DS9 Caption Context 95: Inconstant Constable

[Smellincoffee]

The last two weeks have been all about Quark, and this time right behind him -- isn't he always behind Quark -- is the good constable Odo, ever quick with a begruding comment or cynical observation. But he has a soft interior beneath that hard frown; you might even say he turns to goo. (Especially around the Major.)

But first! Winners!

Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called 'menage a trois'?

BRUNT: Simon says aim the blaster. Raise your hand in the air. Quark, you're out.

It wasn't until half-way through their routine that Quark realized the Klingon Ballroom Dance Competition was to the death.

Hagoth: Are the safeties on?
Quark: The weapon or the holosuite's?
Gaila: This is going to get very confusing very fast.

Some days you get the tribble. Other days the tribble gets you.

Dax: (thinking) Our security measures stink. How the hell did Quark get aboard the Defiant?!

And now,...the Constable!

(Good luck.)

 

[CaptainJon]

Oh, cool! I won!

Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place, Captain.

Oh, god...I don't know how but she found me!

One wrong note and the entire station blows up! Damn, I wish I hadn't stopped taking lessons when I was a child.

Quark: This is what happens when you arrest your own barber.

I'm melting! I'm melting!

 

[Armored Saint]

ODO: And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no, no, no, I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw!

TOUR GUIDE: Welcome to the Museum of Fine Arts. This piece is one we just acquired. By contrasting a vaguely human form with cold mechanical shapes, it explores and criticizes the role of technology in our lives, and suggests that perhaps it is the technology that is shaping us. This piece was done in 1994 by an artist living in New York, it is one of the earliest and some would say the best out of his modern phase.

LWAXANA: Jean-Luc told me all about you Odo. Now that I've met you, I've lost all interest in him.
ODO (Thinking): Picard you asshole...

ODO: Kira, look! I'm the player AND the piano!
KIRA: Haha, good one Odo.
ODO: And now I'm the stage. And the entire band!

CURZON: Audred, you're still in there right?
AUDRED: I find this body quite interesting. Just a small touch on the ears causes so much...
CURZON: There's no time. We have to make a break for it. Joran will ready the shuttle, we have Emeny standing by with the transporters to get us all aboard.
JORAN: Finally we have a chance to get away from Jadzia and all the hideous men she dates!

KIRA: Jack, NOOOOOO!
ODO: Kira, I'm supposed to drown now?
KIRA: Yes Odo. That's how the Titanic holosuite program ends. Now drown quickly. Next you play a vampire.

 

[Armored Saint]

ODO: Let's get to Risa! I want to see how many penises I'm able to have and to use simultaneously with this Changeling body.
SISKO: That's my body Curzon.

 

[Schistocerca]

Sisko couldn't keep a straight face when Quark told Odo that his hair transplant looked totally natural!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODO: Okay. Quark. You caught me. I am wearing a wire.

 

[FlyingSaucrDude]

TFTW!

For some reason, the "My face is an aquarium with a Cardassian jellyfish in it!" trick was not quite as popular as the Cardassian neck trick.

 

[FlyingSaucrDude]

Sisko always found the "Trill spots" trick hilarious.

 

[FlyingSaucrDude]

Odo, moments after being found by Lwaxana even though he'd tried to hide in the form of a teddy bear.

 

[Schistocerca]

Unfortunately Odo had misheard Kira's request and had turned himself into a six foot pianist

 

[Schistocerca]

When Odo began choking on the buffet at the ambassador's reception, Lwaxana acted fast and performed the heimlich maneuver......

.....which unfortunately had some unexpected complications!!!

 

[Leviathan]

Celebrating the federation takeover of DS9 by getting hammered.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the wins!

Odo: Nice aim, sucker.

Lwaxana: What are you going to change shape into now?

Odo: A road runner. Meep! Meep!

Odo: And now, our next song: My heart will go on.

Worf: This wedding reception is without honor!

Quark: What'll it be, Odo?

Odo: You. In Jail.

Odo: By the way, I told my creditors that you'd handle the debts...

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Lwaxana: Found you at last, my sweet little Odo! Ooooo that's my boy! I'm just gonna wuv you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...
Odo: I should have joined the Great Link when I had the chance.

Odo: Kira, I wrote a song about my undying love for you.
It's been a long road, getting from there to here. It's been a long time, but my time is finally near...

 

[Mistral]

Odo: "I've gotta go-my tux is melting. C ya!"

Nerys: "That's all from your tux?"

Odo: "Well, that and my colostomy bag."

 

[Triskelion]

Ensign Schrute: Where's my stapler?

Lwaxana: There's always room for jello!

Odo: Goodness gracious Great Balls of Fire!
Kai Winn: I love this part.

Odo: Go ahead. Make my day.
Quark: I don't know, Woody Allen?

Odo: Goodbye! And remember - if you pee in the Link we'll know!
Kira: Never stopped me before!
Odo: We know!

 

[Ihlecreations]

Unfortunately Odo had misheard Kira's request and had turned himself into a six foot pianist

Nearly wet myself laughing at this.

 

[Ihlecreations]

A little known fact but only certain Shapeshifters, usually from the planet Meridian, come con gusano or "with worm"

"...And after a quick trip to a doctor on Takei Prime I did a little shape shifting of my own."

"Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons
Love to chop and to serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones
Ah mes oui, savez toujours delice"

I dare you Armin, I double dare you, mention Benson one more time...

"Hello? Bajor Plumbing? I need help with a clogged drain...No, I tried the plunger...yeah it's clogged bad...please just hurry it's starting to wave at me and I am kinda scared...ok I'll be here just ring the bell."

 

[Schistocerca]

Odo: Kira, Kira over here.
Kira: Odo what are you doing?
Odo: Waiting for you. You told me to meet you in the pool room
Kira: No Odo, I said meet me in the ballroom!
Odo: Oh. I did wonder why you told me to wear my tux!