DS9 Caption Contest 92: With Friends like These....

[Smellincoffee]

Welcome back, everyone, and hope you enjoyed that little diversion into The Office for April 1st. We're now resuming the countdown to 100, with this week's shots being dedicated to Bajorans (and other 'friends') behaving badly. But first, winners!

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DWIGHT: IT'S REAL! It's not a story! In my other life I'm a black man and the captain of a space station! I SWEAR IT'S REAL!
JIM: Right. Are you a virgin on the space station too?

Sisko: What can I do for my two executive officers?
Kira: Odo told me he loves me, and I don't know what to do.
Worf: Jadzia and are are having marital problems.
Sisko: Dammit you two! I have that Vic Fontaine program running permanently so I can avoid conversations like this!

KLINGON: Take over the station? Dude, we're the band. Which way to "Quarks"?

Dax: This isn't funny, Julian. Get rid of her.

Bashir: No, this isn't funny. The holographic Keiko programmed to appear whenever Miles is having an argument with Keiko in their quarters is. Or Holographic Dukat in Nerys' sonic shower.

[

Alien #1: Don't you find it strange that the only distinguishable difference between us and these terrans is a bump above our upper lip.
Alien #2: It is remarkable that our appearance could evolve to match there's so closely considering we our from totally different planets on opposite ends of the galaxy, but it serves our infiltration plans perfectly.
Alien #3: Yes, with these "moustaches" we will blend in flawlessly!
.

OSCAR: QUARK! This is not the holoprogram I asked for!
QUARK (os): Sorry! For 4% of the human population I've never actually met a gay person before, apparently I have your fantasies wrong.

(EC)

MICHAEL (os): Dwight, for the last time, you can't bring that batt'leth into the office.
DWIGHT: But it's National Klingon Appreciation Day!
MICHAEL (os): And your weird friends can't come in either.

This week's theme: With Friends Like These....

See you in two weeks, and happy captioning.

 

[Nebusj]

``How does the Kiss Cam keep finding us?''

Conan O'Brien is The Natural!

``Hello Cleveland!''
``Our disruptors go up to eleven!''

This is why nobody visits the Edvard-Munchian homeworld.

Odo: ``See what I have to put up with on a daily basis, folks? Sometimes it's amazing I don't just blow up the whole station.''

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Thanks for the triple-win!

DUKAT: And then I tell them, I'm just too generous. I love the Bajorans too much. And that is my greatest flaw.
ODO: As a keen observer of Bajoran nature, I find it highly unlikely that they believe you, and much more likely they're just trying not to get executed.
DUKAT: Oh, but they DO love me.
ODO: Whatever, you're the Gul.

PROPHET: You are adversarial.
SISKO: Not adversarial, competitive!
PROPHET: No civilized creature would use the DH rule.

WINN: Do you think we can ditch the politic speak and just say we want to use each other to get ourselves power? Clearly we're both super-corrupt.

MARTOK: I'm impressed Avery. You finally found a role that fits your acting style.
AVERY BROOKS: KLINGONS DO NOT...WHISPER!!!
MARTOK: We should swap characters.

Abstain. Somebody else will think of a better strap on joke than I can.

DUKAT: No, this is how we must leave the lighting during the attack. When Sisko beams over, he'll think we're Prophets.

 

[Mistral]

Klingon #2: "Excuse me, General Martok? Where on the ship did you find a pair of bull testicles?"

Martok: "These aren't bull testicles. These were Worf's-but he pissed me off."

 

[anthony_lynch15]

I got two that time.

Not many people a re aware of this but Kai Winn was a chiropractor before she joined the path of the prophets!



Can't think of anything for the other pictures at the moment.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Odo: Why are you looking at me like that?
Dukat: Odo...I wish I knew how to quit you.

Have you ever had that...not-so-fresh feeling?

Winn: What do you mean, you faked every orgasm?

Klingon: (sighs) Well, throw a rope over the rafters and hang me high!
Martok: Go jump on a bat'leth, petaQ.

Solbor: Volaaaaaaareeeeeeeeee....
Winn: (stab) STOP THAT! You are SO tone-deaf!

Odo (Prophet): Lens flares are of Bajor.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WINN: For me, "back stabbing" isn't a metaphor.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Dukat: This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Odo: I think not.

The face of a man who knows the baseball is coming, and knows too it can't be dodged.
(Moments later)
Sisko: THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Jaro: You must join me, Adami, and together we will destroy the Circle!
Winn: You're no Christopher Lee, though the resemblance is slight.

Winn: I told you what would happened if you served my tea lukewarm again, didn't I? DIDN'T I?

 

[Triskelion]

Gul Dukat: Do you know why Quark only hires Bajoran dabo girls?
Odo: No, why?
Gul Dukat: He heard they have a Prophet motive.
Odo: That's it, you're under arrest.

Prophets: If you build it, they will come....
Sisko: A baseball field?
Prophets: No, a gender-neutral toilet. OF COURSE A BASEBALL FIELD! HELLO, SYMBOLISM??

Winn: Oh, you have a problem fleeing from wormhole space?
Jaro: Yes, I did not say I had "problem fleas from your wormhole space." That would make no sense.

Kai Winn: I know it's your birthday request, Solbor, but couldn't we reenact a scene from any other movie than Pulp Fiction?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Dukat: Odo, shapeshift into a comfort woman for your old friend Skrain, okay? It's been a long duty shift.

Odo: Go spin on a Dabo table.

Sisko (offscreen): He says his name is Mike Trout VIII. You sure this guy can hit?

Jaro: With your colleagues in the Vedek Assembly backing my candidacy, Bajor will be ours.

Winn: Yeah, yeah, walk with the Prophets, I got it. Now if you don't take your hands off me this instant, I put my Vedek hat up your Politician ass.

Winn: I'm sorry, Solbor, I must have forgotten basic anatomy. You really should have asked someone else to do your prostate exam.

 

[Armored Saint]

Gul Dukat: Do you know why Quark only hires Bajoran dabo girls?
Odo: No, why?
Gul Dukat: He heard they have a Prophet motive.
Odo: That's it, you're under arrest.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ I'm ashamed that I didn't think of that pun first, actually.

 

[LeadHead]

Dukat: Odo, I need for you to find the murderer.

Odo stares at Dukat

Dukat: Not funny, Odo.

Baseball player: Aggressive, Adversarial.

Baseball Player hit by pitch.

Baseball Player: Painful!

Jaro: You and I shall be the greatest leaders Bajor has ever known! I mean unless the Cardassians are supplying my criminal organization and you start working with Dukat and get killed in a double cross.

Martok: Wow, mercilessly killing guards with a surprise attack is really tiring. Sisko, you kill the next one.

Solbor: And I thought the salary was murder...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Frank Langella: "Think about it! Count Dracula boffs Nurse Ratched! We'll knock Paris Hilton's and Pam Anderson's tapes right out of the market!"

 

[Triskelion]

Martok: Brag all you want! But don't stand between me and the "I conquered Cardassia and all I got was this lousy T shirt" shirts!

 

[Smellincoffee]

24 hour (ish) warning! Caption `em while they're hot.

 

[Armored Saint]

WINN: It's the harder you can go?
JARO: **sigh** Yes...

 

[Nebusj]

Jaro: ``Look, I know I'm a despicable, dishonest, deceptive, fundamentally unprincipled, malicious, manipulative … I'm standing right behind you, aren't I?''

 

[Smellincoffee]

That -ish is in full affect, because I'm letting this puppy run 'til tomorrow.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JARO: How about tomorrow? I'm a little tired right now.

WINN: