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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

Grading


  • Total voters
    91
I'd totally be up for a sequel so long as they give CC a better looking mask. That being said, I really hope they learn their lesson from Transformers 2 about shitty sequels. It's Stephen Sommers after all, and I'm not quite sure this film isn't a fluke as far as his movie-making ability goes. Because after Transformers 1, I was more then willing to take back all the bad stuff I had said about Micheal Bay.
 
I thought that it was great. It really did have a GI JOE feel to it and really did tribute to a franchise that was all about stopping world domination with ridiculous gadgets and weapons.

It not only had an underwater base, but also a base under the desert. That is like double-win.
 
I thought that it was great. It really did have a GI JOE feel to it and really did tribute to a franchise that was all about stopping world domination with ridiculous gadgets and weapons.

It not only had an underwater base, but also a base under the desert. That is like double-win.


Oh God yes, that was some of the best stuff.
I saw the underwater base and I yelled out in the theater "Oh my God! An underwater base! kickass!". I figured I'd be shushed but instead I got a lot of "wooo!"s in return. :D


J.
 
Just watched this movie. Worse than Wolverine. Worse than Terminator Salvation. I'm all for braindead popcorn flicks, but don't lobotomize the audience in the process.

And if he could, Stephen Sommers would probably have sex with his CGI.

Rachel Nichols and Sienna Miller were hot though. And Quaid was good in a thankless role.
 
Just watched this movie. Worse than Wolverine. Worse than Terminator Salvation. I'm all for braindead popcorn flicks, but don't lobotomize the audience in the process.

Now I'll never claim it's Citizen Kane, but there is no way in Hell it's worse then Wolverine or Terminator:Salvation. For one, it knows it's a bad, stupid movie and has fun with it. The others actually thought they were good. And this is coming from someone who usually hates Stephen Sommers films.
 
I thought it was a lot of fun. WTF was up with Eccleston's accent, though? :lol:

My only demand for a sequel is more of Rachel Nichols running around in tight outfits.
 
You know, they had Storm Shadow stripping during a fight; who knows how this movie would've been received if the Baroness and Scarlett stripped during their fight. :)
 
Below Average, and mostly because there was so much shitty CGI.

Channing Tatum was amazing...in that he was out-acted by both a Wayans brother and a guy in full-body rubber suit. Then again, Duke always was a generic american male lug.

Who the fuck cast Jonathan Pryce as an American president? I mean, really.

Destro never said the trailer line "Whut didja say tha name of yoor yoo-nit was?"

Hawk: "I didn't."

Best scenes:

I like when Batman tossed the coins into the air and Two-Face fumbled and fell to a watery grave.

And then Lando and Wedge blew up the base's power core.

When Bond ignored Q's technical advice.
 
I was having too much fun to notice. :D
Of course, I thought it was cool that the Ninth Doctor ended up being Destro. ;)


J.
 
You know what is really absurd.

All those nanomites can do, but they can't restore the Doctor's face?

They can devour metal, expell poison, brainwash people, make Zartan change faces. But repairing lungs and facial reconstruction is too much, or maybe the Doc likes to look like shit.

Also, I like the scene where it's revealed that Senator Kelly is really Mystique. :p
 
Below Average, and mostly because there was so much shitty CGI.

Have you ever seen Van Helsing or The Mummy Returns? The CGI in this movie makes those look like The T-Rex in Jurassic Park. Bad CGI is what Sommers is known for, so I went in expecting it.
 
Below Average, and mostly because there was so much shitty CGI.

Have you ever seen Van Helsing or The Mummy Returns? The CGI in this movie makes those look like The T-Rex in Jurassic Park. Bad CGI is what Sommers is known for, so I went in expecting it.

Yes, and I went to see this anyway just because I've been a G.I. JOE for a long time.

Expecting something doesn't necessarily excuse it.

There was good CGI in the film, but significant bad CGI, too.
 
That killed the movie for me is how very small they made the universe.

How small they made the universe? Hell, DC and Moscow are next door neighbors in this movie! :p

You know what I mean...

GI Joe...ESPECIALLY this GI Joe is a global entity yet has only 6 people to traverse the globe? Really?

At least some shout outs would be nice...like Hawk saying he's sending Snow Job, Frostbite, and Avalanche up to help or Wet Suit and Torpedo and Deep Six were coming to help under the ocean. Don't even really need to see them IMO.

Or Ace, Barrel Roll and Slipstream to back up Ripcord.
 
Destro never said the trailer line "Whut didja say tha name of yoor yoo-nit was?"

Hawk: "I didn't."

Hawk's 'make the call' line was also absent and so was Baroness' sneering 'Real American heroes' in Paris'.
 
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