ENT Caption Contest #87: Enemy Mine, Idea Someone Else's

[Skywalker]

Greetings, captionettes! Seems we're full up on hilarity from the last contest, which means it's time to--

Yes, yes, I was just getting to that!

First up, we have the "J.J. Abrams Has Ruined Everything!" award, going to:

Archer: what's up with Malcolm?
Phlox: he's got a case of numb tongue at the moment captain.

Up next is the "You Haven't Experienced Tarantino Until You've Read Him in the Original Vulcan" award, going to:

That Vulcan ketsunoana. I don't have a Fu Manchu! I bet she has never even seen a Tarantino movie, for that matter!

Followed by the "Won't You Not Be My Valentine?" award, going to:

T'Pol: What is so amusing, Captain?
Archer: Oh, the execs' ideas for the show's finale. There's a great joke here about turning us all into holodeck characters.

Next is the "Works Almost Every Time" award, going to:

Travis: "Well well well, what have we here?"

Hoshi: "Stop that right now. You are not Lando Calrissian."

And last but not least, the "Any Port in an Ion Storm" award, going to:

Trip: Hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go.

Hoshi: Oh come on! It's the Captain's dog for crying out loud! How long have we been in space anyway??

"They gave me a line in this episode."

Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats to our winners!

They say that the night is darkest before the dawn, but evidently those people never watched the middle portion of ENT's second season. Ladies and gents, I give you "Dawn." Have fun!

 

[INACTIVEUSS Einstein]

Your right molar needs some filling.

T'Pol!!

You can't go in there Trip, the whole compartment's flooded with radiation.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Trip: "Ouch! We should have listened to those warnings about sex in the desert! I've got sand boldly going where no sand has gone before!"
T'Pol (OS): "Me, too."

 

[apenpaap]

Alien: "STOP RAPPING, YOU HUMAN BASTARD!"

 

[lurok]

Thanks for the Valentine

Knocking sound on shuttlepod door.

Seventh Day Adventists (OS): Can we talk to you about our Lord?

Trip (thinks): Crap.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Dang, this is sho mo' complicated than a boat ingin. Ah kaint even figger out how ta open tha dooor.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

T'Pol: "Let me in!!!"
Trip: "But how do I know it's really you? I mean, this galaxy is lousy with shapeshifters!"

 

[jespah]

Trip: "Ouch! We should have listened to those warnings about sex in the desert! I've got sand boldly going where no sand has gone before!"
T'Pol (OS): "Me, too."

Archer (OS): That makes three of us.
Porthos (OS): Woof!
Archer (OS): Make that four of us.

 

[Triskelion]

Thank you twice Ln X~!!

Computer: Temporal incursion in progress.

Trip: Let's see how Riker likes getting beamed into a wall three days before retirement.

There's something out on the wing! Oh wait - it's just Madeline. Not now!

Louis Gossett Jr. owes me child support!

Look man, we don't all know each other!

PEZ MEEEEEE!

Look in my shorts! Not all species keep their Pez in the same place!

Mother was right. I should have gone into porn. More benefits, fewer rubdowns.

 

[Skywalker]

Thank you twice Ln X~!!

 

[Triskelion]

Thank you twice Ln X~!!

Sorry that was my cat ran across the keyboard Skywalker! I don't know where I am! Is that you, grandma?

I do apologize Skywalker! at meself.

Must. Read. Before. Submit.

Never piss off the transporter chief.

 

[Skywalker]

You are forgiven.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Dude, breath mints. Look it in to it.

 

[R. Star]

Trip: Am I pregnant again?

 

[Ln X]

Trip: You maybe asking why I'm naked, lying down on rocks and in a complete daze. Well you see T'Pol and I took a trip down to Vulcan and her idea of fun is exploring these barren dusty forges in the middle of nowhere, that was arduous enough until I had the misfortune of her Pon'Far suddenly striking. Sorry did I say misfortune? Right now she's engaging in a little foreplay though I shudder to think what will happen when she pounces upon me...

 

[Triskelion]

Here comes the law again. Can't a guy just hang out in his shuttle in a school zone anymore?

Oh no, I forgot T'Pol's birthday! I wonder if she'll accept an email coupon for a Florida gator bellyrub?

Trip: You remind me of the girl who got me pregnant.
Alien: What do you think I am, some kind of galactic moron?

Trip: No no no! Vulcan neuropressure starts slower!

Alien: If you're so hot why don't you take off the sweater?
Trip: Like I haven't heard that one before!

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

T'Pol (OS): What is the meaning of this sign?
Trip: You're supposed to get in here first.
T'Pol (OS): How exactly will the shuttlepod be rocking?

Trip: I see captions.
Therapist: How often do you see them?
Trip: All the time. They're everywhere.

Alien of the Week: I thought you were the one who liked making out with aliens?
Trip: Female aliens!
AofW: I am the female of my species.

Trip: That's not a phase pistol!

The Chief Engineer's new uniform was so soft and smooth it was like he was wearing nothing at all.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Was it good for you?

ARCHER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

TRIP: Fine, you can be Dennis Quaid and I'll be Lou Gossett!!!

 

[Skywalker]

I think this one's gone on long enough. Onward!

 

[Bahz]

Can't a guy have some privacy while reading ... ummm ... the engine schematics. That's it. I'm busy reading engine schematics.

I just had the most awful nightmare about spending the rest of my life signing autographs and telling Trekkies that I felt honored to be killed off in the last episode.