ENT Caption Competition #006 Hoist A Few

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Enterprise' started by Tenacity, Nov 13, 2018.

  1. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Today's triumphant winners

    The proctology award goes to T'Boggan

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    Archer " Is that your finger?"
    ................................

    The learners permit award goes to Nerys Myk

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    T'POL: Turn the wheels and back up...
    MAYWEATHER: Man, parallel parking is hard.
    ....................................

    The Trick Or Treat award goes to IMC Headquarters

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    TUCKER: Damm! We forgot to bring bags. Trick-or-treating's going to be a bust this year. Who do you suppose lives here, anyhow?
    .................

    The Hadji award goes to Herbert

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    T'Pol: Sim Sim Salabim!
    Trip: uh, is that what your supposed to say when you mind meld?
    ...............................
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  2. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Apr 20, 2017
    Location:
    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
    Thanks for the win @Tenacity


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    Andorian Dude: Well, it's, er. It's blue.

    (sorry, low hanging fruit but I just had to do it :biggrin: )
     
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  3. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    standard orbit
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    Mirror Phlox: Mmmm. Kelpien?

    Mirror T'Pol: My grandmother's recipe.
     
  4. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    [​IMG]
    Shran: Here's that urine sample you asked for.
     
  5. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
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    SHRAN: The e-mail said this would add five inches to my antennae. Money back guaranteed.
     
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  6. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    T'POL: What goatee?
     
  7. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    SHRAN: "Shran's Tan-in-a-Can"! I'll make millions...
     
  8. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]
    T'Pol: Here's to a uneventful journey.
    Archer: Here here.
    Trip: I'll drink to that.
    Hoshi (os): Captain, incoming transmission.
    Archer: Who is it?
    Hoshi (os): Death.

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    Woman: So when are you going on your next test flight?
    Archer: Right after we both get good and drunk.
    Robinson: I'm sure as hell not going up there sober.
     
  9. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    ARCHER: Drink up. The Xindi Constructor Fleet is on its way...
     
  10. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    PHLOX: If this were Captain Sisko's Defiant, we could not only clean the galaxy's chronometers...we could reset them back to the stone age. And use those rocks to pulp whole societies...
    T'POL: (to self) Wish I had a cloaking device right now...
     
  11. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    T'POL: Commander? Why are you taking a selfie using your wine glass?
     
  12. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    [​IMG]

    SHRAN: The glass is half-full. No. Wait. It's half-empty. Um but it is half-full. And it's half-empty, too. And or it's some optical illusion created by a filthy Tellarite swine who wants to promote a culture of insecurity and self-doubt TO TOTALLY INCAPACITATE US PRIOR TO THEIR INVASION!
     
  13. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]

    Shran: So, is the glass half full, or half empty?
    T'Pol: It is half full of fluid and half full of atmosphere and therefor full.
    Shran: You take the fun out of everything T'Pol.
     
  14. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    SHRAN: Aqua Velva. I paid a fortune to ebay obtaining this RARE! sample from 1975. It's the only perfume in the quadrant which can effectively mask the smell of any filthy Tellarite.
     
  15. Delta Vega

    Delta Vega Captain Captain

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    Location:
    The Great Barrier
    This stuff plays havoc with my complexion
     
  16. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    SHRAN: Founder? Why do you look so sad?
     
  17. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    Morn: The Early Years
     
  18. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Blalock: John, I just don't get why my agents end up declaring bankruptcy and committing suicide?

    Billingsley: It's because your acting is terrible and puts a stink on ALL their clients which means no more commissions. Their gold-digging wives then divorce them and leave them destitute. To be honest, "T'pew" would be a more accurate name for your character! No offense.

    Blalock: None taken.
     
  19. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Archer: Good old Doc Phlox said 3 doses of this will take you from a triple-A to a double-D.

    Tucker: Yeah, get ready to go from T'Pol to T'WOW!

    T'pol: I don't get it.

    Archer/Tucker (in unison): YOU WILL! :devil:
     
  20. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Sadly Captain Archer never saw the ironic flaw in his plan.

    Archer: I just want to thank you two for helping me get rid of my narcotic laced urine samples!