Facebook Ethics

[Broccoli]

Okay, here is an ethical quandary.

For those of you who use Facebook, as you may know in order to protect our privacy, Facebook has opened up information for all to see. This, in effect, seems to eliminate the ability/option to be completely hidden on Facebook from searches and from those who are not on your friends list. I think the argument for this is that fact that it allows you to connect easier with people.

Yeah, its kinda stupid and was an unneeded change.

Anyway, here is what I was wondering. If you knew someone who was on Facebook, but before had the super-privacy settings on where you couldn't friend them, but now you do have that ability, should you be ethically obliged (for lack of a better term) to not attempt to friend them because they were previously hidden? Or do you think that it is okay to do it and if they don't want friend you back, it is their call?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Friend them anyway. If they reject you, oh well. I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[John Picard]

Seriously, you people and your Social Networking are rife for pickings. This is just one article I found regarding its problems. I can't find the other one (I think it was on MSN) that detailed how these sites are becoming havens for criminals mining data.

 

[RoJoHen]

Fact: I de-friended someone a few months ago. She found out and tried to re-friend me. I denied her.

The other day I saw her at a bar, and once she saw me, she started crying and stormed out.

People take Facebook way too seriously.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Don't feel obligated to friend certain people. If they didn't want to be found back when the privacy settings were different, then I'm certain their preferences haven't changed. If they send you an invite, it's up to you to reject or approve. My two cents.

 

[Jadzia]

The ethics is simply that they accepted the terms of use when they signed up. One of the clauses (as it seems) is that privacy was a privilege, not a given right.

(1) Do you desperately want the person on your friends list. Is it so important?

(2) If so, then maybe contact the person, telling them who you are, and ask them if they are comfortable being friended because of the new security policy.

(3) If your friend raises objection to being friended, or doesn't reply, then respect their feelings, and reverse whatever actions you took.

 

[Mr. B]

Privacy settings notwithstanding, as a rule it's unwise to put anything on Facebook would wouldn't want accessible to anyone.

If you knew someone who was on Facebook, but before had the super-privacy settings on where you couldn't friend them, but now you do have that ability, should you be ethically obliged (for lack of a better term) to not attempt to friend them because they were previously hidden?

I can't imagine why anyone should expect you to keep up with such changes your friends are making.

 

[Broccoli]

Wait. I don't want to give the wrong impression here. This is just a hypothetical situation. A friend of mine who had her privacy to super-secret was complaining about it the other day to me and that got me thinking.

Privacy settings notwithstanding, as a rule it's unwise to put anything on Facebook would wouldn't want accessible to anyone.

Totally agree. My Facebook account is probably one of the most boring ones out there.

"Gasp! Corporations are going to know I like Star Trek! Oh nos!"

 

[SeerSGB]

I've got my settings-- reset them last night after the latest "update"-- set to "only me" on like 99% of my profile. I don't even like having the damn account, but apparently her [the wife] family prefers using Facebook to the phone and/or dropping a letter or e-mail So in the interest of getting to know my in-laws, I have an account.

Frankly, I think it's the most idiotic invention to come down the digital pike in a long long time. "Oh look, there's Susie for Grade-K that I used to share my paste with, I need to friend her right away!" When the fuck did the last couple of generations or so become obsessed with hanging onto people in their past?

It's like I tell people all the time, that think just cause we went to school together or worked together years back that suddenly I'm interested in their lives, If I fucking cared about your life or considered you a friend, we'd still be talking, we aren't there's a reason for that, now go away.

 

[TheBrew]

Fact: I de-friended someone a few months ago. She found out and tried to re-friend me. I denied her.

The other day I saw her at a bar, and once she saw me, she started crying and stormed out.

People take Facebook way too seriously.

I defriended my own brother. Twice. He refriended me, I considered accepting for a month and then accepted. That lasted all of two weeks.

Wait. I don't want to give the wrong impression here. This is just a hypothetical situation. A friend of mine who had her privacy to super-secret was complaining about it the other day to me and that got me thinking.

Privacy settings notwithstanding, as a rule it's unwise to put anything on Facebook would wouldn't want accessible to anyone.

Totally agree. My Facebook account is probably one of the most boring ones out there.

"Gasp! Corporations are going to know I like Star Trek! Oh nos!"

Me too.

I had one friend post a link to the trailer for a porno once on my wall (more because it was a Ghostbusters spoof then the fact that it was porn) and I promptly deleted it from my wall.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Fact: I de-friended someone a few months ago. She found out and tried to re-friend me. I denied her.

The other day I saw her at a bar, and once she saw me, she started crying and stormed out.

People take Facebook way too seriously.

Totally agree. My Facebook account is probably one of the most boring ones out there.

"Gasp! Corporations are going to know I like Star Trek! Oh nos!"

Same here. My privacy policy is indeed very restrictive, and even in case of a major break-in, there is nothing embarrassing or unseeingly there: probably the most incriminating evidences are my tastes in music. I shiver thinking what people put on their facebook page: drunken pictures, job-related rants, personal addresses, etc. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

I was appalled when I saw in a recent discussion about the new "privacy settings" (or, more accurately, "publicy settings"!) that only 20% of users ever changed their privacy rules from the default.

 

[JonathonWally]

I've got my settings-- reset them last night after the latest "update"-- set to "only me" on like 99% of my profile. I don't even like having the damn account, but apparently her [the wife] family prefers using Facebook to the phone and/or dropping a letter or e-mail So in the interest of getting to know my in-laws, I have an account.

Frankly, I think it's the most idiotic invention to come down the digital pike in a long long time. "Oh luck, there's Susie for Grade-K that I used to share my paste with, I need to friend her right away!" When the fuck did the last couple of generations or so obsessed with hanging onto people in their past?

It's like I tell people all the time, that think just cause we went to school together or worked together years back that suddenly I'm interested in their lives, If I fucking cared about your life or considered you a friend, we'd still be talking, we aren't there's a reason for that, now go away.

Bitter much?

For fuck's sake, who cares?

 

[Broccoli]

I've got my settings-- reset them last night after the latest "update"-- set to "only me" on like 99% of my profile. I don't even like having the damn account, but apparently her [the wife] family prefers using Facebook to the phone and/or dropping a letter or e-mail So in the interest of getting to know my in-laws, I have an account.

Frankly, I think it's the most idiotic invention to come down the digital pike in a long long time. "Oh luck, there's Susie for Grade-K that I used to share my paste with, I need to friend her right away!" When the fuck did the last couple of generations or so obsessed with hanging onto people in their past?

It's like I tell people all the time, that think just cause we went to school together or worked together years back that suddenly I'm interested in their lives, If I fucking cared about your life or considered you a friend, we'd still be talking, we aren't there's a reason for that, now go away.

Bitter much?

For fuck's sake, who cares?

TGS has a point. Some people do take the Facebook too far. I know I've gotten requests from people who I knew in grade school that I rarely talked to then.

 

[propita]

I can't figure the damn thing out. I get notices of "so and so is a friend of your friend." Like I care? I don't know the person.

I set as many privacy settings as possible to "friends only," rarely visit, don't play games on it, don't care (let my friends email me, that's what email is for).

I'm seriously thinking of canceling it. I can't figure out the point of it.

 

[JonathonWally]

I've got my settings-- reset them last night after the latest "update"-- set to "only me" on like 99% of my profile. I don't even like having the damn account, but apparently her [the wife] family prefers using Facebook to the phone and/or dropping a letter or e-mail So in the interest of getting to know my in-laws, I have an account.

Frankly, I think it's the most idiotic invention to come down the digital pike in a long long time. "Oh luck, there's Susie for Grade-K that I used to share my paste with, I need to friend her right away!" When the fuck did the last couple of generations or so obsessed with hanging onto people in their past?

It's like I tell people all the time, that think just cause we went to school together or worked together years back that suddenly I'm interested in their lives, If I fucking cared about your life or considered you a friend, we'd still be talking, we aren't there's a reason for that, now go away.

Bitter much?

For fuck's sake, who cares?

TGS has a point. Some people do take the Facebook too far. I know I've gotten requests from people who I knew in grade school that I rarely talked to then.

What's with the drama about it? Either friend them or don't. It's not a difficult decision.

 

[SeerSGB]

Wait. I don't want to give the wrong impression here. This is just a hypothetical situation. A friend of mine who had her privacy to super-secret was complaining about it the other day to me and that got me thinking.

Privacy settings notwithstanding, as a rule it's unwise to put anything on Facebook would wouldn't want accessible to anyone.

Totally agree. My Facebook account is probably one of the most boring ones out there.

"Gasp! Corporations are going to know I like Star Trek! Oh nos!"

Hell I got ya' beat: I have three posts on facebook, no photo, nothing. I don't even read my messages over there, which I get by the ton, regardless of the fact that one of my 3 posts is a post saying I don't read messages sent via facebook.

 

[Mr. B]

I shiver thinking what people put on their facebook page: drunken pictures, job-related rants, personal addresses, etc. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

I too am amazed at what some people are willing to have floating around. I keep my profile 'potential employer proof.'

When the 'younger generation' starts running for congress and other political offices, you can bet we'll be seeing crap dredged up from facebook.

 

[David cgc]

Fact: I de-friended someone a few months ago. She found out and tried to re-friend me. I denied her.

The other day I saw her at a bar, and once she saw me, she started crying and stormed out.

People take Facebook way too seriously.

See, now, when someone has defriended me without a precipitating incident, I respect that and don't try to reconnect with them. I do make a mental note, though, that the next time I see them I should mention that I saw something really interesting that reminded me of them the other day, and that I'll send them a link on Facebook. In situations like that, I find passive aggression is the best kind of aggression.

 

[SeerSGB]

Bitter much?

For fuck's sake, who cares?

TGS has a point. Some people do take the Facebook too far. I know I've gotten requests from people who I knew in grade school that I rarely talked to then.

What's with the drama about it? Either friend them or don't. It's not a difficult decision.

Except for those folks that don't take "no" for an answer. Which is, in my experience, about a third of the people that send me a friend's request. It starts out easy enough with denying their request, then it escalates to their getting pissed at me and raising a stink cause I don't want to be their friend.

Or, the more recent fun, one of my wife's coworkers sent me a friend's request. Wife was in my account and approved it. Next time she works with the wife and I show up to drop off the wife's lunch-- the coworker tells the wife that I had friended her [the coworker]-- and saying it was okay cause she didn't want my wife to think anything was going on between the two of us I defriend the woman, next thing I know she's mad cause I defriended her.

 

[iguana_tonante]

I shiver thinking what people put on their facebook page: drunken pictures, job-related rants, personal addresses, etc. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

I too am amazed at what some people are willing to have floating around. I keep my profile 'potential employer proof.'

Yes, this. Especially this.

I'm very aware of it also because in my line of business there are actually very few people, and almost everybody knows everybody else. So you must be very careful about what you say to whom. Today's cool coworker can be the guy that hires you tomorrow.