Facts About Captain Robau

[Deranged Nasat]

Besides, Robau decided to allow me to continue posting even though I am dead, because there is a tiny chance I may prove worthy of resurrection.

You recognise the supreme awesomeness and badassery of the Robau. Your soul is thus capable of being saved. You are worthy of redemption, unlike those who fail to post here....

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Besides, Robau decided to allow me to continue posting even though I am dead, because there is a tiny chance I may prove worthy of resurrection.

You recognise the supreme awesomeness and badassery of the Robau. Your soul is thus capable of being saved. You are worthy of redemption, unlike those who fail to post here....

They are worthy of getting the redshirt treatment

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau doesn't get RickRolled. He gets even by FedExing the severed and preserved head of Rick Astley to those who annoy him.

 

[Islander]

Robau guaranties he'll kick your ass in under 30 minutes or it's free. He'll wait 31 minutes on purpose just because he likes kicking your ass for free.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau delivers pizza in 30 minutes or less or he kicks your ass.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

And when Robau orders pizza it better be there in 30 minutes or less, otherwise he beats the shit out of the delivery boy, takes the delivery boy's car, drives OVER the delivery boy and THEN eats his pizza.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau invented fifth meal.

Overworked insomniac Taco Bell employees, with cheese.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau invented fifth meal.

Overworked insomniac Taco Bell employees, with cheese.

and extra hot sauce.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau uses the fire sauce.
Made with real fire.

 

[barnaclelapse]

Robau is the reason why Bob Dylan started his Never Ending Tour back in the 80's.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau is the reason why Bob Dylan started his Never Ending Tour back in the 80's.

Robau could end the Never Ending Tour if he wanted to.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau could kill and eat Bob Dylan and still be able to crap out enough songs to make a Never Ending Tour still work.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau is the reason why Bob Dylan started his Never Ending Tour back in the 80's.

Robau could end the Never Ending Tour if he wanted to.

Robau is the reason Dylan went all Christian at one point. He scared Bob into reconsidering the meaning of life.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau is 1200 nfeet tall and shoots fire out of his eyes.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau is not dead.
He's pining for the Fjords.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Robau is the reason Dylan went all Christian at one point. He scared Bob into reconsidering the meaning of life.

DANG right!

"Robert Dylan...make peace with your soul...because if you cross me again...I'm gonna send you into ETERNITY!"

 

[Cyke101]

Robau sued Jesus for identity theft.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau sued Jesus for identity theft.

And Won.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau is not dead.
He's pining for the Fjords.

The fjords pine for Robau, actually...

And the reason the parrot died is because it tried to comprehend the badassery that is Robau.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Robau won the Triple Crown just by running on foot, clapping two coconut halves together.

Robau can beat the Joker AND the Riddler with one hand tied behind his back.

And that hand? The severed limb of the Penguin.

Wesley Crusher could beat the Riddler with one hand tied behind his back, though.

And yet...ironically...he could never beat virginity.

He probably lost it to Ashley Judd, which even Robau admits is kinda badass.