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Favorite humorous dialogue exchange.

Kirk, Bones, and Spock in the corridor at the end of the episode.
Kirk to Spock: "Are you casting me in the role of Satan?"
As Kirk and Bones surround Spock: "Is there anybody on this ship that even remotely resembles Satan?"

Because racism is funny. :rolleyes:

I definitely don't see the racism there?
Nor do I.

As I said before...and it is only a personal opinion....but I felt it was a way for Gene Roddenberry to say to the network execs back then: "You wanted me to get rid of Spock because you thought he looked like an image of Satan?! Kiss my ass!"

Wow. Racism? Seriously?!

Nope. Still don't see it.
 
From "Deja Q" Worfs response to what Q must do to prove he is human.

Q: Q, the miserable. Q, the desperate. What must I do to convince you people...

WORF: Die.
You forgot the best part!

Q: Oh, very clever, Worf. Eat any good books lately?


Also, from QPid:
Worf: *SMASH* Sorry.
:guffaw:

Yeah the "I must protest I am not a merry man!" and the guitar smash are classic.

For people who have never seen "Animal House" that scene was a deliberate reference to the scene where a guy is playing a love song on a guitar to some girls at a frat party and John Belushi walks by and suddenly grabs the guitar and smashes the hell out of it. Then he hands it back to the guy and says "sorry" in a voice that makes it seem like he really is sorry.

I saw on a documentary the guy who played the guitar had Belushi autograph the remains and he had it framed and keeps it in his house.
 
From The 2nd DC Comics run.
McCoy: By the way, someone slipped note under your door. I put it on your desk.
Kirk: A note? on paper? (reading) "We'll be over shortly to discuss your case. Stay put."
And it's not signed. How Odd. And who uses paper?
McCoy: The same type of people who use glasses-- And what happened to the ones
I bought you? I just realized you never wear them anymore.
Kirk: Oh. Those. Well...To be honest...I pawned them.
McCoy: What?
Kirk: Back when we were in the twentieth century. I needed the currency.
McCoy: but they were a gift!
Kirk: That's the beauty part-- They would be again.
Chekov: Who made the glasses Keptin?
Kirk: What?
Chekov: Vell, if you sold them in the twentieth century, that is when they came into
"existence." And they existed through to our century, when you brought them back
to the twentieth. It's a loop. The question is, how were they made when they
didn't exist in timeuntil you brought them back?
Don't you see? How could they exist when they didn't exist earlier than
the 1980s? The Keptin sold them, the Doctor bought them, but nobody actually made
them--
--unless there is a second set of glasses in a parallel vorld, that crossed over to our vorld--
McCoy: I warned you years ago Spock was s bad influence on him. But did you listen? Hah.
That's what you get when you hang around Vulcans too long. They get in your head,
one way or another. And I'm the expert on that.
 
TVH wins this one...
One of my favorite parts is this one (paraphrased):


Spock: Gracie is pregnant.

SCREEECH! Gillian stops the truck.

Gillian: How do you know that? Nobody knows that!

Spock: Gracie knows.

Sir...There is a Multi Legged Creature crawling on your shoulder.
A long time ago, that line inspired me to make this lolpic (I have no idea who the guy in the picture is, but it's adorable):

multi-legged-feline-sitting-on-your-shoulder.jpg
 
Spock's exact quote is "Gracie does." I'm not sure how accurately you've quoted Gillian, though.
That's why I used the word "paraphrased." The exact words may be off, but everyone who's seen the movie knows what is meant.
 
One of my favorite parts is this one (paraphrased):


Spock: Gracie is pregnant.

SCREEECH! Gillian stops the truck.

Gillian: How do you know that? Nobody knows that!

Spock: Gracie knows.

That's actually a paraphrasing of dialog from two different parts of the movie. According to this transcript:

SPOCK: Gracie is pregnant.
(the pick-up screams to a halt)

GILLIAN: All right. Who are you? And don't jerk me around any more. I want to know how you know that.
KIRK: We can't tell you that. ...Please, let me finish. I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm towards the whales.
GILLIAN: Then what...
KIRK: In fact, we may be able to help you in ways that, frankly, you couldn't possibly imagine.
GILLIAN: Or believe, I'll bet.
KIRK: Very likely. ...You're not exactly catching us at our best.
SPOCK: That much is certain.
KIRK: I have got a hunch we'd all be a lot happier discussing this over dinner. What do you say?
GILLIAN: You guys like Italian?
SPOCK/KIRK: No. Yes. No. Yes.
KIRK: Yes, I love Italian and so do you.
SPOCK: Yes.

[Golden Gate Park]

(Gillian's pick-up arrives)
GILLIAN: Sure you won't change your mind?
SPOCK: Is there something wrong with the one I have?
KIRK: Just a little joke. Goodbye, old friend.
GILLIAN: Wait a minute! How did you know Gracie's pregnant? Nobody knows that.
SPOCK: Gracie does. ...I'll be right here.

GILLIAN: Is he just going to hang around the bushes while we eat?
KIRK: It's his way.
(as the pick-up drives off, Spock disappears in a transporter beam)
 
From 'Half a Life':

Lwaxana (to Timicin): You just think of me as your entertainment director.

(they leave Engineering, arm in arm)

Geordi: That man's in a LOT of trouble.
 
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Almost any exchange when McCoy is goading Spock about being logical.

Deja Q:

Q: How can I prove that I am mortal?
Worf: Die.

Qless had a bunch of good ones

One was when Q came into see Picard and he talks says how he just had the most frightening experience and how he felt weak and everything started to go black and his very life was leaving his body and Picard says in a very irritated voice "you fell asleep"

Then Q is horrified and asks Picard how he can deal with that all time and picard still annoyed says something like "you get used to it"


Another is when Q steals the shuttlecraft partly because he can't go on and partly to spare the enterprise from being destroyed by the calamarain and Picard, despite his better judgement orders the shields to protect Q.

Riker gives him a look like "are you nuts" and Picard, like he has to justify it somehow says " it's a perfectly good shuttlecraft"
 
From 'The Undiscovered Territory' after Martia transforms into a duplicate of Kirk-

KIRK: I can't believe I kissed you.
MARTIA: Must have been your lifelong ambition.
 
This:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUHcoCg2jWI


Shatner's roaring "WHERE!!" followed by his disbelieving, whispered "you gave them to the Klingons?!" crack me up every time.


and this, an early entry from the Quark and Odo show:


QUARK: I have nothing to hide. I'm selling quality merchandise to a select clientele.
ODO: And what makes them so select?
QUARK: They're all ridiculously wealthy and not too bright.
ODO: I'll never understand this obsession with accumulating material wealth. You spend your entire life plotting and scheming to acquire more and more possessions, until your living areas are bursting with useless junk. Then you die, your relatives sell everything and start the cycle all over again.
QUARK: Isn't there anything you desire?
ODO: I have my work. What more do I need?
QUARK: A suit of the finest Andorian silk? A ring of pure Surax? A complete set of Tanesh pottery? How about a latinum plated bucket to sleep in?
(Odo seems to consider it, then dismisses the idea)[/FONT]


That moment when Odo seems to be breifly tempted by the idea of the latinum-lined bucket is priceless.

Oh, gods...the whole scene in Starship Mine where Data is practicing and making small talk with "Hutch"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kFF2nt97zg

When Riker cracks up, that is so my cue to crack up.


also:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4kpG6tasmk


"Commander, what are your intentions toward my daughter?"



Actually, this thread is making me realize that Frakes has some wicked comedic timing.


The whole fanboy approach of the guy who plays the psudoTuvok/Vulcan in Voyager's "Live Fast and Prosper" is hysterical, and there are some moments early on when his fellow con artists/crewmates exchange a few looks between themselves, a few double takes (especially the psudoJaneway), that I thought were hysterical, pretty much saying with looks "what's up with him?" and pretty much expressing any non-Trekker's view of the idea of the average Trek fan.
 
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Quark: "We get boarded, I'm going to defend my bar with this."
Odo: "A box?"
Quark: "No, what's inside the box."
Quark opens box, revealing a piece of paper, which Odo picks up and reads.
Odo: "Dear Quark, I had to borrow parts from your disruptor to fix the replicator. Sorry, I'll replace them as soon as I can. Your brother, Rom."
Quark: "What? The idiot! I'll kill him!"
Odo: "With what?"

You missed out my favourite bit of that exchange.

Odo: "You're going to hit them with a box?"
Quark: "No. This is my disrupter pistol, the one I used to carry when I was serving on that Ferengi freighter."
Odo: "I thought you were the ship's cook?"
Quark: "That's right, and every member of that crew thought he was a food critic."

Quark opens the box, revealing a piece of paper, which Odo picks up and reads.
Odo: "'Dear Quark, I borrowed parts of your disruptor to fix the replicator, will return them soon, Rom'."
Quark snatches the note
Quark: "I will kill him!"
Odo (smug): "With what?"
 
Not an "exchange" as such, but;

Odo: "Commence Station Security Log, Stardate 47282.5. At the request of Commander Sisko, I will hereafter be recording a daily log of law enforcement affairs. The reason for this exercise is beyond my comprehension, except perhaps that humans have a compulsion to keep records and lists and files; so many, in fact, that they have to invent new ways to store them microscopically, otherwise their records would overrun all known civilisation. My own very adequate memory not being good enough for Starfleet, I am pleased to put my voice to this official record of this day.

Everything's under control.

End log."
 
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