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Dumped

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Why does it feel like I keep getting ignored lately?

I had a perfectly good example to prove that not just women play the "nothing" game but it's just passed right by everyone.

I need to wear flashier clothes.
You're right. It's about personality type, not gender. Although a lot of people still like to conform to old ideas of gender roles....
 
Why does it feel like I keep getting ignored lately?

I had a perfectly good example to prove that not just women play the "nothing" game but it's just passed right by everyone.

I need to wear flashier clothes.
You're right. It's about personality type, not gender. Although a lot of people still like to conform to old ideas of gender roles....

It's a stereotype, sure, but it's a fairly accurate one. Some guys do it to, like blab's fiancée but I don't think it's unfair to say that it's women who do it the most.

I'm also in the "do not help her move" camp. If the situation was reversed she would only help you move by throwing all of your stuff out the window. At the very most, box her stuff up and leave it somewhere she can find it.
 
Why does it feel like I keep getting ignored lately?

I had a perfectly good example to prove that not just women play the "nothing" game but it's just passed right by everyone.

I need to wear flashier clothes.
You're right. It's about personality type, not gender. Although a lot of people still like to conform to old ideas of gender roles....

It's a stereotype, sure, but it's a fairly accurate one. Some guys do it to, like blab's fiancée but I don't think it's unfair to say that it's women who do it the most.
I disagree. You constantly hear women complain about men being "uncommunicative." It's one of those things that men and women do equally, yet persist in attributing to the opposite sex because it gives them that little illusion of superiority.
 
I disagree. You constantly hear women complain about men being "uncommunicative." It's one of those things that men and women do equally, yet persist in attributing to the opposite sex because it gives them that little illusion of superiority.

That's a different thing. Sure, men don't typically like to babble (or blabble :) ) on about their feelings all the time but it's not the same thing as not giving straight answers to simple questions, nor is it the same as asking questions that cannot be answered without them turning in to a fight. "Nothing" is not a good enough answer to "What's wrong ?".
 
Last night, my gf of 15 months who I was in the process of purchasing an engagement ring dumped me because of something we have had dozens of conversations about: Perseverence of the Saints/Eternal security or whatever the hell you want to call the belief that once converted, you can do nothing to cause separation between you and God. I believe Apostasy is possible; she does not.

When I say that we have had literally dozens of conversations about this, I am not kidding.

My heart is broken. From the amount of bawling she has done, her heart is broken. She honestly believes this is irreconcilable. :(


I've been trying to work from home today, trying not to bring this up anywhere, but I can't.

I haven't slept since 8:30cst last night. I've been bawling like a baby most of that time. I love this girl. She loves me. She says we could get back together if the Lord changed her beliefs.

I'm blown away, as we are both fundamentalist Christians.

Excuse me, I think I'm going to go bawl like a blubbering baby some more.

You got dumped for God? Whoa, that's pretty pathetic, if you come to think about it.
 
The comfort is though that you'll be wiser once this is behind you.

That's not a guarantee. It's entirely possible for people to keep repeating the same mistakes. Apostle, at least his online personality, seems remarkably resistant to learning, adapting, or changing. He seems pretty set in his ways. He'll often state something, assume it's true, and never checks facts or listens to counter arguments. I'm guessing that this played into the demise of the relationship. However, I do hope that he learns from this. It is a great learning opportunity.

Mr Awe
 
Why does it feel like I keep getting ignored lately?

I had a perfectly good example to prove that not just women play the "nothing" game but it's just passed right by everyone.

I need to wear flashier clothes.


Well, I can't speak for everyone else here, but I have you on Ignore.
 
Don't help her move, for fuck sake. That's just a lovesick puppy maneuver.

If there's anything that women like and anything that'll make her respect him more...it's acting like a spineless quivering mass of lard willing to do any and everything to make her love him.
 
My heart is broken. From the amount of bawling she has done, her heart is broken. She honestly believes this is irreconcilable. :(

I don't know why? It's not like it's something that keeps someone out of salvation, it's just a difference of opinion. Unless you're going the whole free will vs. predestination deal....
It sounds more like you guys had communication problems, and there's other things that are plaguing her, but she took the obvious one and made that the fulcrum.

I agree with everyone here when they say don't go helping her move. You run the risk of turning into the friend instead of the love interest, and if your feelings don't change for her that will suck....madly. If she doesn't start coming back now, don't wait at beck and call for it to happen. She cut it, let her repair it if need be. Anything more and risk either being scary stalker or nice friend only.

You probably should go out and do some target shooting, or hunting for that matter. Call some friends up and do something. Don't grieve too long, it'll lead to obsession. The pain will subside in time, it's not instant....of course I'm saying all this like it's your first dumping, Iohknow, you could know all this already.

Good luck. :(


Good advice. If we meet to exchange the dog this weekend on Sunday, I will be down at the farm Saturday clearing brush from around the old homesite and thinning out the trees around the pond.

If we meet Saturday, that won't happen.
 
Don't help her move, for fuck sake. That's just a lovesick puppy maneuver.

If there's anything that women like and anything that'll make her respect him more...it's acting like a spineless quivering mass of lard willing to do any and everything to make her love him.

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her desverve
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem

oh yeah, yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
All this rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she's saying all that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying all that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care; Right? Yeah!

Now I'll relate this little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
She's Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

oh yeah, yeah, yeah
When she's saying all that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying all that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care; Right?
 
Why does it feel like I keep getting ignored lately?

I had a perfectly good example to prove that not just women play the "nothing" game but it's just passed right by everyone.

I need to wear flashier clothes.


Well, I can't speak for everyone else here, but I have you on Ignore.

Well it's still your own fault as now you're gonna miss out on all the sexy guy goodness.

I disagree. You constantly hear women complain about men being "uncommunicative." It's one of those things that men and women do equally, yet persist in attributing to the opposite sex because it gives them that little illusion of superiority.

That's a different thing. Sure, men don't typically like to babble (or blabble :) ) on about their feelings all the time but it's not the same thing as not giving straight answers to simple questions, nor is it the same as asking questions that cannot be answered without them turning in to a fight. "Nothing" is not a good enough answer to "What's wrong ?".

That's another misnomer all women don't ask questions that will start a fight or give vague answers to what's bothering them. For some who do it's for the same reason guys do, they are gonna fix it on their own they don't want help.

I hate these stupid stereotypes, everyone is different there are no set rules of behavior for gender. Just get over it.
 
Hey apostle, I'm sorry for my earlier comment.

I always thought that you were kind of a sham and a faker, but I am starting to see that this at least is the real deal.

I feel for you and don't wish this hurt on you.
 
Hey apostle, I'm sorry for my earlier comment.

I always thought that you were kind of a sham and a faker, but I am starting to see that this at least is the real deal.

I feel for you and don't wish this hurt on you.

I'm really too heartbroken right now to feel insulted or hurt by anyone else. I went to the gym last night to start easing back into working out without hurting myself and I don't think my heart ever got to beating as fast as it did when I was getting dumped... and my heart rate monitor said I was getting 175.
 
Grab My Goblin: NO!!!! You NEVER leave the communication lines open. EVER. That's how a sucker gets raked over the coals & extends the "I'm-on-the-fence-about-us" bullshit indefinately which often includes her crying on the nice guy's shoulder about other guys. Once the ex is out the door, the ex is officially out the door once & for all. PERIOD.
 
Grab My Goblin: NO!!!! You NEVER leave the communication lines open. EVER. That's how a sucker gets raked over the coals & extends the "I'm-on-the-fence-about-us" bullshit indefinately which often includes her crying on the nice guy's shoulder about other guys. Once the ex is out the door, the ex is officially out the door once & for all. PERIOD.

Don't mince words. Tell us what you really think.
 
While my wife and I are both atheist we do have some significant differences of opinion on some major issues:

- She is vehemently opposed to abortion (inc. when the mother is at risk);
- She agrees with and supports the death penalty;
- She supports the right of individuals to own guns.

I however;
- Am pro-choice on abortion (making it illegal does not stop abortions);
- Think that the death penalty is wrong, fundamentally flawed and unfairly applied;
- Would ban all guns from the face of the planet.

Sure we have some interesting discussions from time to time on all the above but if you love each other does any of that really matter?
 
I hate these stupid stereotypes, everyone is different there are no set rules of behavior for gender. Just get over it.


Spoken like a typical Swede.

While my wife and I are both atheist we do have some significant differences of opinion on some major issues:

- She is vehemently opposed to abortion (inc. when the mother is at risk);
- She agrees with and supports the death penalty;
- She supports the right of individuals to own guns.

I however;
- Am pro-choice on abortion (making it illegal does not stop abortions);
- Think that the death penalty is wrong, fundamentally flawed and unfairly applied;
- Would ban all guns from the face of the planet.

Sure we have some interesting discussions from time to time on all the above but if you love each other does any of that really matter?

You could've just said "She's a Republican, I'm a Democrat" and saved yourself the typing ;)
 
Don't help her move, for fuck sake. That's just a lovesick puppy maneuver.

If there's anything that women like and anything that'll make her respect him more...it's acting like a spineless quivering mass of lard willing to do any and everything to make her love him.

They're right, do not under any circumstances help her move.

If you're really worried for her safety, recommend a reliable professional mover and tell her to take a Greyhound bus. She'll be safer than she would have been with an amateur coordinating her move.
 
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