Facts About Captain Robau

[Jeri]

Thanks. As exercise, for fun.

Capt Roboau doesn't bowl strikes; he just knocks down one pin and the
other nine faint.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Fire was invented when Robau gave someone an angry stare (which, at the same time, made the dinosaurs extinct)

 

[Jeri]

Simply by pulling on both ends, Capt Roboau can stretch diamonds back
into coal.

 

[rgb1701]

Capt Robau is so cool, he listens to only 1970's Genesis, requiring Supper's Ready on shipwide intercom at the top of the hour, every hour.

 

[Jeri]

Scotty often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics."

This is untrue. Captain Robau can change the laws of physics.

 

[rgb1701]

Scotty often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics."

This is untrue. Captain Robau can change the laws of physics.

Correction- Scotty was talking to Kirk when he said that. Kirk *can't* change the laws of physics. Robau can.

 

[rgb1701]

Imaginary numbers were invented for Robau. Real numbers couldn't decscribe the magnitude of Robau's badassedness.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau doesn't sweat. His body recycles excess moisture and heat into his badassness.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

The very end of the calculation of Pi is ROBAU.

 

[Jeri]

Captain Robau doesn't actually write status reports: the words assemble themselves out of fear.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Robau's status is always Badass.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau has two states of alertness:

Awake. And Angrily awake.

 

[Jeri]

Captain Robau does not own a stove, oven, or microwave -- because revenge
is a dish best served cold.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau hasn't worn hats since childhood. Because they kept him from getting laid in kindergarten.

 

[Jeri]

Most boots are made for walkin'. Captain Robau's boots ain't that merciful.

 

[cooleddie74]

Roabu's boots are made for stompin'.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

And that's just what they'll do.

 

[cooleddie74]

One of these days Robau's boots are gonna stomp all over YOU.

 

[Jeri]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Captain Robau.

 

[cooleddie74]

When in doubt, Robau wins out.