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Generic parody thread

kathryn i am said:
Random post by long-time member hoping for others to clamour at said long-time member's return. Reminiscing about "the good old days". Allusion to in-joke from three years ago. Question concerning another long-time poster's presence on the board now (or lack thereof).
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Obligatory clamor. Huge grin graemlin. Query as to identity of another long-time poster, in attempt to determine whether answer is known to this poster.
 
Lament over the absence of one-off TOS characters, specifically Kirk's best friend who gained god powers in Where No Man Has Gone Before, and the Irish bully in Shore Leave. Characters ironically labeled as possessing "depth and complexity" and their importance exaggerated, despite being minor players in the overall Trek lore. Accusation that JJ Abrams and writing partners ho no knowledge of Trek's essentials. Claim that childhood has been sexually violated. Threat to boycott the movie.
 
Sentence-by-sentence deconstruction of The Wormhole's post. Smug closing statement. Winking smilie. Assertation that The Wormhole is trolling us, and that I will not play his game. Remark indicating my belief that he is not a true Trek fan, as I am.
 
Quote of entire above post. Use of letters "Q", "F" and "T" to indicate agreement. Smiley.
 
Herkimer Jitty said:
Sentence-by-sentence deconstruction of The Wormhole's post. Smug closing statement. Winking smilie. Assertation that The Wormhole is trolling us, and that I will not play his game. Remark indicating my belief that he is not a true Trek fan, as I am.
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Self-righteous and indignant statement of being a Trek fan since childhood. Uses fact of never having scored with a girl as proof of being a Trek fan. To emphasize this fact, brackets containing within in all caps, Spock's line from The Cage after female officers disappear from the transporter room.

After a few sentences of incoherant nonsense, referance to the Enterprise's supposed first captain, the one in the TAS episode. Assertation that he should be in the movie. Yet another accusation of JJ Abrams having no kowledge of Trek's essentials. Referance to Gene Roddenberry which practically makes him into a deity. Bold statement of belief that Rick Berman did know how to produce Star Trek. Positive comment about Brannon Braga, as well.
 
Prefaces post with useless information about my history as a fan. Defends Gene Roddenbirdy.
 
Arrogant reminder of my own existence, in case anyone forgot about me, the guy who only posted two posts above. Repeating beliefs of supposed flaws in the new movie. Derogatory comment towards non-Trek fans who may decide to see this movie. Comparison of these people to "insects" and "vermin." Declaration of being a "pure Trek fan," which unintentionally betrays my own insecurities. Complaint about parents' basement being cold.
 
Bitter invective aimed scattershot at several earlier (and completely unrelated) posts. Multiple exclamation points. Angry emoticon.


Non-sequitur reference to "Topic Title" thread.
 
Declaration that if The Wormhole has a problem with me, that we should take our conflict to the TNZ and fight like real men.

With straw-man arguments and insults about each other's mothers.
 
Comment unrelated to prior posts. Useless, supposedly witty comment about a post pages back. Expectation that people will pay attention to me.
 
Amused quip about TNZ now being obtainable via BitTorrent or PirateBay. Laughing graemlin.
 
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