Facts About Captain Robau

[Mr. Laser Beam]

We would rather have our asses kicked by The Robau than have this thread end.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Robau troubleshoots computer software by busting the computer into a thousand bits.

Or into a few hundred kilobits!

 

[F. King Daniel]

The end of this thread is coming, and...

 

[Satyrquaze]

When Robau drinks Romulan ale (and it's perfectly legal when he drinks it) it's the Romulan ale that gets drunk.

 

[Rush Limborg]

When this premire thread of tribute is closed...His Supreme Awesomeness commands that we begin anew.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

 

[6079SmithW]

The only thing more devastating then getting a Robau Stare is getting one while looking through a kaleidoscope because then you are getting twenty all at once.

 

[Cyke101]

He who drinketh from the Cup of Robau shall be a bad-ass indeed:

http://www.geekologie.com/2011/02/please_teach_lessons_man_bring.php


(seriously though, the guy's a real life hero of Robau proportions)

 

[Skellington]

^ Holy sweet mother of Saint Robau, I think that we have us here a potential ancestor of the man himself.

Fact. Or not.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

When Robau and Q shake hands, a tremendous energy wave forms, causing some few hundred wormholes to appear here and there.

 

[6079SmithW]

^And Q writhes in agony at the shear force of Robau's crushing, manly grip.

 

[Skellington]

The Robau senses a disturbance in the Force. And he's not even in the same universe.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

BTW, what's this I hear about this thread being closed down?

I await enlightenment from the Robau on this disturbing rumor...

 

[F. King Daniel]

At 8,000 posts this thread will have reached the upper limit of badassery possible in this universe and it will rise to a higher plane of existence, becoming one with the great Captain Robau himself.

It will be a time of great celebration.

 

[6079SmithW]

NEVER FORGET HIS SACRIFICE

 

[Rush Limborg]

With only five posts remaining after this one...His Supreme Awesomeness has commanded me to bring back this memory--the memory of where it all began:

Captain Robau. What a guy. Yet, we know so little about him. We know he's from Cuba, and that he's a badass, but what else do we know?

Using my super-secret for reals inside source, I've decided to compile a list of known facts about Captain Robau. This is 100 percent insider info, but keep in mind, I'm running off an early draft of the script.

FACTS ABOUT CAPTAIN ROBAU

-Captain Robau doesn't die. He just takes a pit stop in hell.
-Captain Robau eats duranium and shits photon torpedoes.
-The Kelvin's shields aren't for keeping weapons out... they're for keeping Robau in.
-Captain Robau built Indiana Jones's Freedom Fridge in a cave! With a box of scraps!
-Captain Robau never reads menus when eating at a restaurant. Whatever he orders, they better make it.
-When Romulans go to sleep, they double-check their closets for Captain Robau.
-V'Ger needed to merge with its creator, because a higher plane of existence was the only place V'Ger could hide from Captain Robau.
-V'Ger was wrong.
-Among the Romulan medical community, death is referred to as Robau Syndrome.
-Captain Robau never runs out of Captain Robau jokes.

Amen.

Now...we must be strong, my bretheren. For the Robau shall be procaimed throughout the BBS, unto all the inhabitants, thereof.

Within a few posts...we shall heed his command to start anew. Are you all with me, my bretheren?

 

[Cyke101]

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck bad Nero lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
Nero is cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are hot and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Bad-ass to the end.

--Walt Whitman
Song of the Bad-Ass

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Now...we must be strong, my bretheren. For the Robau shall be procaimed throughout the BBS, unto all the inhabitants, thereof.

Within a few posts...we shall heed his command to start anew. Are you all with me, my bretheren?

I hereby proclaim - nay, demand - that a Robau emoticon, a Robauticon, should be installed on this board immediately.

AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!

 

[M'Sharak]

BTW, what's this I hear about this thread being closed down?

I await enlightenment from the Robau on this disturbing rumor...

Well, not Robau, but cast your eyes hither.

When this premire thread of tribute is closed...His Supreme Awesomeness commands that we begin anew.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

[...]

Within a few posts...we shall heed his command to start anew. Are you all with me, my bretheren?

No, sorry. We will not be beginning anew. In fact, I'll close this one here, and if there's an appropriate way to wind this all up in a couple of posts, then someone can let me know and perhaps I can open it again, just for a little bit.

There's a new movie in the pipeline now, and if there's going to be a new epic thread, then it's time for something new - not just trying to do over again and twice as spammy what's already been done once.

 

[M'Sharak]

And now to deliver the final word--the concluding statement in the "Facts About Captain Robau" thread--here's Rush Limborg. Take it away, Rush...

His Supreme Awesomeness, Captain Robau Maximus, has bestowed upon me the words for this--this Farewell Address for this thread of tribute, this thread of dedication to the incomparable greatness of he whom no mortal can hope to equal:


In this time of parting, we must take care to be ever mindful of all we have learned in the years we have spent in compiling this tribute. In this, we must be sure to be strong.

Let us rise as one, my fellow mortals, and pledge, one and all, to treasure these lessons, these words of inspiration, these tributes which, as we have admitted time and time again, cannot ever hope to adequately describe the ultimate in awesomeness who is Captain Robau Maximus.

I ask my fellow citizens of the BBS...to ask, not what you can do for Robau--for as the faithful know, no one can hope to consider himself "necessary" for the services of the Robau. Rather, ask Robau what you can do for your BBS!

So PROCLAIM the message of Supreme Awesomeness, throughout the BBS, and to all the inhabitants thereof.

PROCLAIM the ideas by which this message does instruct us to live.

PROCLAIM the freedom which we all enjoy--the freedom which comes from the enjoyment we find...in the message we have received.

But above all else...PROCLAIM the name of Captain Robau! Fly his name on the highest banner! Place his name on the highest pedestal! And let your voice thunder with mine--as we conclude this journey with the words of tribute, which His Supreme Awesomeness had bestowed upon me...oh so long ago.

Now...let us all thunder as one! Come together with me, my brethren--and let--our--voice--be--heard:

AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!












Thank you, my brethren...and farewell.

Thanks for playing, y'all.