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Facts About Captain Robau

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Robau is the ancient Klingon word for "alien outsider who is more badass than our entire race will EVER be."
 
One day Robau was running so fast that the gust created as he whizzed by blew the fiddler off the roof, causing him to break his neck and die. When questioned by authorities, Robau said, "What the hell is a fiddler doing on a roof anyway? Isn't that an OSHA violation or something?" Not that Robau cares at all about OSHA regulations as nothing is capable of injuring Captain Robau.
 
Robau's great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa is the guy who invented EPIC WIN memes on the Internet.
 
Robau is not capable of being conceived by mere mortals. Therefore, afore mentioned paternal ancestor of Robau was actually Robau himself time traveling and the memes were created as a result of people recognizing and respecting the fact that Captain Robau is the most Epic Win in all of existence.
 
Robau has his own personal cloaking device: When he wants to cloak, he puts on his pissed off face and light bends around him out of shear terror of disturbing him.
 
Every morning, Robau gives his own special 'JemHadar battle dirge' to his crew:

'I am Captain Robau, and I am badass. As of this moment, we are ALL badass. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are of USS Kelvin. Remember, victory is me.'
 
In Star Trek Online you will notice a lot of destroyed planets. This is because these planets had offended Robau and they were destroyed for angering him.
 
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