Etiquette
- Thread starter doubleohfive
- Start date
.....
"Just to be clear" is places the burden of guilt on yourself. Scientifically proven
I'll remember that "85% less douchey" description for the next time I'm grading a paper.
Why would he apologize? He's not sorry. 
Apologies only mean something if they are sincere. This guy sounds like an insecure loser-- he'll do well married to a girl who models for a living.
What I would do is, every time I meet him or interact online, say, "It's me, doubleoh, not otherguy." In other words, never let him or anyone else forget.
Apologies only mean something if they are sincere. This guy sounds like an insecure loser-- he'll do well married to a girl who models for a living. What I would do is, every time I meet him or interact online, say, "It's me, doubleoh, not otherguy." In other words, never let him or anyone else forget.
Guy's a douche, so wouldn't hold your breath. He got a girl out of his league, and he KNOWS it, so will continue to be a douche to every guy she knows until she eventually leaves him...
As for the situation, since it happened on Facebook, and he refuses to man up and admit the mistake, the correct course of action is to shame him ON facebook. Call out his mistake, let everyone see his douchiness. Kinda like when someone says something stupid here
As for the situation, since it happened on Facebook, and he refuses to man up and admit the mistake, the correct course of action is to shame him ON facebook. Call out his mistake, let everyone see his douchiness. Kinda like when someone says something stupid here
I don't know, I'd let it go. Not for the guy's sake, but for the girl's. She'll have enough grief in store for her, why add to it?
If you push it, it pushes her in a corner, forces her to decide, she may attribute some of the problem to you. Perhaps a nice email to your friend saying that you'll desist for her sake. That way she knows she can count on you in a pinch, which sounds like it'll just be a matter of time with this guy.
Mr Awe
If you push it, it pushes her in a corner, forces her to decide, she may attribute some of the problem to you. Perhaps a nice email to your friend saying that you'll desist for her sake. That way she knows she can count on you in a pinch, which sounds like it'll just be a matter of time with this guy.
Mr Awe
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I agree with everyone. Your lady friend's fiancé is a rude douchebag, and if one of my female friends' boyfriends/SO spoke to me like that, I would tell them to fuck off. Oh, wait. That would be stooping to their level. The guy's not worth it, and it looks like you value your friendship with this girl, which is more important than getting her fiancé to apologize to you.
The guy's not worth it, and it looks like you value your friendship with this girl, which is more important than getting her fiancé to apologize to you.Colonel Green said:Well I was mostly joking, but to be honest "I thought I'd been clear" has a bit of a condescending tone. As if it were the fault of the other person for failing to to understand what was clearly a well thought out and well stated post.
"Just to be clear" is 85% less douchey, places the burden of guilt on yourself. Scientifically proven
Now that got me thinking.
I can understand the problem you have with "I thought I'd been clear"--though I can also see it as almost a talking to oneself type thing, self-questioning. But I guess it being "spoken aloud," as it were, lessens that aspect, huh?
So I'm interested in your opinion on similar things:
Is "I guess I wasn't clear" too similar to the first statement or does it raise sufficient uncertainty as to the speaker's own phrasing?
I'm curious because I realized years ago that a good number of the disagreements Hubby and I had were because of different interpretations of certain words. I say something intending meaning "A", he interprets it with meaning "B" and responds. I, thinking of "A," then react to his statement..."incorrectly." The fault is neither his nor mine, but an understandable miscommunication.
Problem is, because we're both are certain our interpretations are correct (because both are possible), the source of the disagreement is difficult to find because now
we're both too frustrated. Fortunately (and law school has helped in this), I've become more aware of when the disconnect happens. Hubby isn't always thrilled when I stop the conversation to clarify something one of us said, but it sidetracks the conversation from becoming a full disagreement.
sorry to go so OT
You should totally bring it up the next time you see him. Be passive aggressive as all hell. Dude is an asshole no doubt about it.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
This was all for nothing. All of it.
"Sue" -- her real name was Katie, my dear special and wonderful friend -- died last night in Australia. Her sister is flying there now.
"Sue" -- her real name was Katie, my dear special and wonderful friend -- died last night in Australia. Her sister is flying there now.
Oh my God. I am so very, very sorry.
That is shocking news. I guess it really puts things in perspective, hopefully for everyone involved in the situaton. I'm so sorry to hear about this.
Oh, no! I'm sorry to hear that. Do you know what happened?
Do you know what happened?
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Thanks you guys. I still don't know a lot about what happened ... there's not been much of an appropriate window to query Katie's family about what happened... but I'm devastated here.
Something I did not include in my original post was what a happy, soulful, and musical person Katie was. She had this energy that transcended distance and online interaction; it was obvious in how everyone interacted with her ... and I could hear it in her voice every time we spoke. Likewise, it's why I was willing to put up with her fiance's shenanigans... she was just too wonderful to blow off because of the guy she was with. There was a bit of magic in her that touched a lot of people. It breaks my heart that this magic has been extinguished.
Something I did not include in my original post was what a happy, soulful, and musical person Katie was. She had this energy that transcended distance and online interaction; it was obvious in how everyone interacted with her ... and I could hear it in her voice every time we spoke. Likewise, it's why I was willing to put up with her fiance's shenanigans... she was just too wonderful to blow off because of the guy she was with. There was a bit of magic in her that touched a lot of people. It breaks my heart that this magic has been extinguished.
Oh, man, this is shocking. I'm so sorry about your friend, doubleoh. My sincere condolences.
Please keep us updated on details as you learn them.
Please keep us updated on details as you learn them.
Whoa... You have my sympathies there, DoubleOh. Yowza...
Regrets,
-CM-
Regrets,
-CM-
Dear God that is horrible news. You have my heartfelt condolences.
That was my first thought.
If you're going to get bent out of shape over a comment on the internet, you're not going to be able to handle her career if it takes off and she ends up on billboards or anything like that.
And reading on in the thread... turned out to have a shockingly sad ending. Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.
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