Facts About Captain Robau

[Hartzilla2007]

In a cone. With the crushed bones of other enemies sprinkled on top.

and syrup made from their blood and a cherry on top.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

In a cone. With the crushed bones of other enemies sprinkled on top.

and syrup made from their blood and a cherry on top.

Robau must have his cherry. No-one dares argue.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Lightsabers can cut through anything except Captain Robau.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Lightsabers can cut through anything except Captain Robau.

Also Jedi mindtricks do not work on Robau, and Robau can cancel out the Force.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Lightsabers can cut through anything except Captain Robau.

Also Jedi mindtricks do not work on Robau.

Robau himself also has no need for them. If Robau tells you "these aren't the (blank) you're looking for. Move along", goddamn it YOU MOVE ALONG.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Lightsabers can cut through anything except Captain Robau.

Also Jedi mindtricks do not work on Robau.

Robau himself also has no need for them. If Robau tells you "these aren't the (blank) you're looking for. Move along", goddamn it YOU MOVE ALONG.

And you don't want to know what he will do to you if you don't.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Robau continues to monitor this thread.
He remains pleased.
Be warned.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau is so badass he was actually on THE TODAY SHOW talking about a plane incident in 1954!

 

[Aragorn]

One time when the Kelvin's warp speed failed, Robau got out to push the ship, but he pushed it so fast that it ended up in a place where the universe hadn't even expanded to yet.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

One time when the Kelvin's warp speed failed, Robau got out to push the ship, but he pushed it so fast that it ended up in a place where the universe hadn't even expanded to yet.

He then glared at the universe causing it to expand to that point.

 

[Daneel]

Upon meeting Robau, Gozer asked him, "Are you a god?", to which Robau replied, "No... I am Robau".

Gozer then said, "Shit, that's even more badass than a god!", and promptly left this dimension.

 

[SilentP]

V'Ger wasn't looking for god, he was looking for Robau

 

[Aragorn]

Robau's sperm is so awesome, a woman could have an abortion and still be pregnant with his child.

 

[SilentP]

Any attempt to terminate the offspring of Robau through abortion results in the doctor being dragged in and being pummeled the shit out of, then spat back out.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau is the reason humpback whales went extinct in the 21st century. He used them all for midnight snacks.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Vin Diesel is an anagram of "I end lives".

Captain Robau is an anagram of "Captain Robau", which is 10,000 times scarier.

 

[Daneel]

Captain Robau prevented Squiggy's plane from crashing.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau prevented Squiggy's plane from crashing.

And he can cause it to crash on Squiggy at ANY time if he so wishes.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The hole is from Captain Robau sneezing because he's ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS YOU MOTHERFUCKING STUPID AIRLINE FOOD PEOPLE.

 

[Daneel]

Robau isn't allergic to peanuts -- peanuts are allergic to Robau. The hole was caused by all the peanuts leaving the plane to escape him.