Ferengi Rules of Acquisitions...Let's Quote Them.

[CmndrSela318]

I'll start this thread with my favorite rule [#76] Quarrk mentioned in the season 2 episode THE HOMECOMING.

#76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

 

[Admiral Shran]

#285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Rule # 217 -- You can't free a fish from water.

Past Tense pt 1

 

[Jono]

Rule 98 - Every man has his price

In the Pale Moonlight

That's the only one I can name and assign a number to off the top of my head, though I think I can remember around half a dozen of the rules.

 

[brian577]

Rule #112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.

 

[Bill Morris]

I guess this is being a spoilsport, but . . .

http://lcars24.com/ROA.HTM

 

[Rush Limborg]

#64 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.

(BTW...is it OK to quote the ones from the book The Ferengi Rules Of Aquisition, and from the novels like from The 34th Rule, by Armin Shimmerman?)

 

[reversepolarity]

I guess this is being a spoilsport, but . . .

http://lcars24.com/ROA.HTM

You're right, that is a spoilsport-ish thing to do, you've killed off this thread

 

[Vulcan Princess]

These two go together:
#34 War is good for business.
#35 Peace is good for business.

 

[John Clark]

These two go together:
#34 War is good for business.
#35 Peace is good for business.

#76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

 

[Rush Limborg]

A bit of correction.

"The riskier the road, the greater the profit" is rule 62, not 64. Sorry, folks.



NOW--

214: "Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi."

 

[Terengo]

#1 Once you have their money, never give it back.

I have actually used this rule in real life. I work at a library, and people come in to print things off the computers, at a dime a page. In the past, it was sort of an honor system, and people would print pages of stuff and then go through the stack and pick out only what they wanted to keep and leave the rest. We switched to a new system where they have to pay us before we print the pages. Some of the staff had some trouble adapting to the new system and would refund money for pages people didn't want. I actually quoted them Rule #1, with attribution (they already know I'm a geek).

 

[Rom's Sehlat]

Do libraries hire non-geeks? I would hope my librarian knows his literature (Star Trek included)!

 

[Kira Nerys]

It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^Know the number of that one?

3: "Never spend more than an aquisition than you have to."

 

[Willim Davies]

Rule 286 (quarks made up rule)
When Morn leaves, it's all over.

 

[Willim Davies]

Rule 109
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

 

[G2309]

#285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.

I've used this a few times and it got a laugh from people. Didn't say where it was from.

 

[MacLeod]

Number 3 is also reasonable, never pay for an aquisition than you have too.