Dumped

[Australis]

I've said elsewhere I'm sorry this happened, just wanted to say it again.

As most of the above have said, breathing space for both you might be a good idea. You know how much you miss her. What you want her to understand is what it's like when someone pushes you away, thst she can't just call you up whenever she wants. Set a few rules of your own. Be polite, but firm.

Some women think men are like tiles: lay them properly the first time, and you can walk all over them forever. While I know you don't have that kind of relationship, the principle's the same. They are, sadly, wired to seek any advantage.

--Australis, sad, bitter, & pissed off with the whole marriage thing. Especially id you marry the wrong person.

 

[apostle83]

You're probably right.

The only thing is, we have a dog together. Should I tell her to just communicate to me about that through email?

 

[JuanBolio]

Tell her to surrender the dog or be destroyed.

 

[BigFoot]

All your dog are belong to us.

 

[apostle83]

Well, he's really her dog, but I had agreed long ago to watch him for her, and I'm a man of my word.

 

[Aurian]

Just give her the dog and dont look after it.. it is just going to be more difficult for the both of you.

 

[Major Chord]

The dog should probably go to which ever one of you it gravitates to more. That way, the dog is happy, with who ever it ends up with. I mean, if you know that she is going to mistreat the dog, or give it away, you should probably keep it, but if it chooses her, I wouldn't fight for it. If the dog chooses you, it will probably be a reminder of "her", but at least the dog can help you to move on, by being a silent supporter for you.

 

[SeerSGB]

I cringe a little every time I hear of a couple getting a pet together then breaking up not to soon after. I've seen a lot of times that one of the other gets the animal, and the animal ends either being given away as a get back at the other person or mistreated cause it's a reminder of the relationship.

Not saying Apostle would do that or his ex either, not by a long shot.

 

[apostle83]

I cringe a little every time I hear of a couple getting a pet together then breaking up not to soon after. I've seen a lot of times that one of the other gets the animal, and the animal ends either being given away as a get back at the other person or mistreated cause it's a reminder of the relationship.

Not saying Apostle would do that or his ex either, not by a long shot.

I like the little guy.
We've gone on three walks today. He's helping me lose weight.

The thing is... after a 1.5 mile walk, he's not tired and goes straight back to the door! He's by it now and we just got back in 10 minutes ago!

 

[Scout101]

you don't have a dog "together" anymore, Apostle. All you currently have together is a past. Right now, YOU have a dog. She does not. Unless she is going to take the dog, in which case you don't have one. It's not a child, there are no real visitation rights, it's a dog. Split up with your other posessions. You're treating it still as your shared dog because it's part of how you want to feel.

Right now that is probably ok, but look at it another way: Say, 5 years from now, you've both moved on and are in other relationships. Is your new gf going to be ok, do you think, with you and the ex constantly chatting about your shared dog, occasional visitations, etc? I'm sure most people's significant other wouldn't be thrilled about the constant contact with an ex, especially if it's about a dog and not a child.

Only thing different between today and later on is that you're still thinking of it as a relationship.

He's your dog at this point. If she wants a picture of him once in a while, that's perfectly reasonable, i guess, but that other than hearing about major problems, or maybe a picture once a year or so, she's given up any rights to him that she had. He's your dog now. If she wanted him, she'd have kept him and not brought him to you after the breakup in the first place...

 

[Crusher Disciple]

I like the little guy.
We've gone on three walks today. He's helping me lose weight.

The thing is... after a 1.5 mile walk, he's not tired and goes straight back to the door! He's by it now and we just got back in 10 minutes ago!

Don't worry- we'll get you a cat. You'll like it way better than a dog.

 

[apostle83]

I like the little guy.
We've gone on three walks today. He's helping me lose weight.

The thing is... after a 1.5 mile walk, he's not tired and goes straight back to the door! He's by it now and we just got back in 10 minutes ago!

Don't worry- we'll get you a cat. You'll like it way better than a dog.

Wait... you offering?

 

[John Picard]

I cringe a little every time I hear of a couple getting a pet together then breaking up not to soon after. I've seen a lot of times that one of the other gets the animal, and the animal ends either being given away as a get back at the other person or mistreated cause it's a reminder of the relationship.

Not saying Apostle would do that or his ex either, not by a long shot.

I like the little guy.
We've gone on three walks today. He's helping me lose weight.

The thing is... after a 1.5 mile walk, he's not tired and goes straight back to the door! He's by it now and we just got back in 10 minutes ago!

Chicks dig dogs, and they dig cute little dogs, and they like guys who have cute little dogs who aren't fat-asses because they're always out walking their dog.

There's potential here

 

[Crusher Disciple]

Wait... you offering?

You want a skinny one or a fat one?

The only come in black, Batman.

 

[Scout101]

see? things are looking up, you're already getting offered another pussy...

Oh come on, SOMEONE was gonna say it!

 

[Kemaiku]

see? things are looking up, you're already getting offered another pussy...

Oh come on, SOMEONE was gonna say it!

Pretty sure we weren't.

 

[JuanBolio]

I like the little guy.
We've gone on three walks today. He's helping me lose weight.

The thing is... after a 1.5 mile walk, he's not tired and goes straight back to the door! He's by it now and we just got back in 10 minutes ago!

Don't worry- we'll get you a cat. You'll like it way better than a dog.

Wait... you offering?

It wouldn't be the first time pussy was offered on this board...

 

[Professor Zoom]

Well, he's really her dog, but I had agreed long ago to watch him for her, and I'm a man of my word.

No. No. No.

You are broken up. If it's REALLY her dog, then she needs to be responsible for it. That means either taking it back, finding a new place for it, or at the least, paying you to take care of the dog.

You need to get this clarified. Who is financially responsible for the dog? Legally responsible for the dog?

If there is a major accident with the dog, who will pay the vet bills? You? Her?

Sure, there was an assumption you would be together so you think it's your dog too, but you just said: really it's hers.

Does she feel the same way?

If it's HER dog, then it should be HER responsibility.

Clean. Break.

 

[SeerSGB]

Well, he's really her dog, but I had agreed long ago to watch him for her, and I'm a man of my word.

No. No. No.

You are broken up. If it's REALLY her dog, then she needs to be responsible for it. That means either taking it back, finding a new place for it, or at the least, paying you to take care of the dog.

You need to get this clarified. Who is financially responsible for the dog? Legally responsible for the dog?

If there is a major accident with the dog, who will pay the vet bills? You? Her?

Sure, there was an assumption you would be together so you think it's your dog too, but you just said: really it's hers.

Does she feel the same way?

If it's HER dog, then it should be HER responsibility.

Clean. Break.

Oh I say when the vet bills roll in or the dog bites someone and the legal shit-storm hits, it'll be "his dog" real damn good and quick when she's called over it.

 

[Australis]

I have to agre with Prof Zoom here.