Fix an episode----Obsession

[Grant]

Fix an episode----Obsession.

I am not a writer and I don’t pretend I know more than the guys who wrote the original series, BUT (LOL) I do feel that some episodes are close but no cigar when it comes to logic and writing.

Case in point--Obsession. As a kid I loved the horror/monster aspect of the episode and I liked the fact that Kirk was at odds with the command crew about staying on the planet. But as the years passed and I became more aware of the rules that TPTB had themselves put in place I just thought too many liberties were taken and the climax was too on the nose.

My issues. ….
It is the same exact creature as Kirk fought before
Kirk has it exactly right about it’s danger to the Federation
Kirk’s obsession is 100% justified so he was actually acting logically
The creature is capable of extreme warp speeds, interstellar travel and is invulnerable to everything except anti-matter and ventilation fans.

So a few changes at the script level that would have not affected the budget too much….

My changes……

Instead of looking for a rare mineral--the landing party consists of blue shirts who are making a final survey of a planet that is to be colonized. Spock notes there is abundant plant-life but the planet lacks any large animal life forms.

(In other words the vampire cloud(s) has killed all the animal life forms for food and has gone into hibernation until it detects the landing party--the previous survey/landing parties had visited other parts of the planet.)

It plays out the same for the first two acts…
Creature kills the science crewmen
Kirk smells the creatures scent and becomes obsessed
Kirk orders Garrovick to hunt the creature
Spock, McCoy and Scott complain about the rendevous and assure Kirk Starfleet will make sure the planet is safe before allowing colonization.
Kirk balks and insists the creature is capable of camouflaging itself and may do so again and kill the colonists eventually.

The second half of the episode goes like this……..
The creature now revived and hungry gets aboard the enterprise by clinging to some equipment being beamed up or by clinging to a shuttlecraft (I know dragging out the shuttle costs money)
Creature kills more crewmen and eventually is forced from the ship back to the surface where the Kirk and Garrovick kill it with the anti-matter weapon----leaving out the silly sacrifice bit.

The gains for me in this version are….

1. It NOT a simple clear cut--”It’s the same exact creature and Kirk avenges Capt Garrovick and his shipmates!!”
--No it’s a similar equally deadly creature.
2. There are no logic defying powers demonstrated by the creature including warp 8 speeds and the ability to break thru the ships shields
--The creature has formidable abilities but none that would seem impossible to evolve naturally (at least in sci-fi terms)
3. Kirk’s actions in destroying the planet’s atmosphere would potentially put him in hot water with Starfleet and there would be some doubt as to whether he was justified.
So maybe Kirk was Obsessed and maybe he was justified and saved lives.
For me, Garrovick jamming the vent switch, Spock using his hands to cover the vent, reversing the ventilation to pull the creature out of the room (really?) and the creature being pretty much more powerful than the ship are all just eye-rolling parts that take me out of the episode.

And I guess it’s unrealistic for 1960s TV but to end it this way……

”you’re going to have a devil of a time justifying to Starfleet Command, that you’ve made the planet uninhabitable, Jim!”
“It’s better than risking the lives of countless colonists--especially if there were more of those creatures laying dormant down there.”

……………………………….....Seems like a very cool thing for the audience to ponder at the end.

Any thoughts?
Do you enjoy the episode just as it stands?

Any of the suggestions sound positive?
I’d love to see other folks do similar “improvements” to their “borderline” episodes.
The downside is that the person re-writes almost the entire episode and it takes a loooong time to read and it doesn’t resemble the episode in question anymore! LOL

Hopefully I didn’t fall into that trap.

 

[Warped9]

Maybe I'm missing something, but if the creature isn't capable of interstellar travel then it would be relegated to only one planet. And therefore Starfleet would already know of the creature's existence on the planet because half the Farragut's crew had already died there. So the planet probably wouldn't be a good candidate for colonization. Having the creature capable of interstellar travel means you can never know where it might turn up.

I don't have any problem with the episode as is.

 

[Grant]

Maybe I'm missing something, but if the creature isn't capable of interstellar travel then it would be relegated to only one planet. And therefore Starfleet would already know of the creature's existence on the planet because half the Farragut's crew had already died there. So the planet probably wouldn't be a good candidate for colonization. Having the creature capable of interstellar travel means you can never know where it might turn up.

I don't have any problem with the episode as is.

I guess I wasn't clear enough......

It's not the same planet nor is it the same creature.
It is a similar creature on a totally different world.
Kirk becomes obsessed after the first attack because it is so similar to what happened to him years earlier.

I despise the fact that the creature can travel from planet to planet at warp speeds exceeding the Enterprise and that it is the EXACT SAME CREATURE that attacked the Farragut.

Those things at the end of the filmed version make it seem Kirk was 100% right in staying, fighting and delaying his other mission with the ADDED ice cream on top that the creature was about to spawn...

So in effect----Holy cow thank god Kirk did what he did against this galactic menace!

I find the ending too pat and in effect kirk was not obsessed but simply had great intuition.

For me, to have Kirk become actually obsessed by a similar creature and go against orders is more intriguing.

If you like the fact that some creature can evolve naturally the ability to travel at warp speeds and penetrate a starship shields and be invulnerable to phasers and that Kirk was right all along and the others were misjudging him.......

then the episode works perfectly for you.

Just curious--up to that point what creature in TOS or after that was capable of multi warp speeds? Spock states in Lights Of Zetar that no natural phenomenon can travel faster than light. Certainly the cloud isn't some super intelligence that has devised for itself the ability to travel at warp speeds. It seems to be an instinctual predator. I find it ludicrous that they decided to make this creature so incredibly powerful.

For the sake of the story I feel that make it hard to kill to the point where they need to use anti-matter is a big enough stretch without giving all those other incredible powers.

 

[BillJ]

If you like the fact that some creature can evolve naturally the ability to travel at warp speeds and penetrate a starship shields and be invulnerable to phasers and that Kirk was right all along and the others were misjudging him.......

then the episode works perfectly for you.

The episode works perfectly for me as entertainment. Which is what it was presented as.

Kirk is the hero of Star Trek and does heroic things.

 

[Grant]

If you like the fact that some creature can evolve naturally the ability to travel at warp speeds and penetrate a starship shields and be invulnerable to phasers and that Kirk was right all along and the others were misjudging him.......

then the episode works perfectly for you.

The episode works perfectly for me as entertainment. Which is what it was presented as.

Kirk is the hero of Star Trek and does heroic things.

It works for me up to the point where it pretty much violates all logical parameters set up by the creators of the show.

And yeah Kirk is the hero and does heroic things. Every time? There is never any gray area as to whether he does/did the right thing?

The way I changed it--he probably still is the hero (saving the colonists from potential attack), but he has gone against orders to be the hero.

Is that NOT Kirk?

 

[HarryM]

I think as a story it works as is. There is some logical problems though. A creature that can travel into space and FTL would need a better power source than blood so maybe having it restricted to a planet's vicinity would be better. The "vampire" aspect is a little over the top. Maybe death could be a biproduct of a greater process at work, not "blood for fuel".

"Lights of Zetar" they completely forget this episode when observing/reacting to the "lights" moving FTL.

This does have one of my favorite scenes in all of Trek in terms of acting/dialog/music especially the part before Spock comes in and it gets a little more wordy and we lose the music. The angry/tense part with Kirk and McCoy is perfect.

https://youtu.be/FpUVaFFjC2M?t=20m10s

 

[Warped9]

If such a creature or similar ones can exist on multiple planets that in itself seems a stretch of logic.

Personally I've long had the idea that the creature could have been something someone created somewhere and now it's on the loose. Think of it as a sort of bio-engineered doomsday machine. It can disguise itself and is incredibly difficult to kill. More than a decade before we had the xenomorph in Alien TOS had this cloud creature.

If it's something artificially created then that could somewhat rationalize its incredible abilities.

 

[Ssosmcin]

Ya know, none of that stuff bothers me. One of my all time favorite shows is Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. The average episode of that series makes "Spock's Brain" look like a scientific journal, so really, light speed life forms that can phase in and out of our dimension, get sucked out an air vent (and that they even have open air vents on a starship) and be the exact creature Kirk fought as a young officer is fine by me. As long as I'm entertained, I am an undemanding sort of person. Star Trek, like all things Irwin Allen and Gerry Anderson, gets a pass.

YMMV

 

[Marsden]

Don't misunderstand my response, I enjoyed your post(s) and it was interesting to think about, but:

I don't have any problem with the episode as is.

+1

Kirk is the hero of Star Trek and does heroic things.

Super +1!

So in effect----Kirk did what he did against this galactic menace!

Yes, we owe him much. Kirk does have incredible intuition that seems to allow him to survive things or as a lot of others have pointed out, "show up second" so that what has befallen ships like Intrepid and Constellation didn't happen to Enterprise.

Yes, he is just that good.

And I'm going to say this seriously but it's going to sound silly, but the best weapon to contain that monster would be a giant vacuum cleaner like in Spaceballs. It's a gas cloud and poking holes in smoke doesn't hurt the smoke. But a fan can blow it away, not injure it, but make it move.

Mr. Spock also stated that it had some kind of phasing ability that allowed the phasers to pass thru it and allow it to move that fast. So again, I don't have a problem with the vents and Mr. Spock really wasn't stopping it with his hands, he was trying to do so.
What I didn't like was the only time Scotty needs to have a vent open is Star Trek history is the time they're fighting a gaseous monster.

I would just add, one more small line of dialogue like "how many men did we lose?" would have been a bit better in the end, as per our recent discussion in the handling death thread.

 

[BillJ]

...but he has gone against orders to be the hero.

Is that NOT Kirk?

But doesn't he do that in the episode? Not keeping a rendezvous with the Yorktown for personal reasons seems to me like going against orders. It may not be brazen like Jim Kirk stealing the Enterprise, but he is going against orders.

 

[Grant]

So if you have to come up with some reason in 2015 as to why it can travel at warp 8 that means it wasn't flawed in 1967?

Oh yeah, it's a created biological weapon--why it's an organic Doomsday machine--no one knows who created it or why! LOL.

And it's a stretch that two planets could evolve a blood consuming cloud---but it's not a stretch that their are dozens of humanoid in fact identically human races?

 

[Poltargyst]

So if you have to come up with some reason in 2015 as to why it can travel at warp 8 that means it wasn't flawed in 1967?

Oh yeah, it's a created biological weapon--why it's an organic Doomsday machine--no one knows who created it or why! LOL.

And it's a stretch that two planets could evolve a blood consuming cloud---but it's not a stretch that their are dozens of humanoid in fact identically human races?

I seem to remember Spock explaining to McCoy that there was an ancient race who travelled through the galaxy colonizing various planets as they went as a way of explaining why there are so many human/humanoid races. I'm good with that explanation.

Not sure why two planets would have the same blood-sucking gas creature unless gas creatures were somehow transported to the other planet.

 

[Grant]

So if you have to come up with some reason in 2015 as to why it can travel at warp 8 that means it wasn't flawed in 1967?

Oh yeah, it's a created biological weapon--why it's an organic Doomsday machine--no one knows who created it or why! LOL.

And it's a stretch that two planets could evolve a blood consuming cloud---but it's not a stretch that their are dozens of humanoid in fact identically human races?

I seem to remember Spock explaining to McCoy that there was an ancient race who travelled through the galaxy colonizing various planets as they went as a way of explaining why there are so many human/humanoid races. I'm good with that explanation.

Not sure why two planets would have the same blood-sucking gas creature unless gas creatures were somehow transported to the other planet.

Actually that's not a bad theory.

I rather like the idea the creature or one of the same species from the Farragut incident did hitch a ride on a ship and make it to the planet seen in Obsession.

I like that a whole lot better than it having been engineered to have warp 8 speeds and the ability to penetrate shields.

Also, what if the "preservers" seeded more than humanoid races. What if they of another such race had the audacity to pant the cloud creature on another planet?

What--only humanoid races need preserving from extinction?

 

[BillJ]

So if you have to come up with some reason in 2015 as to why it can travel at warp 8 that means it wasn't flawed in 1967?

I really have never needed a reason for its ability to travel warp 8. No more than I needed to know where the matter came from/or goes to for the duplicate Kirk in "The Enemy Within".

It's Star Trek! I sit back and enjoy the ride.

 

[Grant]

To me the internal logic/rules of the show matter.

A living creature that can travel at warp 8 in the context of TOS just will never work for me.

For others it may not make a bit of difference.

I also hate that in many episodes they say the engines are about to explode when they go at warp 8 or 9 for too long and then in another episode they travel at warp 14 for several minutes.

No I don't want to come up with my own reason why they can in that particular episode--I would like the writing to be consistent.

They made the rules and it wouldn't have been too hard for them to stay within them back then if they cared or if they had the time.

I say they were too rushed and would have fixed many of these "flaws" if they had had the time. So I'm thinking what the could have improved the episodes without making gigantic changes or breaking their strict budget.

If you either like or dislike certain episodes but don't care if they could have been improved in such a way---that's fine.

 

[BillJ]

If you either like or dislike certain episodes but don't care if they could have been improved in such a way---that's fine.

It would be a maddening experience for me to keep track of all the times Star Trek is either internally inconsistent or violates the laws of physics. And that doesn't even count the transporter and its lack of a target pad to convert people from energy back to matter.

I'm still unsure of how an entity likely born in deep space and able to travel at warp violates the internal logic of the show?

 

[Grant]

If you either like or dislike certain episodes but don't care if they could have been improved in such a way---that's fine.

It would be a maddening experience for me to keep track of all the times Star Trek is either internally inconsistent or violates the laws of physics. And that doesn't even count the transporter and its lack of a target pad to convert people from energy back to matter.

I'm still unsure of how an entity likely born in deep space and able to travel at warp violates the internal logic of the show?

I get it--it all works for you! Spock trying to stop the creature by placing his hands on the vent probably works for you as well.

If you think this thread is an exercise in futility--great. But of course you still feel the need to personally stymie the thread.

 

[BillJ]

If you think this thread is an exercise in futility--great. But of course you still feel the need to personally stymie the thread.

So comments are only valid if they agree with the premise of the thread?

And you didn't actually answer my question...

 

[BillJ]

I get it--it all works for you! Spock trying to stop the creature by placing his hands on the vent probably works for you as well.

He likely did that to lure the creature to him instead of Garrovick. I doubt the intent was Spock thought he could seal the vent off from the creature.

But keep bearing that cross!

 

[feek61]

I actually like this episode. The creature traveling at warp 8 is just as plausible as the Enterprise traveling at warp 8 (in 2015 AND in 1967)