Facts About Captain Robau

[Aragorn]

Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Jamie Foxx, Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe, Garrett Wang, Andrew Dice Clay, Judd Nelson and Mario Lopez have all expressed interest in making a Captain Robau movie starring themselves. Robau turned them all down.

 

[DeVario]

^ Captain Robau gets played by NO MAN.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau is more omnipotent than a Q.

Robau doesn't need to issue orders, he has his crew trained to know his orders. If Robau has to give an order, people fly out of the airlocks because they failed the Robau.

And on the 1,000,000th day God created Robau and went "Now THAT'S what I was going for all along." but then he broke the mold. And thus Robau stands alone.

 

[Cky]

Robau caught the swine flu. He then proceeded to beat the living shit out of it.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Robau started the swine flu, and he will end it.

It's his way of showing more of his badassnessitude (TM).

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau takes joy from the sound of cannon being violated.

 

[Dart]

Captain Robau once tripped on his stomach and the whole universe swung 90 degrees to make it right.

 

[cooleddie74]

What does Captain Robau use for a condom?

SPACEDOCK.

 

[The Wormhole]

Robau Speaks!

Now everyone read that and be appreciative that Captain Robau took time from his busy badassitude to provide info for us, even though we are but disgusting peasants compared to him.

All hail his Robauness!

 

[Squiggy]

Robau caught the swine flu. He then proceeded to beat the living shit out of it.

Robau Speaks!

Now everyone read that and be appreciative that Captain Robau took time from his busy badassitude to provide info for us, even though we are but disgusting peasants compared to him.

All hail his Robauness!

Have you seen the film yet?
Yes, I have."

ROBAU GROWS TIRED OF THESE QUESTIONS. INTERVIEW OVER!

 

[Aragorn]

Robau's cereal doesn't get soggy no matter how long it sits in milk.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau doesn't need a new pristine ship, he could be awesome with a garbage scow and still kick half the Klingon and Romulan armada with half a phaser bank and two torpedoes. The other half would die of shock as they saw the Robau in action.

 

[urbandk]

Robau needs no ship. He is like Zod on crack.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau has ZOD kneel before him

 

[SheliakBob]

Robau once screwed an Organian.
Into a light socket!

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau is the reason why Klingons fear tribbles. Tribbles were actually follicles of Robau's hair who left because Robau was too awesome for them.

 

[Squiggy]

Robau is also the real reason why Klingons don't have ridges in TOS. He punched every Klingon in the face so hard that it flattened it.

Then he had breakfast.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau is also the real reason why Klingons don't have ridges in TOS. He punched every Klingon in the face so hard that it flattened it.

Then he had breakfast.

Then he punched them in the back of the head and the ridges came back in time for the TOS movies and the TNG/DS9/VOY era.

 

[Squiggy]

Why? Because he's Captain F. Robau.




(The F stands for "Fucking")

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Robau Speaks!

Now everyone read that and be appreciative that Captain Robau took time from his busy badassitude to provide info for us, even though we are but disgusting peasants compared to him.

All hail his Robauness!

You do realize that interview is being translated down for us, since no one can even dream of listening to Capt. F. Robau for long before going deaf and reaching the O at the same time.