Facts About Captain Robau

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau - 1. n. The Badass Captain of the USS Kelvin, who pawns everyone in the frakking universe. 2. v. to do something so badass the universe rips open.

 

[Plecostomus]

Robau - 1. n. The Badass Captain of the USS Kelvin, who pawns everyone in the frakking universe. 2. v. to do something so badass the universe rips open.

Usage: "I took a can of hair-spray and a match and totally Robau'd that hornet nest."

 

[Squiggy]

One day, Robau went back in time to warn himself. The universe then imploded for it can only withstand one Robau at a time.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

One day, Robau went back in time to warn himself. The universe then imploded for it can only withstand one Robau at a time.

Still it was an awesome implosion.

 

[Rat Boy]

Captain Robau invented the TOS stardate system. Only Captain Robau could understand how it worked.

 

[stonester1]

One day, Robau went back in time to warn himself. The universe then imploded for it can only withstand one Robau at a time.

Still it was an awesome implosion.

Not only that, but when the debris settled, only Robau was left standing.

Without a speck of dirt on him.

Badass.

And tidy.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau WILL defeat the archnemesis LaFours and knock down the game show stage!

 

[Aragorn]

Robau doesn't spend 24/7 on the internet bitching about a movie that he hasn't seen yet and later goes to see it 10-12 times just to tell everyone on the internet how right he is.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau masturbates with his own pure, unfiltered liquid badass.

 

[KatholKeller]

Captain Robau is so cool that when he goes to sleep the sheep count HIM.

 

[Plecostomus]

Page two again. Robau is NOT PLEASED.

Either post more or drop dead.

 

[CaptRayDay2]

Cpt. Robau gave Kirk advice on how to pick up Uhura.

Result = Kirk is a Champion!!!!

 

[Mach5]

Captain Robau once saw a propecia commercial. Then he ate the universe. With a little mayonnaise.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

One day, Robau went back in time to warn himself. The universe then imploded for it can only withstand one Robau at a time.

Still it was an awesome implosion.

Not only that, but when the debris settled, only Robau was left standing.

Without a speck of dirt on him.

Badass.

And tidy.

And he has a fresh pine secent. Suck on that Mr. Clean.

 

[btflash]

robau is so badass when the boogie man goes to sleep at night he checks under his bed to make sure robau isnt there.

 

[Plecostomus]

Still it was an awesome implosion.

Not only that, but when the debris settled, only Robau was left standing.

Without a speck of dirt on him.

Badass.

And tidy.

And he has a fresh pine secent. Suck on that Mr. Clean.

Mr. Clean's mouth isn't big enough.

NO ONE has a mouth big enough.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau not only takes the cake...he makes love to it.

 

[Captain MAJ]

Having a case of explosive diarrhea is called "Robauing." As in, "I Robaued the frak out of that toilet bowl!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Having sex with Robau is illegal in most star systems...but DAMN AMAZING to watch.

 

[Captain MAJ]

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy states that getting "Robaued" is comparable to getting pwned by Master Chief while at the same time having multiple explosive orgasms and getting your testicles smashed by an out of control freight train and having your eyeballs squeezed in a vice all while trying to sing "I'm a Little Tea-Pot"
while balancing on a circus ball and juggling multiple live Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch and attempting to count to three (not five). However, this comparison is grossly inadequate; but unfortunately, nobody has ever been "Robaued" and lived to tell the tale.