I know exactly what you mean.Its an opinion I formed based on observation. People like being "the smartest person in the room" and having knowledge that others seem to lack.He says, from the highest or horses.Makes them feel superior.
- In all instances of Time Travel through the singularity, the ships involved had the possibility of protecting themselves from destruction before passing through/around the singularity itself, and thus remained intact through the "white hole" on the other side.
- In cases where a Star, Planet or Spacecraft is presumed destroyed, there was no capability via shielding or warp bubbles to protect said objects/vessels.
- Red Matter appears to be destabilized by extreme heat, since the 3 occasions in which a Singularity is generated, it is via accompanied by a heat source (Hobus Star, Vulcan's Core and the Jellyfish colliding with the Narada).
All of these attributes are consistent within the story, and the drilling to a planet's core to deliver the Red Matter to destroy said planet makes sense as a usage method.
The Red Matter and Black Hole has been consistent in it's behaviour from what I saw.
Seriously, though, it's not the black hole deciding. In the case of the black hole which swallowed the Hobus star/superdupernova, the Narada and the Jellyfish were too close when the black hole was formed and were drawn into the associated wormhole, while at the end of the movie, the black hole was formed inside the Narada, using its and the Jellyfish's matter. It's a matter of relative position: "we're traveling whole through a conduit triggered by the formation of a black hole made of this other matter" versus "whoops, we're imploding, because the black hole is being made of us!"
I'm no physicist nor do I play one on the internet, but time travel via blackhole/wormhole/Einstein-Rosen Bridge is something that has been theorized so I don't see a problem with the red matter created hole doing just that. A black hole can also "kill" you according to current theories, again no problem with the red matter created hole doing that. So yes there are at least two possibilities when interacting with a black hole: death or time travel. I guess the result would depend on the nature of the interaction.