Facts About Captain Robau

[The Wormhole]

Long ago, a storm was heading for the city of Quin'lat. Everyone took protection within the walls except one man who remained outside. "I am not afraid," the man said. "I will not hide my face behind stone and mortar. I will stand before the wind and make it respect me." The next day, the storm came, and saw the man. The storm then said "holy shit, that guy is badass." The storm then ran away in fear.

That man was Captain Robau.

 

[DeafPoet]

Captain Robau is so virile he impregnates any woman who enters his general vicinity. Consequently, he's actually Kirk's father.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau is so cool, he's his own grandfather AND cousin and still has all ten fingers!

 

[M'Sharak]

Long ago, a storm was heading for the city of Quin'lat. Everyone took protection within the walls except one man who remained outside. "I am not afraid," the man said. "I will not hide my face behind stone and mortar. I will stand before the wind and make it respect me." The next day, the storm came, and saw the man. The storm then said "holy shit, that guy is badass." The storm then ran away in fear.

That man was Captain Robau.

They should sing songs of this.

 

[SalvorHardin]

Long ago, a storm was heading for the city of Quin'lat. Everyone took protection within the walls except one man who remained outside. "I am not afraid," the man said. "I will not hide my face behind stone and mortar. I will stand before the wind and make it respect me." The next day, the storm came, and saw the man. The storm then said "holy shit, that guy is badass." The storm then ran away in fear.

That man was Captain Robau.

They should sing songs of this.

They do actually, on Qo'noS
They are all in Klingon though...

 

[M'Sharak]

Captain Robau, of course, understands Klingon perfectly without ever having been taught the language. He decided one day that his brain needed a UT lobe and he grew one -- that morning, before breakfast... while his coffee was brewing.

 

[Aragorn]

Captain Robau drove his Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry... but then he glared at it and it quickly filled up.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

As a child, James Kirk drove a Corvette off of a cliff.
As a child, Captain Robau drove a Bolo off of a cliff.

 

[Disco Bones]

Captain Robeau went back in time and killed his father; then he impregnated his mother and became his own father.

Then he ate a plate of gagh.

 

[Aragorn]

Captain Robau hates Missouri football so much he demanded Colorado be given a fifth down in order to win a game and the officials complied.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Warp 10 is infinite velocity. Captain Robau regularly goes to warp 47 on his morning jog.

 

[BigC]

Captain Robau dosen't always drink beer. But when he does, he perfers Dos Equis.

 

[Aragorn]

Just because Nero kills Captain Robau five minutes into the movie doesn't mean it wasn't by choice. Robau being struck down means he'll become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

 

[M'Sharak]

Just because Nero kills Captain Robau five minutes into the movie doesn't mean it wasn't by choice. Robau being struck down means he'll become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Yep.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau is so cool he can make his dick grow with just one hand.

 

[Gepard]

Captain Robau does simply walk into Mordor.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Captain Robau can repel firepower of that magnitude.

 

[Qonos]

On the seventh day God rested.... After checking to see if it was alright with Captain Robau

 

[Skywalker]

Captain Robau does simply walk into Mordor.

Yeah, that's got to be my favorite one so far.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau once destroyed a man with only hi thumb. Sadly that man was Robert April which is the real reason he isn't in this movie.