ENT Caption Competition #006 Hoist A Few

[Tenacity]

Today's triumphant winners

The proctology award goes to T'Boggan

Archer " Is that your finger?"
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The learners permit award goes to Nerys Myk

T'POL: Turn the wheels and back up...
MAYWEATHER: Man, parallel parking is hard.
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The Trick Or Treat award goes to IMC Headquarters

TUCKER: Damm! We forgot to bring bags. Trick-or-treating's going to be a bust this year. Who do you suppose lives here, anyhow?
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The Hadji award goes to Herbert

T'Pol: Sim Sim Salabim!
Trip: uh, is that what your supposed to say when you mind meld?
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[Herbert]

Thanks for the win @Tenacity

Andorian Dude: Well, it's, er. It's blue.

(sorry, low hanging fruit but I just had to do it )

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Mirror Phlox: Mmmm. Kelpien?

Mirror T'Pol: My grandmother's recipe.

 

[Tenacity]

Shran: Here's that urine sample you asked for.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

SHRAN: The e-mail said this would add five inches to my antennae. Money back guaranteed.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

T'POL: What goatee?

 

[IMC Headquarters]

SHRAN: "Shran's Tan-in-a-Can"! I'll make millions...

 

[Tenacity]

T'Pol: Here's to a uneventful journey.
Archer: Here here.
Trip: I'll drink to that.
Hoshi (os): Captain, incoming transmission.
Archer: Who is it?
Hoshi (os): Death.


Woman: So when are you going on your next test flight?
Archer: Right after we both get good and drunk.
Robinson: I'm sure as hell not going up there sober.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ARCHER: Drink up. The Xindi Constructor Fleet is on its way...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

PHLOX: If this were Captain Sisko's Defiant, we could not only clean the galaxy's chronometers...we could reset them back to the stone age. And use those rocks to pulp whole societies...
T'POL: (to self) Wish I had a cloaking device right now...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

T'POL: Commander? Why are you taking a selfie using your wine glass?

 

[IMC Headquarters]

SHRAN: The glass is half-full. No. Wait. It's half-empty. Um but it is half-full. And it's half-empty, too. And or it's some optical illusion created by a filthy Tellarite swine who wants to promote a culture of insecurity and self-doubt TO TOTALLY INCAPACITATE US PRIOR TO THEIR INVASION!

 

[Tenacity]

Shran: So, is the glass half full, or half empty?
T'Pol: It is half full of fluid and half full of atmosphere and therefor full.
Shran: You take the fun out of everything T'Pol.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

SHRAN: Aqua Velva. I paid a fortune to ebay obtaining this RARE! sample from 1975. It's the only perfume in the quadrant which can effectively mask the smell of any filthy Tellarite.

 

[Delta Vega]

This stuff plays havoc with my complexion

 

[IMC Headquarters]

SHRAN: Founder? Why do you look so sad?

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Morn: The Early Years

 

[Doc Mugatu]

Blalock: John, I just don't get why my agents end up declaring bankruptcy and committing suicide?

Billingsley: It's because your acting is terrible and puts a stink on ALL their clients which means no more commissions. Their gold-digging wives then divorce them and leave them destitute. To be honest, "T'pew" would be a more accurate name for your character! No offense.

Blalock: None taken.

 

[Doc Mugatu]

Archer: Good old Doc Phlox said 3 doses of this will take you from a triple-A to a double-D.

Tucker: Yeah, get ready to go from T'Pol to T'WOW!

T'pol: I don't get it.

Archer/Tucker (in unison): YOU WILL!

 

[Doc Mugatu]

Sadly Captain Archer never saw the ironic flaw in his plan.

Archer: I just want to thank you two for helping me get rid of my narcotic laced urine samples!