Every X-Mas, I Have the Same Thought...

[tharpdevenport]

As always one of my favorite comedians, Norm MacDonald, has a joke for the occassion:

Well, I'm looking for gifts. You ever get a, uh ... you ever get a bad gift? Y'know? Last Christmas, man, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket. You ever get that for a gift? Man, what a stinkin' gift that is, huh? You know, what's a guy even thinking there, right?[/FONT]
'Here you go. Nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing! From me to you- not anything!'
You know, unless it wins, then it's something. But let's face it -- if you give a guy a lottery ticket, you know, you don't want it to win. What kind of fucking nightmare would that be, y'know? Imagine that, you get a call a week after Christmas there?
Go, 'Hey, Fred. What's happening there? Yeah, I remember that ticket I give you. Fourteen million bucks, eh? (Anguished laughter) Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aha ha ha (voice cracking) Good for you, Fred, yeah. No, I'm happy over here, no, I. Listen- what'd you get me again there, Fred, I -- I can't remember what you got me, I -- I know I got you the fourteen million, but I can't. I can't remember for the life of ... oh, yeah, the cup! Yeah, I remember now. Yes, thanks for asking, I'm enjoying the cup there. I, uh ... had some tea out of it the other day there, and, uh ... some coffee, I'm hoping to have some soup there and, uh. Guess there's no chance of that cup skyrocketing in value at all, eh? No, I guess that's the sensible you. Well, I gotta go now, Fred. I gotta go apply a shard of glass to my throat. Okay, goodbye.' "

There is one commercial that keeps playng every year that I actually look forward to: the Hershey Kisses ringing bells. For those who have not seen it: HERE. The thing has been playing since 1990!

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

So anyway, the same damn thought occurs to me every year: Who the Fuck Gives Out Lottery Tickets as Gifts?!

I wouldn't mind a lottery ticket as a gift. I mean, obviously I'd prefer Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but mink for Christmas. But as gifts go, a lottery ticket at least holds out the prospect of unimaginable plenty. Better than a box of chocs or pair of socks or whatever, anyway.

Wearing nothing but mink? I'd prefer Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but my bedsheet.

That's phase 2 of his carefully crafted, well thought out plan.

 

[blablover5]

So anyway, the same damn thought occurs to me every year: Who the Fuck Gives Out Lottery Tickets as Gifts?!

I wouldn't mind a lottery ticket as a gift. I mean, obviously I'd prefer Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but mink for Christmas. But as gifts go, a lottery ticket at least holds out the prospect of unimaginable plenty. Better than a box of chocs or pair of socks or whatever, anyway.

I imagine that you just want to wear the mink and have her clean your bathroom or something.

 

[Holdfast]

I wouldn't mind a lottery ticket as a gift. I mean, obviously I'd prefer Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but mink for Christmas. But as gifts go, a lottery ticket at least holds out the prospect of unimaginable plenty. Better than a box of chocs or pair of socks or whatever, anyway.

Wearing nothing but mink? I'd prefer Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but my bedsheet.

Either way, one has the fun of unwrapping her on Christmas morning.

So anyway, the same damn thought occurs to me every year: Who the Fuck Gives Out Lottery Tickets as Gifts?!

I wouldn't mind a lottery ticket as a gift. I mean, obviously I'd prefer Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but mink for Christmas. But as gifts go, a lottery ticket at least holds out the prospect of unimaginable plenty. Better than a box of chocs or pair of socks or whatever, anyway.

I imagine that you just want to wear the mink and have her clean your bathroom or something.

Mmmm. Kinky. I bet she gets really dirty with the toilet brush, the little minx.

 

[Maestro]

Wow... I'll be in my bunk.

Notifying the mod.

And not you, Holdfast.

 

[Data Holmes]

Last Christmas or the one before that, I saw that very old Christmasy Folgers commerical, the one where the family wakes up to a hot pot of coffee only to find that the eldest son, Peter that was apparently away for a while, perhaps in college or in the military. had come home to them. I'd say it was made in the late 70s or early 80s. Last night, I saw a new Folgers commerical, thinking about that one.

I saw that commercial last week. It is a classic.

Agreed. That is one of the classics...

I always liked the Bud Clydesdale commercials this time of year too.

 

[Holdfast]

Wow... I'll be in my bunk.

Notifying the mod.

And not you, Holdfast.

Yeah, well, I'll be in my bunk too. With Anne.