DS9 Caption Contest #57: Sharing a Kanar with Damar!

[Thor Damar]

Damar: There are 4 lights - QUIT ASKING.

Weyoun: "I don't get it, is this a Cardassian thing?

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

"Welcome to the Late Late Show, I am your host, TV's Damar Ferguson. It's a great day for Cardassia, everybody!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Damar: No thank you, I don't want to take the red-eye flight.

 

[shivkala]

"Welcome to the Late Late Show, I am your host, TV's Damar Ferguson. It's a great day for Cardassia, everybody!"

"And now for your subspace Tweet communications. This one is from Weyoun on Cardassia Prime. 'Damar, when are you going to sober up and realize you aren't a late night TV host?' You're right, Weyoun, there's no way I could be on TV with lighting as crappy as this. I mean, really, no band, crappy lighting, what's CBS* trying to pull here. Thanks so much for writing Weyoun, and now for...*ding dong* Who's that at the door?...Why it's Secretariat!"

*The Cardassian Broadcasting Company, of course.

 

[Ln X]

Damar: The Cardassian Union would like to welcome all attendees to the 78th Interplanetary Olympic Games! Please do not worry about the Jem'Hadar troops, Dominion vessels or our Changeling masters. They are all here to ensure your protection and make sure nothing goes wrong in a free Cardassia's very first Olympic Games!

O'Brien: Porno, porno, crew manifest, porno, Dukat's love poetry to Kira, porno and more por-... Christ Damar! What do you put in your computer's database?

Worf: YOU... SHALL... NOT... PASS!!!
Damar: They're dead Worf!
Worf: Oh...

Weyoun: Damar if you do not cease your pointless quibbling I will be forced to er... sterilize your harem of 'girlfriends'.

Damar: The fleet is ready sir! All ships are ready to attack DS9!
Dukat: I've waited a long time for this! Damar! Play my victory song! We Will Rock You!

 

[inflatabledalek]

O'Brien: Chat Roulette sucks. And dear God... is he unzipping?

O'Brien: No no no, this isn't a piece of engineering equipment. It's what you balance your scrabble pieces on.

Worf: Hurry up and get my jacket before someone notices I'm a red shirt!

Damar: I keep feeling like I'm being watched!

Weyoun: It's just the drink.

Dukat: What... what is this thing? Ahhhh, did someone stick this on me when I was asleep? By the mighty space toad, I think they stapled it on me.

 

[Merlanthe]

DAMAR: What are you looking at?...I'm serious, stop looking at me...just go about your daily routine like i'm not even here...whilst I quietly find the off switch...

DAMAR: I dont see anything...
O'BRIEN: But its right there!
DAMAR: Where?
O'BRIEN: Right there! Y'know there.
DAMAR: ...what does it look like?
O'BRIEN: Y'know, bright an...spiky...an kinda shiiiiiny...
DAMAR: ...have you been drinking my kanar again?

DAMAR: Wow, so the Worf effect is infectious.

WORF: .....Worf effect?

WEYOUN: B..but..Damar I beg you dont defect to the Federation, I know we've had our differences in the past but...I dont want to be the founders whipping boy

DUKAT: And know we set course for Terok Nor and victory!

DAMAR: Err, did you mean to press the self destruct?

DUKAT: Easily fixed with just a flip of a switch

DAMAR: That was the windshield wipers...

DUKAT: Oh sorry my mistake..again...stop looking at me like that Damar.

DAMAR: You know if you would just take off those silly eye lasers you would...

DUKAT: The eye lasers are awesome!

DAMAR:...

DUKAT: Do not insult the eye lasers!

DAMAR: ...okaay....but we really should do something about the self destruct...before we die a horrible fiery death...

WEYOUN: We shall pray to the almighty eye lasers for deliverance for they are the true Gods!

DAMAR: ...Sure... you guys do that... I'll just go make sure the escape pods are working correctly.

 

[Kirby]

... and then one day when the Founder met this Leget, and they knew it was much more than a hunch...

O'Brien: A reset button? What do you think this is, Voyager?

Dukat: I got it from this woman on Risa. It's really a fun game, you should try it.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Weyoun: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have Jem'Hadar with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my Cardassian colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Damar: Cardassian voles.
Weyoun: ...Right.
Dukat: They're MUTATED Cardassian voles.

 

[LeadHead]

New contest has begun!