DS9 Caption Contest 79; that cringe-worthy awkward moment...

[Ln X]

The contest must go on...

Sisko: "Dabo for Dummies?!"

ROM: Two months, brother?

QUARK: It was worth it to see that bowl of jello go down like...a bowl of jello.

Vic: (Singing) Somewhere...beyond the sea...
Somewhere...waiting for me...
My lover stands on--golden SANDS...
And watches the ships
That go sail...in'....

Kira: Just had to rub it in, didn't he?

Quark: I've seen ships blown up, shot to pieces and vaporized but never one that's gotten f****d to death!

Jules: Do you know why Worf is so famous Miles?
Miles: He keeps making headlines.
Worf: I will kill you where you stand.
Miles: Oh give it a rest you big poof.

QUARK: So to answer your question, inter-species mating is kind of like that.

The photoshop award goes to:

After months of ignoring Jake's requests, Captain Sisko finally agreed to read his son's latest novel, and let NOTHING distract him.

The tag caption award goes to the following:

KIRA: I can't believe this Terran 20th century retro phase has lasted twelve years.
ODO: I know, it's like all humans ever refer to is popular entertainment from between 1950 and 1990. It's getting kind of annoying.
KIRA: I like their 22nd century entertainment a lot better but you never hear about it.

ODO: Why not?
KIRA: Well.... I guess most of it couldn't strictly be classed as 'legal'...

My congratulations to the winners, you came up with some good stuff!

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This caption's theme is all about awkwardness.

May the captioning commence!

 

[Ln X]

Sisko: Well chief?
O'Brien: My life is in the crapper that's what, no offence captain.

MU Kira: Before I met you I had to service myself, now I've found something even better and you my dear are going to make me -- us sorry -- very happy!

Dukat: I have always ruled with a fair and magnanimous hand!
Weyoun: Tell me Dukat, how many millions of Bajorans died during your reign as the prefect of Bajor?

Bashir: For the first time in my life I am genuinely stumped!
Dax: I don't think jokes Julian will make this plant feel any better.

Sisko: We take ourselves VERY seriously here.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Sisko: Getting a divorce?

O'Brien: No!

Sisko: Whoops. Then I really shouldn't have hit on Keiko then.

Intendant: Tell me, are you sexy and creepy simultaneously in your universe?

Bashir: Wow! So this is how you make LDS!

Worf: (over comm) Ops to Captain Sisko. A Dominion attack force is approaching.

Sisko: Not now, Mister Worf. We're doing our cool walk.

 

[Roboturner913]

O'Brien: Sorry commander ... *mutters* dammit, the one time I forget to clear my browser history.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

SISKO: Tell me the truth Miles. That was your review on captainratings.com.
O'BRIEN: You can't possibly prove it was me.
SISKO: The same account did a much better review of Jean Luc Picard.
O'BRIEN: It still could have been Worf.
SISKO: botanysucks2328?
O'BRIEN: Well...crap.

KIRA: What is this, fan fiction written by a horny 15 year old?
INTENDANT: Bashir dream sequence.

DUKAT: You know, when I was prefect of Bajor I had a 100% approval rating.
WEYOUN: What was the other poll option?
DUKAT: Hard labor.

BASHIR: THIS is a Klingon adult toy?
DAX: Curzon had one just like it.

NOG: Umm...why are you all dressed like that? Am I in a parallel universe or something?
SISKO: Of course not Captain. This is standard uniform for Ferengi Alliance Salesmen.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

O'Brien: I can use a magnet to move the metal filings from the top of his head to the bottom of his face.
Sisko: THAT ... is a good look!

Bashir: For whose pleasure?

Ezri: I hadn't thought about it before, but isn't Odo really buck naked?

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Ln X!

Thank you, Captain, this should be perfect for smashing Voles.

Intendent: Scented foam soap?
Major: So you're the Intendent - of the ladies room?

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: I still prefer Windows 7.

Sisko's 11...er 8.

BASHIR: And you say it popped up after Worf was hit in the head with an anvil?

KIRA: Just kiss me and give the fanboys what they want!

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Intendant: Admit it, you're more than just a little turned on right now.
Kira: [thinking] Damn, of course she'd know about my headband fetish!

Damar always felt left out of Weyoun and Dukat's "private meetings" at the urinal.

Bashir: I thought you said Worf was being a pain in the ass, not that he had a pain in his ass.

Sisko: Que music!
[Street Life by Randy Crawford starts playing]
Sisko: Commence strutting.

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

Thanks for the win!!

SISKO: Here's the new crew evaluations
O'BRIEN: Err... thanks, Commander
SISKO:... Aren't you going to pick it up?
O'BRIEN: I would but I can't move my arms
SISKO: Why not?
O'BRIEN:... I put my uniform on backwards and hoped nobody would notice

INTENDANT: You can use this so called 'force' all you like, but this headband isn't going to come off!
KIRA: We'll... see... about... THAT!
INTENDANT: No, seriously, it's glued to my head

WEYOUN: How many Cardassians does it take to change a lightbulb?
DUKAT: Kill him.

BASHIR: What IS that??
DAX: THAT... is a Klingon party hat

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

Worf: (over comm) Ops to Captain Sisko. A Dominion attack force is approaching.

Sisko: Not now, Mister Worf. We're doing our cool walk.

#Eye of the Tiger starts playing#

 

[Ln X]

DUKAT: You know, when I was prefect of Bajor I had a 100% approval rating.
WEYOUN: What was the other poll option?
DUKAT: Hard labor.

Weyoun: Remarkable, the Dominion has something similar.
Dukat: It's all about giving the people what they rightly deserve.
Weyoun: Absolutely!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

O'Brien: "Sorry sir. Molly's going through a phase right now. She's figured out how to use photoshop and she used my access privileges to get into the personnel files."
Sisko: "Is she the one who defaced my image?"
O'Brien: "She said you'd look better with... your face... upside down. Sorry sir."
Sisko: "Hmm. Bald and goatee... full overhaul of waste extraction, chief... not a bad look at all."

Kira: "I can't believe I kissed you."
Male Star Trek fan demographic: "WE CAN!"

Weyoun: "Because of the Founders and their cloning technology, I can call you spoonheads, 'spoonheads' all I want, and no matter what you do to me, torture me, maim me, kill me, I'll pop up again fresh as a daisy. Spoonheads!"
Dukat: "Ah yes, but we can keep killing you. It's an equitable agreement, and everyone is more than satisfied. Damar. Do the honours for Weyoun... what is it now?"
Weyoun: "Thirty-seven."
Dukat: "Weyoun thirty-seven."
Damar: "Yes sir." pulls out phaser and vaporises Weyoun

Bashir: "Perhaps Kai Win, you should keep the Opera House hat on."
Winn: "Does it look, undignified?"
Dax: "Undignified is a word..."
Bashir: "I don't think an analgesic cream is going to be enough."

Quark os: "Sorry folks, fifties crooner night has been cancelled as Vic is offline for maintenance. He's recommended a replacement, Bez from the Happy Mondays. We're having a nineties' rave night instead. You're going to have to change into hypercolour T-Shirts and baggy jeans."

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: This would be cooler if something had blown up behind us.

SISKO: We're on a space station, Chief.

O'BRIEN: Just saying.

 

[Triskelion]

Jules: Reminds me of a Mugato I once knew. Oh, tender Ulrich, I wonder what became of you.

Nog: Kinda makes you wonder which of us is getting a lucky spin tonight.

Ezri: Whoever it is, I know I am.

 

[shivkala]

Sisko: Chief, are you telling me that my head of engineering, the guy I count on to keep this station running, can't fix this one simple problem?

O'Brien: Yes, sir, I told you, we can erase your history on the local drive, but Starfleet already has a record of your browsing history.

Sisko: You think they'd buy that I was trying to type "Crazy Bajoran Teenage Text"?

O'Brien: Sir, with all due respect, who do you think you're fooling with that?

Sisko: Well, I'm going to have to do the honorable thing and...

Sisko and O'brien, in unison: ...blame Jake!

Kira: Aren't you embarrassed to be seen in public wearing such an ridiculous outfit?

Intendent: I was just about to ask you the same question.

Weyoun: ...Two. One Vorta to ask the Founders if, in their infinite wisdom it should be changed, and the other to actually change it.

Dukat: Good one, Weyoun. Now, why did the Vorta cross the road? Because the Founder told it to!

Weyoun: Dukat, that's enough of your racist jokes.

Dukat: But, you just...

Weyoun: I can tell Vorta jokes because I'm a Vorta. See? I make a Vorta joke, not racist. You make one, it's racist.

Dukat: You make jokes about Cardassians all the time.

Weyoun: That's not racist either, if you check the agreement between the Dominion and the Cardassians, we are allowed to make fun of you all we want.

Bashir: If my readings are right, if these are exposed to fire for long enough, they will hatch into dragons.

Dax: Alright, enough Game of Thrones for you.

Nog: Why are we doing this again?

Dax: Because Benjamin saw this Spacetube video, "Picard & Riker being cooler than everything for 10 hours," and, well, he does not like to be outdone.

Nog: So, we're just going to keep walking down this corridor for 11 hours?

Dax: That's the plan, yes.

Nog: Did anyone tell him it's just a 30 second clip played on a loop?

Dax: Yes.

Nog: And?

Dax: Worf is now in traction and is being fed gagh through a straw.

Nog: In that case, I look forward to the next 10 hours and 57 minutes!

 

[Triskelion]

Weyoun: That's fifteen ninety-five.
Dukat: I don't think so. It's been over thirty parsecs.

 

[Ln X]

Bashir: Is that what you see every... every night?
Jadzia: Focus doctor, Worf's in the heat and those spikes must be cut off!
Bashir: Worf, please forgive me!
Worf: Apology accepted, the Klingon physique is a powerful one that will scare most people senseless.

 

[Triskelion]

Your slash fic sir?
"How Adami Got Her Groove Back." Wanna know how, Chief?
Not particularly, sir.
Let's just say it was someone with an affinity for big booty.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thanks for the win!

Sisko: Chief...?

O'Brien: Sorry, sir...corn beef and cabbage, last night....

Major Kira: That thing ever get hot?

Intendant Kira: Yeah. In its defense, though, it helps slim like a Turkish bath.

Weyoun: Well, at any rate, I'm all ears....

Damar and Dukat: Mm--hm-hm-hm-hm....

Weyoun: Something I said?

Dukat: Mnnnnnnnnnnnnn....

24th Century Chia Pets. Very distinguished.



AND...cue K-Billy's Super-Sounds of the (23)70's....

A qHentIn teren'tI'no film...
Reservior Targs