Funny One-Sentence Summaries of TNG Episodes

[MonoLake82]

Hi guys. I've been re-watching TNG recently. Decided to watch "Sub Rosa" because...I had watched most of the good TNG episodes. So I'll start.

"Sub Rosa"
#1: Beverly has sex with the ghost of the lover of her recently dead grandmother.

#2: Geordi and Data decide to do some gravedigging.

Let's keep this going!

 

[Oddish]

FIRST SEASON:

Encounter at Farpoint: They call it Farpoint Station, but it's really a kidnapped space jellyfish.

The Naked Now: We find out just how fully functional Data is, even though "it never happened".

When the Bough Breaks: Wes gets kidnapped off the Enterprise, and we're supposed to think this is a bad thing.

Lonely Among Us: Picard goes on interstellar walkabout.

11001001: Enterprise gets swiped by purple computerized androgynes.

Conspiracy: Admiral with bug in skull beats the crap out of everybody.

 

[DonIago]

Best of Both Worlds: Picard Becomes a Robot. 1/10 Does Not Recommend.

 

[Farscape One]

This sounds like fun.

"Where Silence Has Lease" - A damned ugly nothing plays deadly games with the Enterprise crew.

"Q Who" - Humility costs lives.

"Brothers" - Data proves he is not less perfect than Lore by taking over the Enterprise.

"Disaster" - Data heads to Engineering.

 

[Oddish]

SEASON TWO:

The Child: Troi experiences motherhood at warp speed.

Where Silence Has Lease: A giant floating space head does some crazy psychological experiments on the Enterprise crew.

Elementary Dear Data: The ship's computer demonstrates the ability to create sentient life, while somehow not being sentient itself.

Loud as a Whisper: Some deaf guy's chorus of thought translators get zapped by skeletonizing ray guns.

More S2 later.

 

[DonIago]

"Parallels" - Worf has the worst birthday ever.

 

[Farscape One]

"Schisms" - Click click click click click, click... CLICK CLICK!

 

[Oddish]

"Schisms" - Click click click click click, click... CLICK CLICK!

But is that a sentence?

THE SCHIZOID MAN: Data's grandpa does the Body Snatcher thing.

UNNATURAL SELECTION: We find out that the transporter is actually an immortality machine.

THE MEASURE OF A MAN: Picard battles Riker in Legal Kombat, and it's frickin' awesome.

THE DAUPHIN: Wesley gets hot for a shapeshifter chick.

THE ROYALE: Data buys a hotel.

THE ICARUS FACTOR: Riker's systematic destruction of his own career continues...

Q WHO: Let's go meet the Borg.

UP THE LONG LADDER: Hey, Riker, killing your own clone is still murder!

PEAK PERFORMANCE: Picard and Riker get to face off again... then the Ferengi muck it all up and they have to work together (again) to deal with it.

SHADES OF GRAY: Riker gets bit by a plant, and has some really weird dreams.

 

[Qonundrum]

Samaritan Snare: Crewman gets kidnapped by people who steal others' technology


The Best of Both Worlds: Crewman gets kidnapped by people who steal others' technology


Concerning Flight: Crewman gets kidnapped by people who steal others' technology, even if it's the computer-generated hologram one

 

[Ragitsu]

Samaritan Snare: Crewman gets kidnapped by people who steal others' technology


The Best of Both Worlds: Crewman gets kidnapped by people who steal others' technology


Concerning Flight: Crewman gets kidnapped by people who steal others' technology, even if it's the computer-generated hologram one

One of these things is not like the other...

 

[Ragitsu]

"The Price": Troi mistakes a man for chocolate.

 

[Qonundrum]

One of these things is not like the other...

Oops. I misread "Generation" for "General" again...

"The Price": Troi mistakes a man for chocolate.

The type one licks, or the type one takes a big ol' bite out of?

 

[Farscape One]

But is that a sentence?

It most certainly is. Look at the punctuation marks.

 

[Oddish]

Evolution: Wesley accidentally creates a new species... oh, and his mom comes back.

The Ensigns of Command: Data encourages some people to relocate.

Who Watches the Watchers: Picard proves rather dramatically that he isn't a god.

The Bonding: Worf quasi-adopts a kid, who promptly vanishes.

The Vengeance Factor: Riker, you idiot, just tell O'Brien to beam her to the brig!

 

[Ragitsu]

"The Loss": Shallow thinking saves the day.

"Disaster": Riker gets head from Data.

 

[Whizkid]

All Good Things...: Sir Patrick Stewart finally admits his age (only to renege 25 years later).

 

[Qonundrum]

The Game - Troi does it on a Sundae, Wesley returns and guess who saves the day?

Conspiracy - Don't eat the seafood, it bites back!

Justice - Wesley, after making crude hand gestures to a group of strangers, falls into a flower bed and is promptly given the death penalty for doing so

Hide & Q - Riker gives the crew what they desire, Wesley gets skewered, so tune in to find out if these incidents are related, next time on "Staaaaaaaaaar Trek The Next Generation!"

The Naked Now - Similar to that old series story of a similar name but it's the Now version for a modern audience!

 

[Farscape One]

"Genesis" - To find out how much the crew can really save by switching to Geico, Riker joins the cavemen.

"Captain's Holiday" - Indiana Jones is jealous that this treasure hunt didn't involve snakes.

"Family" - Emmy worthy mud wrestling, next time on STAAAAAAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION!

 

[DonIago]

"I, Borg" - It's okay to be part of a genocidal hive mind if you're a child and can still be taught.

 

[Qonundrum]

"Skin of Evil" - the crew are threatened by a giant mixture of oil and metamucil

"Pen Pals" - In response to a distress call over a phenomenon that may destroy a planet, robot impresses anti-robot doctor by saying the biological life forms should live, all while Picard out-robots everyone by saying "Let them die, it is the logical choice in our big book called 'Prime Directive, with chapter on Prime Numbers, as written by Optimus Prime and sold on-- Staaaaar Trek The Next Generation!"

"In Theory"- A story that proves that Data isn't as fully functional after all

"The Masterpiece Society" - Just watch "Pen Pals" instead

"I, Borg" - Picard is given the chance to let the Borg all die in a recursive loop, for which even Kirk (The Guy who nags computers to death by doing similar things) would be impressed, but lets him feel things up instead.

"The Next Phase" - Nobody sees through the Romulans' transparent ploy except for the undead