True. Once he kicks their ass, history rewrites itself - they never existed.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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True. Once he kicks their ass, history rewrites itself - they never existed.
Fear: Defined as the primal and deeply entrenched understanding that, somehow, at some time and in some way, you have offended Captain Robau.
Thats because he destroyed them all .0000000000000000000000000005 miloseconds after he was born.
Robau was actually Adam... but he wanted a cooler name.
A guy in a redshirt once cut Robau off in traffic. That is why the guy in the red shirt is always the one that dies when they go down to a planet.
God: "Robau, I shall make you a mate. Hmm... what should I use to create her?"
(God sees Robau holding a bloody rib in his hand, a gaping wound in his chest.)
God: "Err... okay, that'll work."
God did not create Robau, silly. Robau created God.
The Everlasting Gobstopper?
Robau's idea. At age two.
Robau's idea. At age two.
The Earth is not spinning on an axis. It's spinning on one of Robau's fingers like a basketball.
Robau can slam dunk planets at will. And rebound entire galaxies.
Robau is the guy who shot Liberty Valance.
Robau was the one who shot the deputy.
Captain Robau would never wear Ed Hardy.
Robau says dogs CAN look up. So listen to him. Or else!
Even in all the parallel universes resulting. All asses are kicked in all timelines by Robau, eventually.
Robau doesn't change timelines. Timelines change him. Into an even MORE badass and bald mofo!
Captain Robau told the stagehand to lower the backdrop onto Bret Michaels because he was sick of his shit!
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