DS9 Caption Contest #64: Booo!

[LeadHead]

Happy Sunday Niners! Sorry about the late starts recently!

First up to the plate, we have the "Very observant!" Award, going to:

O'Brien: They seem to die and revive repeatedly!
Bashir: Makes sense, actually; judging by their art, they all worship Kenny from South Park.

Next, we have the "Tag Team Awesomeness" Award, going to:

Sisko: You will all find a phaser under your chair. It will fire one shot, and one shot only, so pick your target carefully. Welcome to Cardassian roulette. I'll be back in an hour to see if any of you are still alive.

O'Brien: "You do know that we're all going to shoot Dukat, right?"

Sisko: "Shhh."

Next, we have the "Guilty?" Award, going to:

QUARK I didn't do it!!!!!

ODO: All I said was hello.

Next, we have the "Checklist" Award, going to:

Eddington: (thinking) Rigged station security. Check. Fooled everyone. Check. Get away plan. Check. A new girlfriend to replace my wife... (sees Kira) Hmm...

Next, we have the "Poor planning" Award, going to:

Jake: "So...why are we following the mugatu tracks?"
Bashir: "Hmm...now that you mention it, that's not really very smart, is it."

Bashir: Quark's?
O'Brien: Julian, we just killed seven people.
Bashir: Vic's?
O'Brien: Vic's.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf started sneaking up on Ezri just to see if she screamed louder than Jadzia.

Garak: Found ya!

O'Brien: Dangit! Okay, you go hide and we'll find you.

Kira: Party Cleanup crew coming through!

Bashir: Whoa, it's like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip!

Worf: Could be rats Sir.

Sisko: Set 'em to exterminate!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Darth Sisko: "Don't fail me again, Old Man."

Nog: "Great. Here comes crazy Garak. I bet this is the part where he kills us."

Garak: "Hello! This is the part where I kill you!"

Kira: "Wow. The Cardassians really have no idea how to build a proper water heater."

Sisko "Looks like it punched right out into space."

Bashir 1: "Ok, so the time travel was maybe not such a good idea, but you have to let me out"

Bashir 2: "I already let me out."

Bashir 1: "What? When."

Bashir 2: "Four minutes ago. In the future."

Worf: "How could they cut the power? They're animals!"

Sisko: "Stay frosty. Stay alert."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Bashir: "No, please, listen! I really think I'm finally right on the verge of winning Jadzia over! And if you go out there and do something gauche, you'll ruin everything!"

 

[shivkala]

After seeing her "O" face, Worf decided to let Bashir have this Dax.

Garak: Oh, my, well this won't do at all.
O'Brien: Excuse me?
Garak: Don't mind me, I'm just commenting on the handiwork.
O'Brien: Look, would you mind not critiquing my handiwork as I'm working?
Garak: Oh, it's not your handiwork I'm concerned with, my dear Mr. O'Brien, it's the horrible stitching on your uniform, really, you'd think Starfleet would put more thought into their fashion...
O'Brien: Oh, I thought you were...oh never mind, let me get back to work...
Garak: Oh no, that won't do, that's the sign of poor workmanship...
O'Brien: Listen, could you critique Starfleet's fashion sense another time, I'm really busy here...
Garak: I wasn't commenting on the fashion that time...

Sisko: I've seen this before...looks like someone tried the famous Sisko jambalaya recipe...

Bashir: Replaced by a shapeshifter....yeah, right, like they'll fall for that one...

Worf: Man what in the world is happening down at the end of the hall? I don't have a clue? Let's check this thing out!
Sisko: What is happening here? Something's going on that's not quite clear. Somebody turn on the lights, we're gonna have a party, it's starting tonight
Worf: Oh, what a feeling! When we're dancing on the ceiling! Oh, what a feeling! When we're dancing on the ceiling!

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW, LH!

Ezri: Yo. Toss me a shrimp.

Garak: Chief, there is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder.

O'Brien: How many legs?

Garak: Too many to count, not so many they work in shifts.

O'Brien: Pffft. <Goes back to work>

Kira: Are you sure it's safe to light these fireworks on this deck?

Sisko: All at once? Hell no.

Julian: Where you going?
Julian: To get an enhancement.
Julian: Yes.
Julian: Yes.

Worf: Sir, the multilegged creature is back.
Sisko: Odo? Is that you?
Worf: The constable has far more important things to do, sir.
Odo <tiny voice>: Don't shoot! Pleeeeeeese!

 

[Valin]

Ezri (singing): The Trills are alive with the sound of music!

 

[R. Star]

After seeing how wide Ezri could open her mouth, Worf decided this new Dax definitely had possibilities.

O'Brien: Ghost stories?
Nog: That sounds awesome!
Garak: How delightful. You know cadet, in Cardassian ghost stories.... -someone- always dies.

Sisko: We're late.
Kira: How dare Quark start the Bong Party without us?!

Bashir: Wow Miles... that's really a believable costume. I've never seen so much detail.
Founder(thinking): These solids are so stupid. This is too easy.

Sisko: They got into the ventilation system?
Worf: I told you letting... Trick o'treaters... roam the station freely was a bad idea.

 

[Smellincoffee]

It was best not to see Worf until he'd had a chance to braid his hair in the mornings.

Bashir: My god! I have an identical twin! And in Starfleet, no less!
Changeling: ...er, yes. (Humans really are useless before their first cup of coffee!)

Worf: It appears to be a...pancake.
Sisko: They're neural parasites, Mr. Worf. Shoot to kill.
Worf: Why not scrape it up with a spatula?
Sisko: These 'pancakes' have a vicious streak two klicks wide, Mr. Worf! They're killers.
Worf, preparing to use rifle as club: I shall take care of the pe- AGH!!!!!!!!
Sisko: I WARNED YOU!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Ezri: "It's called the 'cabin boy cut.' Mr. Mott highly recommended it. And I was drunk. So get off my case!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Ezri: "Oh! I was not going to try on Jadzia's bras... no... that was the last thing on my mind. Not that you needed to ask. As we're obviously not the same size. So not curious...."

O'Brien: "Get that damned light out of my face, ye damned spoonhead!"
Garak: "Someone needs to cut down on his raktajino."

Sisko: "Looks like the whole conduit blew out. Anyone working here would have been incinerated instantly."
Kira: "I guess the chief won't be wanting his raktajino then."

Bashir 1: "I'm you from the future. I'm here to stop you sleeping with Leeta. You'll give her an STD, which she'll pass on to Rom when she leaves you, which will mutate and infect the entire Ferengi Alliance. They'll all suffer shocking lobe reduction, which will spur them to a devastating war with the Federation, who they'll blame."
Bashir 2: "Leeta leaves me... For Rom!"
Bashir 1: "Missing the point here."

Worf: "What's that noise?"
Sisko: "The plumbing under the O'Brien's quarters."
Worf: "Raktajinos?"
Sisko: "Or Keiko's cooking. Who knows?"
Worf: "Someone ought to repair that."
Sisko: "Are you going to tell O'Brien that his bowels are causing that?"
Worf: "I may be Klingon, but I'm not foolhardy."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Ezri Dax: "B...Benjamin! I had no idea you were now the world's tallest man, with a goatee of pure latinum and eyes of glowing red".

Sisko (rich, booming voice): "And don't you forget it!"

O'Brien: "Garak. We told you; when the urge to kill rises, make two flashes in warning. Three flashes means a crewman's going into premature labour, and we're all male".

Garak: "Sorry". *Flash* *Flash*

Nog: "No, no, no! That's five flashes now - that means imminent Klingon attack. Get it right!"

"My plan is this, Founder. Send a changeling to replace a target. Then, without telling the first changeling, send another changeling to take that form and expose the first changeling. Thus, when the first changeling is revealed to be a changeling, the second will be assumed to be the real deal. And thus will no longer be under suspicion of being a changeling!"

"I can't decide if that's the cleverest or the dumbest thing you've ever said, Weyoun"

"Thank you, Founder".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Garak: Chief, there is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder.

O'Brien: How many legs?

Garak: Too many to count, not so many they work in shifts.

O'Brien: Pffft. <Goes back to work>

For some reason, I absolutely love this one.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Garak: "What's this? Skulking around in the dark with the Ferengi kid? Word to the wise: That's what got me booted off Cardassia."

 

[Jerikka Dawn]

Garak: Gentlemen, If I may interrupt for a moment to ask -- how many lights do you see?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Ezri: (Thinking Crap): "I know where I was when it came back"

 

[Nerys Myk]

EZRI: Jadzia???!!!! I suppose you'll want the symbiont back?

 

[Triskelion]

Oil can!

O'Brien: Well there was something organic here, but the trail has long since vaporized from ambient radiation. What kind of pet did you say you lost back here?

Garak: It was a cat. Named Legate Yum Yum.

Nog: If it did not have a collar it would be returned to its organic constituents!

Garak: He had - a collar!

Kira: I once liberated a prison detail of a thousand with a raid on Cardassian Central Command; and here I am reduced to hunting for a lost Cardie cat.

Sisko: It's either this or we finish out our shifts at Ops.

Kira: Here Legate Yum Yum! Here kitty kitty!

"Listen, are you quite sure the force field is on?"

"If you touch it, it will really hurt! Don't - touch it!"

"But -"

"Make you void your bowels. Zap!"

"It's just - I will feel really stupid if it's not even turned on."

"ZAP!"

"Ok, ok!"

Sisko: Quiet, Mister Worf. I will pretend to pleasure myself and you watch the hole in the ceiling.

Worf <powers phase rifle>: It is a good day to die.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BASHIR: Come on, I'm way better looking than that!

GARAK: Just how long is it going to take to get the lights back on?

O'BRIEN: Have you ever had to deal with stupid Cardie tech??

 

[Ln X]

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Ezri: Constable!
Odo: It's okay Dax, every humanoid does it when they're on their own, though next time I suggest more discretion lest someone else catches you with a hand down your trousers...

Nog: (whispering) Chief, Garak's in the midst of a murderous rampage! What do we do?
O'Brien: I know what to do! Say Garak, you wouldn't mind playing a game of Kotra?

Sisko: How many times is it now?
Kira: Seven I think, this is the seventh time she's blown up the science lab.
Sisko: As I keep warning you, Dax's can be impulsive.

Bashir to the left: (thinking) Oh fuddlesticks, I can't believe I got myself trapped behind this forcefield while the real Bashir escaped!

Worf: Sir do you hear that sound?
Sisko: I do.
Worf: It's sounds like thousands of Jem'Hadar are stomping their boots on the ground in time.
Sisko: They must have copied that from the orcs.
Worf: Orcs?
Sisko: In Lord of the Rings: Two Towers, before the orcs stormed Helms Deep, they made a right raucous trying to intimidate the Rohan defenders... Why, you're not scared are you Mr Worf?
Worf: No, no sir!