. They looked all warm and fluffy right out of the oven, but soon after transformed into the hardest material known to man. With walnuts.
^ No, fruitcake is the hardest substance known to man. 
A
Amaris
Guest
^ No, fruitcake is the hardest substance known to man.
My brownies could have cut through a dozen fruitcakes. I'm fairly certain they had attained a gravity well at some point.
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