Facts About Captain Robau

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau is the Secret Ingredient in KFC.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Captain Robau doesn't bleed when he's cut. He oozes liquid FUCK YOU.

Captain Robau ain't got time to bleed.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau determins what is and isn't cannon so its best not to screw with him.

 

[Klingon Empire]

A fart from Captain Robau is enough to destroy Romulus.

 

[dillon3001]

If you have 5 bars of gold pressed latinum and Captain Robau has 5 bars of gold pressed latinum....Captain Robau has more latinum than you.

 

[Aragorn]

For everyone bitching about canon and how this movie is destroying your childhood, Captain Robau will personally see to it that each of you will have something that begins with zero on your tombstone in the near future.

 

[cooleddie74]

It's either Captain Robau's way...or the highway.

 

[Nerys Myk]

In space you could hear Captain Robau scream, but Captain Robau never screams.

 

[cooleddie74]

Nobody puts Captain Robau in a corner.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

One shall stand and one shall fall, and the one still standing will be Captain Robau.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau.

One captain.

Two hairlines.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Sisko: "There's an old saying: Fortune favours Captain Robau."

O'Brien: "None of us are Robau, sir."

Sisko: "Well. We're fucked."

 

[Skywalker]

Sisko: "There's an old saying: Fortune favours Captain Robau."

O'Brien: "None of us are Robau, sir."

Sisko: "Well. We're fucked."

 

[M'Sharak]

^ What he said.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: "What would Captain Robau do?"

PICARD: "On the eve of historic combat, Captain Robau was a source of strength and inspiration."

SISKO: "Captain Robau himself once said nothing's ever impossible. Some things are just harder to finish."

JANEWAY: "Almost a century and a half ago, Captain Robau stood his ground...as we must do...here and now!"

ARCHER: "Captain who?"

 

[M'Sharak]

ARCHER: "Captain who?"

Captain Robau will, by an auditory sixth sense, be able to hear this from decades in the future. Traveling back in time, and learning that he will be only the 147th person to beat the snot out of Archer rather than the first, Captain Robau travels even farther back until his is the first and worst smackdown received by Jonathan Archer (which explains why Archer seemed able to smile and joke through many later beatings.)

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: "Captain who?"

Captain Robau will, by an auditory sixth sense, be able to hear this from decades in the future. Traveling back in time, and learning that he will be only the 147th person to beat the snot out of Archer rather than the first, Captain Robau travels even farther back until his is the first and worst smackdown received by Jonathan Archer (which explains why Archer seemed able to smile and joke through many later beatings.)

ARCHER:"Who WAS that bald man?"

T'POL:"He goes by Robau. The Vulcan Database has nothing.

But sensors show he is VERY badass."

 

[Hartzilla2007]

ARCHER: "Captain who?"

Captain Robau will, by an auditory sixth sense, be able to hear this from decades in the future. Traveling back in time, and learning that he will be only the 147th person to beat the snot out of Archer rather than the first, Captain Robau travels even farther back until his is the first and worst smackdown received by Jonathan Archer (which explains why Archer seemed able to smile and joke through many later beatings.)

ARCHER:"Who WAS that bald man?"

T'POL:"He goes by Robau. The Vulcan Database has nothing.

But sensors show he is VERY badass."

Archer: We're screwed.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau will, by an auditory sixth sense, be able to hear this from decades in the future. Traveling back in time, and learning that he will be only the 147th person to beat the snot out of Archer rather than the first, Captain Robau travels even farther back until his is the first and worst smackdown received by Jonathan Archer (which explains why Archer seemed able to smile and joke through many later beatings.)

ARCHER:"Who WAS that bald man?"

T'POL:"He goes by Robau. The Vulcan Database has nothing.

But sensors show he is VERY badass."

Archer: We're screwed.

TRIP:"Someone mention pie?"

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Batman has admitted that Captain Robau could kick his ass but if you repeat this in his earshoot you will die a horrible death.